General Discussion

forthemiddle

(1,459 posts)

89. my problem is who decides "needs" based?

Sun Aug 12, 2012, 05:40 PM

Aug 2012

My son is 22, so legally an adult, yet because his Dad and I make "too much money" he is not considered needy.

I am more than willing to pay 1/2 his tuition, yet the state doesn't give me an option. Many of his friends are in roughly the same income level as we are, yet, for reasons only they know, they are unwilling to give anything towards their child's education. They are old school, and figure once a child is an adult, they are on their own. Now the child (or adult) suffers. Financial aid rules are so rigid that this child can not say "My parents aren't helping out, give me more". To me that isn't fair. Once they are adults, kids should not have to rely on their parent's for help.

I don't have an answer though. Because, regardless of the reason, our Country is broke. This is outside politics, we can agree on why (Wars, taxes, etc) but as of today, there is no more money to shell out, so what is the solution?

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The Upper-Middle Class Has Itself to Blame for Student Debt [View all] xchrom Aug 2012 OP

Not just elite colleges forthemiddle Aug 2012 #1

i am right there with you only we have not stepped into it yet. seabeyond Aug 2012 #3

My daughter got a huge (almost half the cost) scholarship and fin. aide elehhhhna Aug 2012 #74

that is sad for your daughter, ahving accomplished and then cant do. but, that is what i am seeing seabeyond Aug 2012 #76

it matters for the connections if you know how to use them. HiPointDem Aug 2012 #79

like politics. you can meet the "right" people for 200K elehhhhna Aug 2012 #82

pretty much. it's depressing to learn that real life is just like high school. HiPointDem Aug 2012 #84

They can repossess your car and house lovuian Aug 2012 #83

Ermm... ananda Aug 2012 #35

Errmm, $300k falls into the wealthy category. Forthemiddle said they're closer to the $90k category riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #49

thank you. i did not want to correct and state the obvious. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #51

Public college costs need to be contained. There's no one to blame but legislatures for shifting leveymg Aug 2012 #61

our taxes are going up for our jr college, significantly. state had cut them in budget. a very good seabeyond Aug 2012 #64

I graduated from a shitty state school in Jersey City in 1998. Tuition for my last year was about smokey nj Aug 2012 #69

Need-based grants and loans effectively implements a sliding scale tuition. FarCenter Aug 2012 #70

The effective cost of higher education continues to rise faster than anything other than health care leveymg Aug 2012 #72

my problem is who decides "needs" based? forthemiddle Aug 2012 #89

The US Department of Education decides. FarCenter Aug 2012 #92

Upper middle class families with this problem have not saved for education FarCenter Aug 2012 #2

it isnt that simple. for the last 3,4 yrs we have lost about 40% seabeyond Aug 2012 #4

You have to start when the kid is born FarCenter Aug 2012 #10

sure. isnt that ideal. and the costs of living, saving for retirement, insurance, and wage were seabeyond Aug 2012 #15

The present seems very much like the '70s FarCenter Aug 2012 #19

Tuition at Harvard in 1975 was $2500 per year. That would be @ $10,500 in 2012 dollars riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #33

harvard is only 55k? (ya, i know) when smu, perdue, NW are 55K seabeyond Aug 2012 #39

Yup, that's just tuition, not the rest. nt riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #41

thanks. that sounds more right. not better, lol. just right. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #45

I was reflecting on the stagnation of the economy. You are right that college costs are out of hand. FarCenter Aug 2012 #46

my hubby found this article, for used books. this is good. seabeyond Aug 2012 #50

Harvard costs nothing for anyone who can get in and is in need. grasswire Aug 2012 #62

if parent makes a certain income. and i am all for this. but.... this income is not gonna get a seabeyond Aug 2012 #65

I only pulled that out as an analogy for rising costs, nothing more. nt riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #77

You obviously didn't have anyone in your household with medical issues. riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #16

This poster is always and firmly in the so-called "personal responsibility" corner and when the Egalitarian Thug Aug 2012 #34

Thanks. Pretty obvious now that we're deep into this thread/convo riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #44

Over my life one of the few things I've consistently found is that those that "make it" are Egalitarian Thug Aug 2012 #59

Without foresight, planning, and setting of priorities, you're unlikely to get lucky. FarCenter Aug 2012 #68

Or when the child is 12 you can get cancer and face $200k in medical bills riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #78

I admit to being pretty flabbergasted at the willful and deliberate avoidance riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #81

When the "baby was born", we weren't EARNING "middle class" wages. PassingFair Aug 2012 #25

