Privilege walks. [View all]
Just watching Katie Couric's report on the new racial sensitivity exercise where everyone gets lined up, then based on a series of questions you either take a step up or back. If the group is diverse, the individuals who are of ethnic backgrounds usually end up where they began. And it's the white people who are leading the pack, having to deal with ambivalent feelings of guilt and feeling lucky.
This has got to be one hell of a depressing experience for those who are stuck on the line, because, once again, their whole existence in that moment is to help white folk understand their privilege.
I know this from experience as a minority who came up through the social advances made in the sixties era. If you started at the same time I did, assimilation was a priority. The objective was to blend in, at the same time that you hoped that your presence was creating opportunities for others to learn from you, too. But, in the end, you realize that it was only the common civilities and courtesies that you extended to them that they were responding to. There is no real connection or awareness outside of the Cinco de Mayo celebrations where alcohol seems to help make the day of recognition in someone else's culture a little more appealing.
After decades of friendship, it's usually a slip of the tongue that brings it home. For me, it was when a close friend told me that she explained to her children that I was the "crazy aunt." In other words, someone who needs to be tolerated, despite our political divide. The realization sank in slowly. Holy shit, I have been nothing more, but their token minority friend. They never did see my perspective, because there was too much superficial "common ground" from the common civilities. They expended nothing in their personal lives, and they learned nothing.
I hope that the generations that follow can have better discussions with people of vast cultures and find more solid ground in their relationships. Remember not to get too comfortable in your social circles. Broaden your base of friends whenever possible.
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