George Takei is usually nice to everybody

[calimary]

26. "I now pronounce you man and maid."

When our daughter got married, I gently but firmly leaned on the young man they chose to officiate at the wedding. During the rehearsal, he said "I now pronounce you man and wife." Which I heard, as I always have, as "man and thing." I made a beeline for him as soon as I saw he wasn't with a bunch of people and pulled him aside and discreetly said - "Hi! MOTHER of the BRIDE here! "Just one correction, please. It's HUSBAND and wife. NOT 'man and wife.' She's NOT a thing. And he's not an owner." I was polite. He was receptive. And I thanked him. And when it counted, he delivered! "I now pronounce you husband and wife."

But dammit, I've lived too long and taken too much shit and fought too hard to break through and make it in a man's industry (broadcasting, back when it wasn't something women were into yet) to let that be done to my daughter, especially when I'm in the exalted position of MOTHER OF THE BRIDE and I have standing here (and the fact that her dad and I are PAYING FOR ALL OF THIS - including the nice tip to the officiant). I figured I'm entitled to throw my weight around in that case. She's NOT a thing. NO daughter of mine is a mere THING of which a man takes ownership. And that goes double for my granddaughters, DAMMIT.

And btw, by now I think I'm entitled to be an old crank whenever I damn well feel it's necessary!