Exactly, thank you. What you earn when your child is a college freshman is probably much more TwilightGardener Aug 2012 #27

Wages go up due to inflation, promotion or job changes. FarCenter Aug 2012 #36

Yeah, I'm sure everyone has a "concrete plan" to make shitloads more money every year as they TwilightGardener Aug 2012 #42

plus, wages are NOT going up and they are NOT adjusting to inflation. further wages are seabeyond Aug 2012 #47

Yes. Thank you. TwilightGardener Aug 2012 #48

Yes indeed! Or even $50k a year. GreenPartyVoter Aug 2012 #29

Really? Do you think you could save $120,000 for each child in your family? riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #6

exactly. i told sons, work ass off, do what you are suppose to and we pay. now.... son did what seabeyond Aug 2012 #9

My kids have always known they have to work and they would have student loans riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #11

you are so right on. at least, my kids are young enough we are saying, not what you want to do seabeyond Aug 2012 #20

Forthemiddle gave an income range of "($94,535 and $205,335 a year)" FarCenter Aug 2012 #12

How many people make 150,000 for 17 or more years, consistently--even through their TwilightGardener Aug 2012 #17

exactly. and that is another good point. and how about 100k. i could grab from retirement seabeyond Aug 2012 #22

My son is leaving this week to start his freshman year (just plain ol' State U)- TwilightGardener Aug 2012 #26

the end of your paragraph... i agree. seabeyond Aug 2012 #28

That's the other piece of this. The group we're talking about doesn't want their kids working patrice Aug 2012 #54

you may be right. but i started working at 12 in fathers business. i think it is an excellent idea seabeyond Aug 2012 #55

Even just a little job, perhaps with plenty of public contact, is good, but too many hours isn't goo patrice Aug 2012 #63

he got a job at hastings coffee shop. books, customers. it is perfect. and he is well seabeyond Aug 2012 #66

our income is not $150,000 a year. forthemiddle Aug 2012 #18

That's if they go to a state school, college costs never rise, riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #21

also, i had grandparents on both sides say they were putting money into a program for kids college seabeyond Aug 2012 #23

Thanks for the broad brush forthemiddle Aug 2012 #14

i kick your ass. we didnt go on a driving vacation this year. seabeyond Aug 2012 #24

according to some, maybe we should be camping out instead forthemiddle Aug 2012 #32

The REAL conversation is why we have allowed this system of student loans to balloon riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #40

how do you decide who the "bright" students are? forthemiddle Aug 2012 #52

I believe anyone who can get into college should have the majority of their tuition subsidized. riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #57

Great answer forthemiddle Aug 2012 #85

exactly. sons just wandered in. i was telling him about this conversation and read the title seabeyond Aug 2012 #53

i am afraid of bears. i like showers, my bad. lol. seabeyond Aug 2012 #43

I was really young when my son was born forthemiddle Aug 2012 #86

i love your post. seabeyond Aug 2012 #87

Thanks for the belated Welcome forthemiddle Aug 2012 #90

does not by any way mean that they were happy with Walker seabeyond Aug 2012 #91

As usual, your "centrist" assumption doesn't hold water for most... Occulus Aug 2012 #30

Costs for 2012 at the University of Illinois, a public state school for in-state undergrads is $30k riderinthestorm Aug 2012 #5

Scholarships for the best and the brightest have been deemphasized FarCenter Aug 2012 #13

Yes, but I think the cause may actually lie elsewhere. GoCubsGo Aug 2012 #7

Any doubt that we are now largely a mandarin (as opposed to meritocratic) coalition_unwilling Aug 2012 #8

1+ I think most of the kids just want to get away, so they don't DRIVE this process. patrice Aug 2012 #38

Oldest daughter leaves for freshman year this week SickOfTheOnePct Aug 2012 #31

ya, but.... seabeyond Aug 2012 #56

"doing what's right for their sons and daughters"?? IF "right" is defined solely as bigger paychecks patrice Aug 2012 #37

i like the way you think. i believe, too. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #58

Glad I didn't have kids! We are Devo Aug 2012 #60

ah, but the entertainment factor. lol. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #67

My dog is plenty entertaining! n/t We are Devo Aug 2012 #88

I only recently got a promotion exboyfil Aug 2012 #71

"upper-middle-class families often get the worst of all possible worlds?!?!?" oh my..... David__77 Aug 2012 #73

last week's article was: 'why it's impossible to live in nyc on $250K/year' HiPointDem Aug 2012 #80

cats, not kids, I say NJCher Aug 2012 #75