General Discussion

stevenleser

(32,886 posts)

36. Anyone should have offered up their seat. Men, women, etc.

Tue Jan 10, 2012, 02:13 PM

Jan 2012

I realize the bottom of the OP has an unfortunate additional reference to being 'gentlemanly', but that isnt really the point of the OP or article.

I've been on both sides of this. I will usually give up my seat on the subway to anyone looking like they are having a hard time. But if I am not feeling well myself, I wont give up my seat.

True story, I had just ran my first 10K as a young teen and was sitting in a NYC bus, feeling like I was going to die. An elderly lady entered and shortly thereafter another elderly woman attempted to upbraid me and said "Hey fella, why dont you give the lady your seat". To which I replied, "I ordinarily would, but as I just ran a mini marathon and am in some distress, I am currently more preoccupied with whether or not I need to go to the hospital."

All I received back in response was raised eyebrows and silence.

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Highlight:

Show your manners to pregnant ladies [View all] The Straight Story Jan 2012 OP

Why was she on a bus MattBaggins Jan 2012 #1

And barefoot too liberal N proud Jan 2012 #3

well my question is why did she spread her legs in the first place! Whisp Jan 2012 #35

. Devil_Fish Jan 2012 #131

Shouldnt they inquire if the father is married to her? That she isnt on some form of gov. assist? WingDinger Jan 2012 #2

If you had read it the author of the story was writing from personnel experience.. snooper2 Jan 2012 #11

Maybe they read this blog rawtribe Jan 2012 #4

Entitlement mentality. Lance_Boyle Jan 2012 #5

This has to do with empathy, not feminism obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #105

You may be sure that you will have a seat if I am MineralMan Jan 2012 #6

Agree - and I am a woman TBF Jan 2012 #31

Same here xmas74 Jan 2012 #78

I deal with chronic pain... badgerpup Jan 2012 #103

The little things are what keep us civilized. xmas74 Jan 2012 #125

Ditto for me woolldog Jan 2012 #124

Nice to hear! phylny Jan 2012 #134

Same here. JNelson6563 Jan 2012 #135

We were raised to be polite respectful of others HillWilliam Jan 2012 #147

Yes, the very basics of courtesy seem to be forgotten MineralMan Jan 2012 #153

... or just women in general. DutchLiberal Jan 2012 #160

LOL snooper2 Jan 2012 #7

And the same day you write it, someone will write about the asshole with the crying kid in the aisle The Straight Story Jan 2012 #8

"Stupid man, doesn't know how to control his child" snooper2 Jan 2012 #16

You can't have it both ways.. you can't expect us to give up our seats and then expect us to treat ddeclue Jan 2012 #9

Uhhh, I am not bashing anyone The Straight Story Jan 2012 #12

What you fixing? My wife won't bring me anything for lunch.. snooper2 Jan 2012 #17

Cheeseburger with swiss cheese, green peppers and onions The Straight Story Jan 2012 #18

Sounds good, for some reason that makes me want Schlotzsky's snooper2 Jan 2012 #28

It has nothing to do with gender politics.. left coaster Jan 2012 #15

Men in Mexico sure as heck can. I like your post. a la izquierda Jan 2012 #20

Of course it is about gender politics. You are either equal or you are not. ddeclue Jan 2012 #26

what a silly thing to say MattBaggins Jan 2012 #33

a cast implies something that is an accident. A pregnancy is a choice. ddeclue Jan 2012 #46

It's being a choice is irrelevant MattBaggins Jan 2012 #51

No actually it is totally relevant. You made a decision you live with the consequences. ddeclue Jan 2012 #54

Irrelevant MattBaggins Jan 2012 #60

Yes DU IS the right place for me.. Perhaps it is not for you if you believe women are fragile and ddeclue Jan 2012 #67

This is potentially the dumbest argument I've seen on DU NeedleCast Jan 2012 #146

Pregnancy is not a disease AngryAmish Jan 2012 #152

Oh brother! Wind Dancer Jan 2012 #167

You do not have a clue.. likesmountains 52 Jan 2012 #119

Have you ever had a broken limb? (I doubt it, if you're this obtuse) Quantess Jan 2012 #138

Make that an elderly person who is unsteady on their feet. I guess being elderly is a choice also? uppityperson Jan 2012 #53

being elderly is not being pregnant. One has a choice in being pregnant. One does not in getting ddeclue Jan 2012 #55

If you were sitting and saw an elderly woman unsteady on her feet, would you let her have uppityperson Jan 2012 #58

