Profiles in Perfidy, VIII. . . . Please come CAPTION PresiDented Trump!!!

[Johonny]

2. I stand here today to talk about the threat to our national country. I'm talking about Nancy Pelosi

Now my huge electoral college victory should be enough in ensure you that I can handle any and all situations including the one we are in now. The 409s of our Americans have never been higher than right now today. Tomorrow they might be even higher thanks to my incredible very good response to this threat. A very big threat. A threat Nancy Pelosi and the CNN don't want you to not panic about. They don't like your 409s. They think little Mike Bloomberg and Bernie Sanders and all the radical left wing looneys will socialize your dog and it will be fine. It won't be. It won't. But it will be fine if I'm in charge. And I'm in charge. I am. I'm on top of it. This threat. This threat is totally handled. So much handling. Very good top people, smart!, are working on it. I got an uncle, very big in the nuclear, SMART, I got people like that. This threat, the threat will be very handled. And now I give you Mike Pence to tell you about this threat and all the incredible things he's doing as my emergence threat response guy to fix it. Take it away MIKE!

<Pence> Wait, what?