EXCLUSIVE: Trump campaign releases list of pre-approved debate moderators. [View all]
Yesterday, the Donald Trump presidential campaign announced that Trump would be willing to appear for four separate debates between him and presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden. If Trump follows through, this would represent an increase of the typical three head-to-head Presidential debates that have taken place in recent election years past.
However, this offer by the Trump campaign was made subject to several conditions. The most notable was that the moderators of these debates had to be agreed upon from a pre-approved lists. The Trump campaign did not immediately make public their list of these proposed moderators. However, in a DU exclusive, we have obtained a copy of the list and for the first time ever, will be sharing these names in the interests of consideration.
So, without further adieu, the proposed moderators from the Trump campaign include (in no particular order):
Sean Hannity
Tucker Carlson
Laura Ingrham
Mark Levin
Dan Bongino
"Judge" Jeaninne Pirro*
Rudy Giuliani
Chanel Rion
Chanel Rion's twin sister
Chanel Rion and her twin sister, together
James Woods
Natalia Veselnitskaya
A peacefully sleeping Ben Carson ("Shh! Don't wake him!" )
Cesar Sayoc a.k.a. "The MAGAbomber"
Roger Stone**
The Ghost of Rush Limbaugh
Ivanka Trump!
Donald Trump Jr.
...Eric Trump***
Those other Trump children...you know, What's-Her-Face and/or Who's-His-Name
Jared Kushner, fresh off of having read a "Debate Moderation for Dummies" handbook
Melanie Trump
Carpe Donktum
That "Blacks for Trump" Cult Leader dude
Mr. Magorium and his Wondrous Emporium
The musical duo of Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman
Tom Fitton, wearing a most dazzling golf shirt!
The human incarnation of a Ben Garrison cartoon
A bald eagle wearing an American Flag bandana
Any member of the Duggar family, even that one really creepy one
Glenn Beck's blackboard from 2010 (minus Glenn Beck)
An entire webpage comprised entirely of Taboola clickbait advertisements
Canadian rap sensation Chuggo
A bottle of hydroxychlorquine
An entire rack of MAGA hats with a sign reading, "CLEARANCE!!! MUST GO!!! 85% off!!!"
..And finally...
John Barron****!
*Please refer to the approved beverage list in the attached rider
**Pardon pending
***Reserved sighing
****Please allow for additional two hours of debate time to account for necessary pauses between all questions and answers.