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Collimator

(2,068 posts)
21. I have made this point before.
Mon Apr 1, 2019, 11:22 AM
Apr 2019

People are conflating social behavior with sexual behavior. Part of the problem is that many aspects of social behavior have been dictated by gender roles and to many, gender equals sex. (That is not "sex" in terms of actions but rather identity.)

In past mainstream American culture, a man could kiss a woman on the cheek in greeting during an initial introduction under certain circumstances. Issues of age and rank would also come into play. A man kissing another man under identical circumstances would raise eyebrows and the word, "inappropriate" might indeed, be mentioned.

The very word, inappropriate, is becoming highly charged in the public discourse because of this problem. If Biden had worn Birkenstock sandals to a State dinner, that would be inappropriate. If he had worn ass-less chaps that would have been [s]hilarious[/s]-- I mean indecent.

The #Metoo Movement is critical because it addresses hidden systematic abuses of power framed within a sexual context. Like any human endeavor, it can be flawed by differing interpretations and sensibilities. We must take care to distinguish behavior that would be considered criminal and indecent were it conducted in public from behavior that is socially inept, annoyingly presumptuous or "merely" patronizing.

As mentioned before, in "Olden Times" a "gentleman" might kiss a "lady" on the cheek upon first meeting her. A kiss on the mouth would have earned him a slap to the face from the woman or more likely a stern, restraining hand to the shoulder by the damsel's male protector. He would not have been arrested (I think), but he would have been socially sanctioned from his peer group.

Times have changed, and now it seems people are clamoring from social sanctions against those who kiss a woman's cheek. I can applaud this change, because many of the ingrained attitudes that have kept women back were laying right below the surface of many of the social "niceties" of the past. As the change filters through our 21st Century, we can be patient enough to not pillory those men who were raised with mid-20th Century social standards.

Such men are not sexual predators and should not be grouped with men whose actions were clearly criminal. Weinstein groped and exposed himself to people who did not consent to any form of sexual action. These actions range from sexual assault to indecent exposure. Rose appeared nude in front of employees and colleagues who, again, offered no invitation or gave consent to unclothed condition. This is indecent exposure. Lauer had a mechanism in his office that allowed him to lock people in the room with him. Even if all he did was show vacation slides, that is essentially kidnapping.

None of those behaviors would be considered appropriate in a civilized society, much less in our modern one. Those men understood entirely well that their actions were outside acceptable standards, which is why they veiled with their power.

Biden and others committed their deeds--"mis"-- or other wise in public. They have been challenged to see their patterns in a new light by differing standards and they are capable of change.

Recommendations

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So let me get this straight: [View all] Rustynaerduwell Apr 2019 OP
K&R, Maybe DNC should set out some boundaries uponit7771 Apr 2019 #1
Well, Sherman A1 Apr 2019 #2
But watch anyway how Biden gets Franken'ed, even by posters here. DontBooVote Apr 2019 #3
Franken-stoned. Again. lagomorph777 Apr 2019 #15
Yes, while the Evil is just fine with their guy grabbing women by the pussy and ogling teen girls. DontBooVote Apr 2019 #16
False equivalencies abound nt ALBliberal Apr 2019 #4
Indeed tymorial Apr 2019 #5
it's easier for republicans because they don't care about women. unblock Apr 2019 #6
+1 Kurt V. Apr 2019 #8
I won't vote for him in the primary. He's been in trouble for this kind Squinch Apr 2019 #7
Yes, you have it straight. DFW Apr 2019 #9
Yep, that's basically it and until anyone from our side even comes close to smirkymonkey Apr 2019 #10
She doesn't have to but, watoos Apr 2019 #11
I do not trust KG one bit. MicaelS Apr 2019 #13
Then again Trumpocalypse Apr 2019 #25
Why her? MicaelS Apr 2019 #27
Because Gillibrand is more closely associated Trumpocalypse Apr 2019 #30
And he(Trump) bragged about dating his own daughters! imanamerican63 Apr 2019 #12
Double standard there, for sure. PatrickforO Apr 2019 #14
IOKIYAR 0rganism Apr 2019 #17
Just the latest BLATANT case of the double standard. pdsimdars Apr 2019 #18
Yes Republicans have a low standard Trumpocalypse Apr 2019 #23
we do handmade34 Apr 2019 #28
I'm a female, and I could never run for any public office. Honeycombe8 Apr 2019 #19
K & R BadgerMom Apr 2019 #20
I have made this point before. Collimator Apr 2019 #21
Very well said nt Trumpocalypse Apr 2019 #24
Don't forget that many of the teenage girls were naked. MarianJack Apr 2019 #22
So Democrats should have Trumpocalypse Apr 2019 #26
She May Think She's Helping Sanders Me. Apr 2019 #29
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