I didn't know this week would have this effect on me. Can anyone relate?

[Silver1]

143. My List

Last edited Wed Oct 3, 2018, 09:14 AM - Edit history (1)

I was five when I was sexually assaulted by an 18 year old neighbor.

I was 15 when I had my first job in a drug store and was harassed daily by an older man who worked in the next department. He was gross, and made me feel gross for attracting his attention. I still feel the disgust viscerally.

I was 17 when my sister (22) and I were chased through a wooded area by three men. Saved by two other people who happened to be walking in the area. They would have raped us.

I was 21 when I was followed by a man at night while walking home in a quiet neighborhood. Luckily I had a 2 x 4 I was carrying home for a college project I was building. Terrified, I turned around and waited for him to reach me, and face to face, I threatened him with it. My adrenaline was through the roof. Miraculously, he turned around and walked away. I was so afraid I didn't sleep all night.

I was 22 when I crashed at a college classmates house after a final exam a group of us had crammed for days for. I woke up with his hands on me and told him to stop. He did, but he kept at it again and again, just wouldn't take no for an answer. Finally I screamed at him and he did stop. I never spoke with him after that. I guess I felt somehow responsible, because even though I did nothing, I felt disgusting. It's irrational I know, but there it is.

In my twenties, at a job I was so excited to have, my team's project manager, lewd, creepy, set his sights on me. I ignored him as best as I could until he started resenting me for not responding to his advances and became belligerent and rude. For the first time I really understood what a difficult position working women were in. I was not seen for my abilities and would not advance there no matter how hard I worked, unless I complied. It was discouraging to say the least.

That event was pivotal for me, because after that job, I became a freelancer. Not stable and not steady, but I didn't have to deal with this kind of thing anymore.

Thank you for starting this thread and for sharing your experience. I think it's one of the most sincere and heartfelt threads I've seen on DU.