And, no, I did not seek another primary care doctor. He's been our family doctor for close to two decades.
We fired our last 2 doctors. One misdiagnosed a classic fungal infection - leaving our daughter with permanent scarring on her hands. (He also wanted everyone to keep a Cipro prescription on hand to self-medicate for anthrax poisoning.) When my daughter fractured her leg near the growth plate, the only doctor in-network to treat this particular fracture was an adult orthopedic surgeon. When we suggested she needed a pediatric one (because of the involvement of the growth plate), she said "He is willing to treat pediatric patients." I insisted on one of two things (1) she estalish not that he was willing to treat pediatric patients - but that he was competent at it OR (2) she intervene with my insurance company to seek approval for treatment by an out-of-network pediatric orthopedic surgeon. She refused both. (Again, that was not the only conflict we had with her, but it was the last straw).
We asked our insurance agent to recommend someone other clients were generally happy with - and he recommended our current doctor.
Because our family is uncommon (an adult same-gender female couple with a {then} preteen daughter), we made an appointment to check him out to make sure he would not let any personal bias interfere with medical care. He indicated there was no problem. In the course of conversations, I learned that he goes to the same church as a partner in a law firm that offered me a job and insisted on "Christian" mediation. I didn't have to be Christian - but I had to agree to start there for resolution of any disputes. I didn't take the job - but this doctor has been our doctor since then.
The only time his personal bias has come close to interfering with medical care is when my daughter needed counseling that included dealing with sex addiction (I don't think he knew the details - I believe she just told him it was depression). He referred her to a Christian counseling service. I checked them out, told my daughter who they were - and let her make the decision.
Nearly every visit we have political conversations. I get the impression that, although he is unlikely to change his mind, he is genuinely interested in what I have to say. The most bizarre conversation I had with him was when Palin was the VP candidate - that one took place while he was giving me my annual pap test. It was just odd.
I figure it's good for what ails him to be in regular contact with our family. He sees a stable lesbian family. He respects us (and that's not just lip service), and genuinely likes us. Exposure can't hurt.
That may not be your gig - it is ours. We've always seen ourselves in teaching roles because we can afford to be public, when many in our circumstances. It has always been our position that same gender marriage (for example) would be welcomed once no one could any longer say, "I don't know any lesbians or gays." We reached that tipping point more quickly than I imagined - but that is what did the trick when Edie Windsor became a beloved, grieving, grandmother figure - rather than a deviant.
On the other hand - if I discovered he was incompetent, or unwilling to work with our insurance company to obtain appropriate care, he'd be gone in a heartbeat.
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