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In reply to the discussion: Is anybody else still struggling with the fact that this is *real*? [View all]mnhtnbb
(31,416 posts)after a week of doing nothing but the same thing every day and watching the numbers climb exponentially.
I am in the high risk group by age and having asthma. I live on the 17th floor of a high rise apartment building and have a dog that has to be walked several times/day. Although about half the time no one else is on the elevator with us, that's not always the case. I feel as though I'm playing Russian roulette when there is someone else on the elevator with us. When I take her out and see someone coming down the middle of the sidewalk towards us who looks like they won't move over, I cross the street.
I've only made one short 10 minute trip into a store in the last week. Probably won't go in again for at least another week.
My will is up to date but I'm planning to write a page of instructions for my oldest son, who is the executor. I'm going to put legal documents all in one file so he can easily find the information he'll need to give for a death certificate. I've been meaning to do that for some time, and I guess now is the time.
I read, play on the computer, watch movies, walk the dog, text or talk with friends. My life is pretty much what it was as a widow living alone before this, but now there are no nights out to the ballet, or symphony, or musical theater, or movie theater, or coffee/lunches with friends. No visits with my son who lives 30 minutes away. I suspect that a trip I had planned for late May will be canceled. I ended up coming home from a birthday trip to Bonaire a week early. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since I flew home and I have no symptoms. So, at least that's something positive.
The joy of my life has really diminished. I am grateful to be able to weather this financially. Most of us will get through this, but some will not. There will be DU'ers who won't make it. One of my instructions to my son will be how to sign on to my account and tell people that I am gone. It's a sobering thought to really face mortality and leave a plan to help family when one is gone.
It's a very tough reality.