In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President, Who Would Win and Why?

[Bucky]

47. Subthread: The Unofficial "FIRST TO FALL" List.

#1. Dandy Chet Arthur. Pu-lease.

#2. Jefferson. Yeah, I know he had reach, but the man was a major klutz. Once broke his leg hopping over a fence while trying to impress a chick... and it was in Paris. Sorrry, but you don't bring a knife to gun fight... and you don't bring an absent minded professor to a knife fight.

#3. Jerry Ford. Trips over his own shoe laces and falls on his own knife. He's only #3 because it'll take him a while to realize he's dead.

#4. Jim Buchannan. Curls up in a ball to cry, so it takes a while for someone to reach a vulnerable killstroke spot.

#5. Woody Wilson. Another damned professor. Sheesh. Teddy makes a bee-line for Woody to finish frat boy off fast.

#6. Hoover. Surprisingly mean for a practicing Quaker, but not the fastest reflexes. (C.f., his response to the Depression)