Not if she was pregnant MattBaggins Jan 2012 #62

This message was self-deleted by its author uppityperson Jan 2012 #64

re read and deleted previous comment. Too funny. uppityperson Jan 2012 #66

Are you for real? Klukie Jan 2012 #61

no I don't but perhaps you ought to. ddeclue Jan 2012 #68

Yeah, it implies they got drunk and jumped off a roof obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #107

Anyone should have offered up their seat. Men, women, etc. stevenleser Jan 2012 #36

of course it is.. this is one in a series of man bashing threads running around on DU today ddeclue Jan 2012 #47

Are you on crack? Klukie Jan 2012 #63

Sensitive Dorian Gray Jan 2012 #113

Oh, boo-hoo. Deal with it, 'cause liberalhistorian Jan 2012 #116

I haven't seen sexist threads on DU. But man-bashing threads? Dozens! DutchLiberal Jan 2012 #161

That's absolutely ridiculous. smirkymonkey Jan 2012 #38

oh that's SO lame.. throwing out the "hate" card... I'm just taking you at your word about being ddeclue Jan 2012 #44

I would, too. liberalhistorian Jan 2012 #117

Same here! I hold doors open for people, men women, it doesn't matter. It's just considerate. Quantess Jan 2012 #137

no - it's about swollen ankles, dana_b Jan 2012 #42

They don't HAVE to carry it around. They certainly have a choice. ddeclue Jan 2012 #45

so what? it's called compassion for a fellow human being dana_b Jan 2012 #59

I wouldn't bother with him anymore. liberalhistorian Jan 2012 #118

you are right dana_b Jan 2012 #120

How do they have a choice? obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #108

I'm thinking about abortion blueamy66 Jan 2012 #141

Your answer doesn't even make any sense obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #143

OR....they should use birth control or think about their choices blueamy66 Jan 2012 #144

i have a condom baby, my youngest. my bad. but, i love him so. and i would go into labor standing seabeyond Jan 2012 #149

I hope your mother was treated compassionately while she was pregnant with you. polly7 Jan 2012 #155

I was adopted. blueamy66 Jan 2012 #162

What? polly7 Jan 2012 #164

So you think no woman was pregnant with you? muriel_volestrangler Jan 2012 #165

YOU are the only one making it about this obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #104

You are either courteous or you are not. badgerpup Jan 2012 #106

Bullshit. It's not about gender at all... Violet_Crumble Jan 2012 #130

This is what I am trying to teach my kids. TBF Jan 2012 #29

Great post. Jamastiene Jan 2012 #94

Post removed Post removed Jan 2012 #37

the "whiner in the OP" is a man dana_b Jan 2012 #43

Stupidest response in the thread award goes to..... MattBaggins Jan 2012 #57

I have. At Disney World. Jennicut Jan 2012 #65

Wait, I am a whiner? In what way? The Straight Story Jan 2012 #82

Female entitlement mentality? Nice MRA talking point... chrisa Jan 2012 #92

How is this female entitlement? obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #109

This has nothing to do with equality/gender wars. It has to do with common courtesy. yellowcanine Jan 2012 #30

Really? MattBaggins Jan 2012 #32

I'm a woman and I would give up a seat to a pregnant woman or anyone who needs it csziggy Jan 2012 #34

hmm.. very "gentlemanly" of you... ddeclue Jan 2012 #52

Oh my, someone's mommy didn't teach them about being polite... all american girl Jan 2012 #39

Post removed Post removed Jan 2012 #50

I wasn't whining all american girl Jan 2012 #75

look on the bright side Bodhi BloodWave Jan 2012 #132

You don't get it, do you? It's about manners. chrisa Jan 2012 #85

Series! Why help anyone who might need it, why show any courtesy towards anyone? uppityperson Jan 2012 #40

this thread isn't about women not being "gentlemenly" now is it? ddeclue Jan 2012 #48

It is about being courteous to others, helping those who might need it. Sorry uppityperson Jan 2012 #49

Yes, it is, if you read the entire articke obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #110

How is the suggestion of giving up one's seat PotatoChip Jan 2012 #70

If it were a gentleman who was obviously sick or in discomfort xmas74 Jan 2012 #79

Wow, what a joy of a human being you must be to be around. Arugula Latte Jan 2012 #80

Nice view of women you have there. How callous of you. chrisa Jan 2012 #88

So the elderly are "less than equal"? Somebody with a walking cast on their foot? gkhouston Jan 2012 #89

Unfuckingbelievable. CrispyQ Jan 2012 #95

Not the first time today obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #102

It's not about gender, it's about a medical condition ecstatic Jan 2012 #97

I don't think men were singled out were they? treestar Jan 2012 #99

It is the rigfht thing to do obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #101

