Welcome, belatedly, to DU! I am about 15 years younger than you, but even I sometimes think at my age that it might not be so bad if I got Covid-19 and perished from it. I am getting kind of tired of it all.
I look at the future and I can't see any positive outcome at all. Even though I am white, I just can't stand to see the racism and hatred that is going on in this society and I believe so much of it is because Trump has given his cult a free pass to unleash their hatred on everyone they despise - minorities, immigrants, LGBTQ's, women, liberals, people wearing masks, etc. It just seems to get worse every day.
I live for every little bit of good news, but it always seems to be eclipsed by all the horrible things that Trump and his fellow republicans are doing to this country on a daily basis. Even if we should win in November, I feel it will take longer than we have left to restore this country to sanity and decency. Sorry to be such a downer. I'm not always this pessimistic, you just happened to catch me in a mood.
Anyway, I definitely hear you. Glad to see you here! 
Oh, btw, I am a woman. 
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