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Joel Osteen will need a job at Chick-fil-A to pay his light bill!
So perfect!
I'll throw in: 
Barron Trump will be given a new identity, and is stoked about his summer gig as a ramp monkey with Nitro Circus.
Melania will be granted asylum by the Kardashians.
Eric and Don Jr. will be given work release to train on their new jobs as "The Gator Relocator" and "The Python Pro"
ICE will be taking on more of a due dilligence role, and will be starting with the residents of any property owned by the Trump Orginization.
Steve Bannon will become a performance artist. His first "installation" will be a group piece, with white nationalists and Ayn Rand supporters forming a circular firing squad.
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