As McConnell "coordinates with the White House," the truth could be much stranger.

[Moostache]

6. The transcript was released on his call with the boss...

Vladimir: " Mitch, are you there?"

Moscow Mitch: "Yes sir, I am here and hope you are doing well..."

Vladimir: "yeah, yeah...I'd be better if 2 scoops would shut up for 5 minutes, but we are OK, here is what I need from you.."

Moscow Mitch: "should I get my knee pads and a towel again?"

Vladimir: "No, that was only to show you who owns who here, now shut up and listen..."

Moscow Mitch: "I am sorry sir."

Vladimir: "Just be silent, not sorry you worthless gasbag of southern fired shit....now, here's what you are to do. I want an announcement that Idiot's impeachment trial is going to be a coordinated event between your Senate and White House. This is going to make you all look like complete fools in the international community and history books, but there will be new checks deposited into all your accounts if this is done before end of year..."

Moscow Mitch: "Consider it DONE, sir! Should I tell 2 scoops or..."

Vladimir: " Nyet...I will handle him myself..."