In a Mass Knife Fight to the Death Between Every American President, Who Would Win and Why?

[RevStPatrick]

109. I'd like to talk about Teddy Roosevelt for a moment...

He really is one of my top 5 or so favorite presidents.
He was a fascinating character, and a very unusual and interesting human being.
I've read the Edmund Morris trilogy, among other things, so I do know a little about him.
However...

He was a New York Dandy.
I can say that, because I'm a bit of a New York Dandy myself.
Takes one to know one, or something.
Actually, I'm more of an old hipster than a dandy, but we're all pretty similar.

Teddy killed small animals.
And big ones too.
He did it out of scientific curiosity, not out of machismo.
Yes, he was tough, the kind of guy who would give a speech after getting shot in the chest.
His "toughness" was a response to being a sickly child.

And here's the part that will likely piss off my fellow TR fans:

The "rough ride" up San Juan Hill was the late 19th century version of Dubya's "Mission Accomplished" landing on that aircraft carrier.
This outfit:



was TR's version of Dubya's flight suit codpiece.



The whole Rough Rider adventure was for show.
The Spanish-American War was the Iraq War of its day, complete with media mogul liar, Hearst = Murdoch. The Cuban part was the equivalent of Shock and Awe, and the pulling down of the Saddam statue. The Philippines part was like what happened after Saddam.

Sorry, Teddy was brilliant but flawed.
I suppose my point here, in summing up, is this:

Andrew Jackson would totally and completely kick Teddy's ass in a knife fight!