DEAR TODD (a most RIGHTEOUS RANT by a registered Republican woman)

[PossumSqueezins]

10. Elective Rape

Todd Akin is just trying to reduce the incidence of rape in this country by informing women that when they electively decide to get raped, there will be consequences, like childbirth. Causes of elective rape include, but are not limited to: wearing provocative clothing, wearing make-up, being coquettish, having pheromones, wearing perfume, being in a room with a man other than her husband, wearing clothing, not wearing clothing, talking, walking, being out-of-doors without an escort, and being indoors without an escort.

Todd Akin has studied rape extensively(he holds a Doctorate in Rapology from University of Phoenix) and knows from his own experience at scout camp that it is usually the victim's fault. He never wore that lavender Speedo again.

And again, for clarification, where rare instances of forcible rape do occur, the chances of pregnancy is near zero. This is due to many hormonal changes in the physiology of the rapee. In forcible rape, the victim immediately secretes a special hormone in the brain which travels to the woman's naughty area/parts and prevents pregnancy. In elective rape, the woman's guilt prevents release of this hormone and pregnancy may result. In the case of children who become pregnant from molestation, the brain is not fully developed and can not manufacture the hormone. Mr. Akins strongly recommends that young girls abstain from molestation until they are at least 18 years of age.

We owe Representative Akin our debt of gratitude for attempting to educate the American public about rape and personal responsibility.