For Those of Us with Aging Parents,

[MineralMan]

11. Yes. Being mindful of the fact that they are still important

people in your life helps. I've had to make many adjustments in my relationship with my parents. I'm no longer just their eldest son. These days, I also have to play the role of adviser and even parent at times with them. It's a very delicate balance, I'm finding. I cannot tell them what to do. I can only work to convince them of what is the best choice.

What finally worked with my father was describing a scenario where he has fallen outdoors and cannot get up. Once I pointed out to him that my mother is no longer able to remember where he is and is no longer able to dial 911 seemed to do the trick. He has fallen outside a couple of times. Both times, a neighbor happened by and found him. That's not always an option.

Anyhow, he's getting it, finally.

I call them every day at the same time. If my father doesn't answer, I try again 15 minutes later. If I don't reach him then, I call my brother-in-law, who will go and check on them. He and my sister drop by at least twice a day, as well. Having them in assisted living means that someone is aware of them and checks on them at regular intervals, at least at mealtimes, which is even better.