Maryland family asked to leave Outback Steakhouse because son with special needs was too loud

[MineralMan]

10. Well, I am of two minds on stuff like this.

On one hand, I understand parent wanting to take their child with them for a restaurant meal. On the other, I've been a restaurant patron when someone's child threw a screaming fit. The situation with a 4-year-old child with a health problem is different, but has the same impact on others nearby. If it continues, their meals are ruined.

The restaurant owner, on the other hand, has a different dilemma. Odds are that some of the other tables have regular customers eating in the restaurant. Those regulars are the owner's bread and butter. The family with the loud child are almost certainly not regular customers. So, what does the restaurant owner do? It's a problem for him or her.

The parents of the child with a disorder that leads to loud, disruptive behavior know the situation well. They took a chance by bringing the child with them for a meal at the restaurant. The child is frustrated or can't control the behavior at age 4. If I were the parent, I'd say, "Well, this isn't working out this evening." Then, I'd quietly leave the restaurant with the child with one of the parents staying in the restaurant to explain and pay whatever is owed. That's what I'd do. Then, maybe a year or two later, I'd try again, when the child is a little older and has more experience in such situations.

It's an experiment, raising a child with some sort of health problem that can result in disruptive behavior. Sometimes the experiment works out OK. Sometimes it doesn't. All of it changes over time.

Parents with a child have to shop in the supermarket, so a shrieking toddler is not unheard of in that situation. The parent needn't take the child out of the store, because other shoppers can move away from the disturbance, which probably won't last all that long. In a restaurant, however, or a theater, or any situation where people can't escape from the disturbance, the onus is on the parents to remove the child, either temporarily or altogether. That's the equation.

It's not really a disability issue. Children under the age of 5 can raise a ruckus, even if they don't have any disability. The rules are the same, though. If the child's behavior is denying others who cannot escape a peaceful experience, then the parents need to remove the child if the child can't be calmed down. That's only fair.

Now, someone is sure to tell me I'm an old curmudgeon, which I am. But there it is. The rules of common courtesy demand that parents not inflict their children's tantrums or lack of the ability to control their outburst on others. It's simple.