Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: OK, DUers- I need advice, and this is not a political post [View all]Amaryllis
(9,526 posts)56. Absolutley yes, Al Anon for you. Immediately!
THat will help you determine what kind of help is actually help and what is enabling. Been there. And there are excellent addiction counselors who can advise you. You need help sorting out your own feelings about it all in order to keep clear boundaries. Both AlAnon and good addictions counselors can help with that.
Agree with all who have said DO NOT LET THEM MOVE IN WITH YOU, even for one day. That makes you a fly in a spider web.
And good for you for reaching out here. People are giving you excellent advice from their own experience. That can save you a lot of grief.
Edit history
Please sign in to view edit histories.
68 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
RecommendedHighlight replies with 5 or more recommendations
Start with al anon for you they need to finish treatment. I personally would not let them move in
lunasun
Jan 2021
#13
Good advice! I also replied downthread and included the Alanon website link in my post:
Rhiannon12866
Jan 2021
#67
Do NOT allow them to move in with you. You are not qualified to take on this very complex mental
ARPad95
Jan 2021
#6
I think learning about the Karpman Drama Triangle may be very beneficial for you & your husband.
ARPad95
Jan 2021
#58
I strongly second this. Much as you want to help them. this will just make your life unlivable.
Squinch
Jan 2021
#35
Do they have resources to go to a sober living program? If they don't perhaps Salvation Army or some
tulipsandroses
Jan 2021
#24
There are many short books you might read to help orient yourselves before you act.
BComplex
Jan 2021
#31
First, establish boundaries. Addiction affects the family, and addicts care first for their fix
ismnotwasm
Jan 2021
#32
Just the fact that you are wondering if they should move in tells me you should DEFINITELY go to
Squinch
Jan 2021
#36
"Keeping your self healthy and safe allows you to do a better job helping others"
lostnfound
Jan 2021
#41
DO NOT Move Them In! Things will come up missing, fighting, possible robberies, eviction issues.
TheBlackAdder
Jan 2021
#60