General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Not sure how long i have left. [View all]NewEnglandAutumn
(184 posts)He will grieve. When my oldest son passed away his brother, who is on the spectrum, most defiantly grieve. Just not in ways others do. He was overwhelmed by people at the funeral (hugs etc.) and I have not seen him cry. He does however talk about his brother. At first he 'mocked' him. He would say that we should have asked everyone who came to the funeral to wear shorts over their pants as CJ did in high school. He would tell people his brother died of old age because he was bald (shaved his head), had a pin in his hip and died in his sleep.
I could not bring myself to scatter his ashes so about 2 weeks after the funeral. My son set up some action figures in front of his ashes as a mock honor guard. Then later he changed it by adding and removing things a bobble head Jesus, put a map of middle earth over what is now called "The Shrine" and put out coffee beans as an 'offering'. We now decorate The Shrine for Christmas. For many. people it seems weird but for us it is a way to remember CJ without making it a big deal because we don't make it huge thing or cry buckets of tears. But I assure you he DOES grieve and we stumbled on a way to help him do so; by treating his brother with our own odd mixture of love and teasing.