OK, DUers- I need advice, and this is not a political post

[RobinA]

57. For The Love Of God

do NOT let them move in or in any way stay with you. Not for one night, don't even suggest it. Also no lending of things you want to see again, and this includes the car. People with addictions can and do recover, but they have to decide for themselves to do it. Also, do not give them money or anything resembling money (gift certificate). If you feel you must help them financially, pay providers directly (no giving them the check to give to the provider). Give them the limits of how much you will help and stick to it. You are right, "We will help you if you do such and such" is not helpful and rarely works. Better to let them make their own recovery decisions, even if they seem misguided to you.

The best thing you can do is be supportive in ways they will accept. Nothing wrong with going with them to the county assistance office or social security if need be. Helping them fill out forms for help, looking to see what housing help is available in your area, doing online research if they don't have assess to Internet, mentioning to them that you saw a For Rent sign somewhere or a Help Wanted sign as long as you can do that without seeming like a nag. Stop it if they don't seem interested. This all sounds kind of measly, I know, but you cannot allow yourself to be sucked into this more than you want to be. You have to protect yourself first.

Opiate addiction really is a monkey on the back. They get really sick if they don't get it often enough, it doesn't last that long, and it is expensive for people with no income. I say this as a heads up for the stealing that others have mentioned. Addicts WILL steal, they have to.