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blm

(114,658 posts)

12. You'll get through this knowing you handled it right as your reasoning kicked in.

Reply to cannabis_flower (Original post)

Sun Aug 18, 2019, 04:27 PM

Aug 2019

Be proud of that. The cycle of life continues.

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My abuser died today [View all] cannabis_flower Aug 2019 OP

I am sorry for your pain, but you did NOT cause this! ProudLib72 Aug 2019 #1

I know but cannabis_flower Aug 2019 #2

You had/have every right to hate him and wish him ill ProudLib72 Aug 2019 #6

Feeling bad just says you have a good heart and a conscience unlike your cousin. chowder66 Aug 2019 #17

He caused you enough pain. Codeine Aug 2019 #3

You feel conflicted, that is all... because he was your cousin... but your memory of him isn't secondwind Aug 2019 #4

Regardless of any religious dogma, disease is not a punishment, but a medical phenomenon. hlthe2b Aug 2019 #5

You did nothing wrong. Ever. I believe you irisblue Aug 2019 #7

He was bad but the feelings you are having show that he did not damage the goodness in you. I in2herbs Aug 2019 #8

Indifference is OK. Brainfodder Aug 2019 #9

When my abuser died, I only felt release and relief. no_hypocrisy Aug 2019 #10

pancreatic cancer is a very bad way to go. good. EveHammond13 Aug 2019 #11

You'll get through this knowing you handled it right as your reasoning kicked in. blm Aug 2019 #12

Your journey on this is not over yet lunatica Aug 2019 #13

That is a great post. Thank you for writing that. yardwork Aug 2019 #43

. lunatica Aug 2019 #46

I had a similar thing happen long ago jberryhill Aug 2019 #14

Try to feel neutral. It's entirely normal to feel some guilt when someone you might wish dead... TreasonousBastard Aug 2019 #15

Well... cannabis_flower Aug 2019 #41

It's important that you don't feel alone Niagara Aug 2019 #16

You should feel no guilt for wishing anything bad on your abuser WestLosAngelesGal Aug 2019 #18

Sorry, but I'll be blunt... ihaveaquestion Aug 2019 #19

He didn't get pancreatic cancer because you wished it. Aristus Aug 2019 #20

I would say this same to you. Retain no guilt. sprinkleeninow Aug 2019 #51

you have no responsibility to feel anything handmade34 Aug 2019 #21

Maybe you feel like crying out of relief - it's finally over. Vinca Aug 2019 #22

I'm glad you're the one still here! B Stieg Aug 2019 #23

. Guy Whitey Corngood Aug 2019 #24

Good riddance. extvbroadcaster Aug 2019 #25

I was a kid Marthe48 Aug 2019 #26

You survived. You survived. You survived. Hekate Aug 2019 #27

That's a good point to consider. lpbk2713 Aug 2019 #36

At 12 thought I was unique, his only victim. Fast forward 20 years, he laid hands on my daughter Hekate Aug 2019 #39

I'm so sorry for the pain you feel as as a woman.... lapucelle Aug 2019 #28

Please forgive yourself vlyons Aug 2019 #29

It is stunning how cruel children can be SallyHemmings Aug 2019 #30

I'm sorry, I would have wished ill of him too Demonaut Aug 2019 #31

Don't know how to feel? Ligyron Aug 2019 #32

im glad he is dead. he probably assaulted other people also JI7 Aug 2019 #33

He got a cruel disease to match his own cruelty, that's called karma not wishful thinking. Canoe52 Aug 2019 #34

His pain was not a result of anything you did. badhair77 Aug 2019 #35

You DIDN'T cause it. And, pancreatic cancer is one of the worst. So there's that. FailureToCommunicate Aug 2019 #37

Wishing Him Suffering? JGug1 Aug 2019 #38

You were his victim... remember that. Talitha Aug 2019 #40

Your wish that he suffer was understandable. Blue_true Aug 2019 #42

I couldn't possibly cannabis_flower Aug 2019 #52

Thank you for sharing this. marked50 Aug 2019 #44

Please forgive yourself; over and over if you have to. Maraya1969 Aug 2019 #45

Cry if you need to MustLoveBeagles Aug 2019 #47

Very sorry that you went through that. SweetieD Aug 2019 #48

First of all, it's ok to cry.... Sogo Aug 2019 #49

"I have never killed any man, but... sir pball Aug 2019 #50

he sounds like a real asshole orleans Aug 2019 #53

I am sorry shenmue Aug 2019 #54

First of all, I've thought of you a few times today.... VarryOn Aug 2019 #55