I won't watch any network's election results unless

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. I won't watch any report featuring Steve Kornacki

because he's so frenetic he drives me nuts. It's like he goes on the air after doing a line of coke and drinking a quart of Red Bull, and then he stands there babbling like an auctioneer and flapping his arms like one of those those tube-shaped advertising doo-dads with the flailing arms that you see outside car dealerships. Even muting the jabbering doesn't work because I can still see him out of the corner of my eye, conducting an imaginary orchestra playing The Flight of the Bumblebee with real bumblebees in his pants. I'll probably just check DU from time to time.