OK, DUers- I need advice, and this is not a political post

[lostnfound]

41. "Keeping your self healthy and safe allows you to do a better job helping others"

Like putting oxygen mask on before putting one on the child next to you on an airplane. Lock the idea in your mind, see the connection: by staying strong, you can help them in the long run. You are better able to help them by NOT having your own house ruined, NOT being in a position of anger because they let your cat out...

Defending your own space is job #1 from which you will be better positioned to make choices of how you CAN help.

Some choices may be large expenses in the short run (like rehab or intense therapy) and others may be long term help of a smaller nature (like gifting them one ongoing critical expense whether large or small, like health insurance or phone bill).
In my opinion, also showing love in a small way the long run (I used to have a recurring delivery of cat food for a friend’s cats so at least she didn’t have to worry about that, and it never made me feel bad because I was feeding the cats) is helpful to at least light a candle, make them feel cared for, and feel less like my effort to help have failed. The short term effort of a larger amount to help out a crisis is a choice each time — can i afford to lose this amount and is it worth a shot? Be rational and thoughtful about it, not just reactive to an apparent or stated crisis.

Also, I wonder if gifting them a healthy experience like sailing lessons that enable an open door to joys and thrills of a better nature might sometimes be appropriate. New communities of normal people, avoidance of boredom, a reminder that life is worthwhile without drugs?