General Discussion

forthemiddle

(1,459 posts)

86. I was really young when my son was born

Sun Aug 12, 2012, 05:24 PM

Aug 2012

I married my high school sweetheart when I was only 19 years old. I had my one, and only child at 21, so I was quite young. I am only in my mid 40's now.

I did the poverty thing when we were first married (we only made $11,500 combined that first year), so we have struggled. Through hard work, and perserverance we have improved our lot (as I said in my first post), so now we are finally able to enjoy the things we couldn't when we were first married. I refuse to not have a hotel room on vacation with a hot shower. LOL.

But even being an empty nester now, I am having the time of my life. It is amazing when you realize after 25 years of marriage, raising a child, struggling, etc. I have realized that I really LIKE my husband!!!! We are having a blast together, and I am still as happy, or happier than when I married him 25 years ago!!!!

I tell my son now, when looking for a lifetime mate, look for your best friend, and not the lust. You can never go wrong!!!

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The Upper-Middle Class Has Itself to Blame for Student Debt [View all] xchrom Aug 2012 OP

Not just elite colleges forthemiddle Aug 2012 #1

i am right there with you only we have not stepped into it yet. seabeyond Aug 2012 #3

My daughter got a huge (almost half the cost) scholarship and fin. aide elehhhhna Aug 2012 #74

that is sad for your daughter, ahving accomplished and then cant do. but, that is what i am seeing seabeyond Aug 2012 #76

it matters for the connections if you know how to use them. HiPointDem Aug 2012 #79

like politics. you can meet the "right" people for 200K elehhhhna Aug 2012 #82

pretty much. it's depressing to learn that real life is just like high school. HiPointDem Aug 2012 #84

They can repossess your car and house lovuian Aug 2012 #83

Ermm... ananda Aug 2012 #35

Errmm, $300k falls into the wealthy category. Forthemiddle said they're closer to the $90k category riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #49

thank you. i did not want to correct and state the obvious. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #51

Public college costs need to be contained. There's no one to blame but legislatures for shifting leveymg Aug 2012 #61

our taxes are going up for our jr college, significantly. state had cut them in budget. a very good seabeyond Aug 2012 #64

I graduated from a shitty state school in Jersey City in 1998. Tuition for my last year was about smokey nj Aug 2012 #69

Need-based grants and loans effectively implements a sliding scale tuition. FarCenter Aug 2012 #70

The effective cost of higher education continues to rise faster than anything other than health care leveymg Aug 2012 #72

my problem is who decides "needs" based? forthemiddle Aug 2012 #89

The US Department of Education decides. FarCenter Aug 2012 #92

Upper middle class families with this problem have not saved for education FarCenter Aug 2012 #2

it isnt that simple. for the last 3,4 yrs we have lost about 40% seabeyond Aug 2012 #4

You have to start when the kid is born FarCenter Aug 2012 #10

sure. isnt that ideal. and the costs of living, saving for retirement, insurance, and wage were seabeyond Aug 2012 #15

The present seems very much like the '70s FarCenter Aug 2012 #19

Tuition at Harvard in 1975 was $2500 per year. That would be @ $10,500 in 2012 dollars riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #33

harvard is only 55k? (ya, i know) when smu, perdue, NW are 55K seabeyond Aug 2012 #39

Yup, that's just tuition, not the rest. nt riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #41

thanks. that sounds more right. not better, lol. just right. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #45

I was reflecting on the stagnation of the economy. You are right that college costs are out of hand. FarCenter Aug 2012 #46

my hubby found this article, for used books. this is good. seabeyond Aug 2012 #50

Harvard costs nothing for anyone who can get in and is in need. grasswire Aug 2012 #62

if parent makes a certain income. and i am all for this. but.... this income is not gonna get a seabeyond Aug 2012 #65

I only pulled that out as an analogy for rising costs, nothing more. nt riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #77

You obviously didn't have anyone in your household with medical issues. riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #16

This poster is always and firmly in the so-called "personal responsibility" corner and when the Egalitarian Thug Aug 2012 #34

Thanks. Pretty obvious now that we're deep into this thread/convo riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #44

Over my life one of the few things I've consistently found is that those that "make it" are Egalitarian Thug Aug 2012 #59

Without foresight, planning, and setting of priorities, you're unlikely to get lucky. FarCenter Aug 2012 #68

Or when the child is 12 you can get cancer and face $200k in medical bills riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #78

I admit to being pretty flabbergasted at the willful and deliberate avoidance riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #81

When the "baby was born", we weren't EARNING "middle class" wages. PassingFair Aug 2012 #25