Dude Dorian Gray Jan 2012 #110

lol La Lioness Priyanka Jan 2012 #123

I don't understand "have it both ways" or "male-bashing" from this nadine_mn Jan 2012 #129

Seriously? phylny Jan 2012 #136

I imagine many people believe that to give up one's seat for someone, LanternWaste Jan 2012 #145

I don't think men were being targeted here pipi_k Jan 2012 #154

This man would like to know why you're being a dick... DutchLiberal Jan 2012 #158

I don't care for the "gentleman" tag for this kind of thoughtful behavior.. left coaster Jan 2012 #10

me too and yes.. but every day Viva_La_Revolution Jan 2012 #21

This message was self-deleted by its author Bunny Jan 2012 #23

no, gentlemanly is directed specifically at men. provis99 Jan 2012 #76

This message was self-deleted by its author Bunny Jan 2012 #77

women are not gentlemen. provis99 Jan 2012 #127

This message was self-deleted by its author Bunny Jan 2012 #151

It's the connotation in the word 'gentleman'. badgerpup Jan 2012 #114

I don't understand why this is said to be a madmom Jan 2012 #13

Agree. I give up my seat for pregnant women, older folks and disabled. kiranon Jan 2012 #25

I tried to teach this to my kids when they were young ... frazzled Jan 2012 #14

This message was self-deleted by its author Bunny Jan 2012 #19

Well, don't ignore me until after the thread is 'over', not sure you would be able to see it then The Straight Story Jan 2012 #22

This message was self-deleted by its author Bunny Jan 2012 #24

+1 uppityperson Jan 2012 #41

This message was self-deleted by its author Bunny Jan 2012 #84

I never ignore xmas74 Jan 2012 #81

This message was self-deleted by its author Bunny Jan 2012 #83

Disgusting, disturbing people. xmas74 Jan 2012 #86

This message was self-deleted by its author Bunny Jan 2012 #87

I still give up my seat in crowded places, xmas74 Jan 2012 #91

~lol. CrispyQ Jan 2012 #96

lol obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #112

You don't have better things to do? blueamy66 Jan 2012 #142

After I had my first baby was very eye-opening as well - TBF Jan 2012 #27

Going to the grocery store with a 6 month old and a toddler that was one and a half Jennicut Jan 2012 #56

This morning I did my bi-weekly "big" grocery shop TBF Jan 2012 #72

And you learn to love the Americans with Disabilities Act. Nye Bevan Jan 2012 #71

That's a good point - TBF Jan 2012 #73

+1. I never fully appreciated how many barriers there are, even with the ADA, gkhouston Jan 2012 #93

Back in the 'olden' days, it used to be called 'common courtesy' or 'civility' MerryBlooms Jan 2012 #69

The concept of common courtesy should be passed on from generation to generation. AtomicKitten Jan 2012 #74

Been there!! I agree. Sparkly Jan 2012 #90

Well, sure. Because being pregnant on a bus is male-bashing, doncha know. Habibi Jan 2012 #98

OK maybe she chose to be pregnant treestar Jan 2012 #100

Oh, but you forget -- there IS a "choice" -- downwardly_mobile Jan 2012 #121

So February 22 is International Be a Gentleman Day cherokeeprogressive Jan 2012 #115

Women are expected to be ladies EVERY day obamanut2012 Jan 2012 #122

What kind of gentlemanly behavior is her family showing by not giving her a ride? JVS Jan 2012 #126

OT I know, but what is up Lunacee2012 Jan 2012 #128

That's a good question. nt redqueen Jan 2012 #133

Th only reasoning is because of the mention "gentlemanly" in the article Quantess Jan 2012 #139

I'm disabled and I've had similar things happen....I can't count the doors slammed in my face tpsbmam Jan 2012 #140

What a bunch of mean people have come out of the woodwork on DU today! distantearlywarning Jan 2012 #148

When I was pregnant, I never expected anyone to give up HappyMe Jan 2012 #150

The only caution I would advise pipi_k Jan 2012 #156

A man should *always* offer his seat to a woman, pregnant or not... DutchLiberal Jan 2012 #157

if i was preg and got jolted, it could result in harm to baby. so i would probably take an offered seabeyond Jan 2012 #159

What else do you expect in Australia? Charm? Wit? Grace? The ability to play cricket? truebrit71 Jan 2012 #163

Not to mention against the current form of the teams at the moment muriel_volestrangler Jan 2012 #166

They are playing the same Indian team that England destroyed 4-0 to take the number one ranking... truebrit71 Jan 2012 #168

Kick Swede Jul 2023 #169