OKAY I literally just got up, its ll:23 am and its DARK RED OUTSIDE

[Brother Buzz]

31. I call it the North Wind in the Sacramento Valley because...

Mount Diablo is due south of me and it makes no sense when the wind is coming from the north

Here's about all you need to know about offshore winds, and it's arguably the best opening paragraph in ANY piece of literature, bar none:

There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge. - Raymond Chandler, Red Wind: A Collection of Short Stories