Exactly, thank you. What you earn when your child is a college freshman is probably much more TwilightGardener Aug 2012 #27

Wages go up due to inflation, promotion or job changes. FarCenter Aug 2012 #36

Yeah, I'm sure everyone has a "concrete plan" to make shitloads more money every year as they TwilightGardener Aug 2012 #42

plus, wages are NOT going up and they are NOT adjusting to inflation. further wages are seabeyond Aug 2012 #47

Yes. Thank you. TwilightGardener Aug 2012 #48

Yes indeed! Or even $50k a year. GreenPartyVoter Aug 2012 #29

Really? Do you think you could save $120,000 for each child in your family? riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #6

exactly. i told sons, work ass off, do what you are suppose to and we pay. now.... son did what seabeyond Aug 2012 #9

My kids have always known they have to work and they would have student loans riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #11

you are so right on. at least, my kids are young enough we are saying, not what you want to do seabeyond Aug 2012 #20

Forthemiddle gave an income range of "($94,535 and $205,335 a year)" FarCenter Aug 2012 #12

How many people make 150,000 for 17 or more years, consistently--even through their TwilightGardener Aug 2012 #17

exactly. and that is another good point. and how about 100k. i could grab from retirement seabeyond Aug 2012 #22

My son is leaving this week to start his freshman year (just plain ol' State U)- TwilightGardener Aug 2012 #26

the end of your paragraph... i agree. seabeyond Aug 2012 #28

That's the other piece of this. The group we're talking about doesn't want their kids working patrice Aug 2012 #54

you may be right. but i started working at 12 in fathers business. i think it is an excellent idea seabeyond Aug 2012 #55

Even just a little job, perhaps with plenty of public contact, is good, but too many hours isn't goo patrice Aug 2012 #63

he got a job at hastings coffee shop. books, customers. it is perfect. and he is well seabeyond Aug 2012 #66

our income is not $150,000 a year. forthemiddle Aug 2012 #18

That's if they go to a state school, college costs never rise, riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #21

also, i had grandparents on both sides say they were putting money into a program for kids college seabeyond Aug 2012 #23

Thanks for the broad brush forthemiddle Aug 2012 #14

i kick your ass. we didnt go on a driving vacation this year. seabeyond Aug 2012 #24

according to some, maybe we should be camping out instead forthemiddle Aug 2012 #32

The REAL conversation is why we have allowed this system of student loans to balloon riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #40

how do you decide who the "bright" students are? forthemiddle Aug 2012 #52

I believe anyone who can get into college should have the majority of their tuition subsidized. riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #57

Great answer forthemiddle Aug 2012 #85

exactly. sons just wandered in. i was telling him about this conversation and read the title seabeyond Aug 2012 #53

i am afraid of bears. i like showers, my bad. lol. seabeyond Aug 2012 #43

I was really young when my son was born forthemiddle Aug 2012 #86

i love your post. seabeyond Aug 2012 #87

Thanks for the belated Welcome forthemiddle Aug 2012 #90

does not by any way mean that they were happy with Walker seabeyond Aug 2012 #91

As usual, your "centrist" assumption doesn't hold water for most... Occulus Aug 2012 #30

Costs for 2012 at the University of Illinois, a public state school for in-state undergrads is $30k riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #5

Scholarships for the best and the brightest have been deemphasized FarCenter Aug 2012 #13

Yes, but I think the cause may actually lie elsewhere. GoCubsGo Aug 2012 #7

Any doubt that we are now largely a mandarin (as opposed to meritocratic) coalition_unwilling Aug 2012 #8

1+ I think most of the kids just want to get away, so they don't DRIVE this process. patrice Aug 2012 #38

Oldest daughter leaves for freshman year this week SickOfTheOnePct Aug 2012 #31

ya, but.... seabeyond Aug 2012 #56

"doing what's right for their sons and daughters"?? IF "right" is defined solely as bigger paychecks patrice Aug 2012 #37

i like the way you think. i believe, too. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #58

Glad I didn't have kids! We are Devo Aug 2012 #60

ah, but the entertainment factor. lol. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #67

My dog is plenty entertaining! n/t We are Devo Aug 2012 #88

I only recently got a promotion exboyfil Aug 2012 #71

"upper-middle-class families often get the worst of all possible worlds?!?!?" oh my..... David__77 Aug 2012 #73

last week's article was: 'why it's impossible to live in nyc on $250K/year' HiPointDem Aug 2012 #80

cats, not kids, I say NJCher Aug 2012 #75