Hey, Dotard! [View all]

[NanceGreggs]

There’s a sure-fire way to pack every rally to the rafters from here on. Just label the next round of events as your Farewell Tour – a celebration of the fact that your lyin’, lazy lardass will soon be gone! I guarantee that even the largest venues won’t have an empty seat in sight, and the overflow crowds will be enormous.

Of course, some adjustments will need to be made. You won’t require a mic, because no one will be listening to a word you say. Besides, your bullshit rhetoric will be drowned-out by shouts of ”NO more years!” and ”Lock YOU up!”

But you can just pretend that they all adore you – the same way you pretend you’re actually a “pResident”.