Handicapped children are punishments for previous abortions, says Repug.

[Brother Buzz]

12. Juanita Jean has a wicked cool pen. I first started following her during the Tom DeLay years.

JUANITA JEAN HEROWNSELF – Juanita is owner of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., Fort Bend’s only professional political organization. Her main qualification to comment on Texas politics is that she owns pink cowboy boots. Not just one pair, but several. Most likely, you don’t.

Through diligent research, it has been discovered that Juanita is the daughter of Judge Clyve T. “ByGawd” Bell and his bride, the lovely and talented Lillie Jean Bell, who was known in a four county area for her unique ability to lasso while singing opera.

Juanita graduated from Elite Beauty School in Del Rio, Texas, (whose motto is: We never heard of you either) first in her class, and after a brief stint with the Buck Pochek Professional Waterskiing and Ring-O’-Fire Extravaganza, she settled down in Richmond. Her first husband, Bubba Hank, died in a semi-tragic Nascar pit stop accident. Juanita has found no good reason to remarry.