General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: So let me get this straight: [View all]Collimator
(2,068 posts)People are conflating social behavior with sexual behavior. Part of the problem is that many aspects of social behavior have been dictated by gender roles and to many, gender equals sex. (That is not "sex" in terms of actions but rather identity.)
In past mainstream American culture, a man could kiss a woman on the cheek in greeting during an initial introduction under certain circumstances. Issues of age and rank would also come into play. A man kissing another man under identical circumstances would raise eyebrows and the word, "inappropriate" might indeed, be mentioned.
The very word, inappropriate, is becoming highly charged in the public discourse because of this problem. If Biden had worn Birkenstock sandals to a State dinner, that would be inappropriate. If he had worn ass-less chaps that would have been [s]hilarious[/s]-- I mean indecent.
The #Metoo Movement is critical because it addresses hidden systematic abuses of power framed within a sexual context. Like any human endeavor, it can be flawed by differing interpretations and sensibilities. We must take care to distinguish behavior that would be considered criminal and indecent were it conducted in public from behavior that is socially inept, annoyingly presumptuous or "merely" patronizing.
As mentioned before, in "Olden Times" a "gentleman" might kiss a "lady" on the cheek upon first meeting her. A kiss on the mouth would have earned him a slap to the face from the woman or more likely a stern, restraining hand to the shoulder by the damsel's male protector. He would not have been arrested (I think), but he would have been socially sanctioned from his peer group.
Times have changed, and now it seems people are clamoring from social sanctions against those who kiss a woman's cheek. I can applaud this change, because many of the ingrained attitudes that have kept women back were laying right below the surface of many of the social "niceties" of the past. As the change filters through our 21st Century, we can be patient enough to not pillory those men who were raised with mid-20th Century social standards.
Such men are not sexual predators and should not be grouped with men whose actions were clearly criminal. Weinstein groped and exposed himself to people who did not consent to any form of sexual action. These actions range from sexual assault to indecent exposure. Rose appeared nude in front of employees and colleagues who, again, offered no invitation or gave consent to unclothed condition. This is indecent exposure. Lauer had a mechanism in his office that allowed him to lock people in the room with him. Even if all he did was show vacation slides, that is essentially kidnapping.
None of those behaviors would be considered appropriate in a civilized society, much less in our modern one. Those men understood entirely well that their actions were outside acceptable standards, which is why they veiled with their power.
Biden and others committed their deeds--"mis"-- or other wise in public. They have been challenged to see their patterns in a new light by differing standards and they are capable of change.