General Discussion

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)

204. People don't hang out with people who want nothing from them.

Wed Oct 10, 2012, 11:18 AM

Oct 2012

Social exchange is the point of a relationship.

Advice to guys: "Make the approach". "Nothing ventured, nothing gained". "Tell her how you feel".

Advice to women: "carry pepper spray in case he does it poorly".

Fuckin' paranoia. You'd never know that violent crime is at a 40 year low, and that the homicide rate is one-half of what it was in 1991.

Did you know that from 2000 to 2010, the number of men arrested for violent crimes dropped by 11.8%, but the number of women arrested for violent crimes went up 0.7%

Also, the number of men arrested for property crimes dropped 7.2% while the number of women arrested increased 27.1% in the same time period.

http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2010/crime-in-the-u.s.-2010/overviews/tab33overview.pdf

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Why is it some men get all offended if a woman they don't know is wary around them? [View all] Brigid Oct 2012 OP

weird... barnabas63 Oct 2012 #1

I have been asked that by strange guys many times obamanut2012 Oct 2012 #20

Me too. It is a stupid "line" and deserves an ignore. Implying that you are a "naughty" girl anneboleyn Oct 2012 #125

I have NEVER said that to a total stranger DiverDave Oct 2012 #243

What is that question supposed to mean? treestar Oct 2012 #45

It's ultra creepy, that's what it is. Zalatix Oct 2012 #74

Agreed. We are Devo Oct 2012 #202

Sounds like a sleazy pick-up line to me. MADem Oct 2012 #124

Because they don't share the fear of being raped---or worse---from men. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #2

Ding ding. Correct. Butterbean Oct 2012 #25

Yes, and if they are sincere they feel they are being prejudged as slimy. The Wielding Truth Oct 2012 #252

Slightly sexual undertones to that statement. theinquisitivechad Oct 2012 #3

+1000. nt raccoon Oct 2012 #177

Because they're dipshits :) arcane1 Oct 2012 #4

you do the right thing, arcane1 Skittles Oct 2012 #9

Thanks arcane1 Oct 2012 #54

a man made a suggestion with that, that i really liked. slow pace a tad and let seabeyond Oct 2012 #29

Indeed. I walk really fast, so I catch up to people all the time without realizing it arcane1 Oct 2012 #51

speeding up can also be very scary drmeow Oct 2012 #303

I don't like it when anyone is walking close behind me 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #313

bully for you. nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #325

I'm a woman and many, many times I've been walking behind another woman, Arugula Latte Oct 2012 #203

Me, too. We all do that? Interesting. nt Honeycombe8 Oct 2012 #269

I've done that too. n/t Jamastiene Oct 2012 #272

I try to make her feel less threatened if we're walking the same way. Foolacious Oct 2012 #335

That guy is fucking gross. Iggo Oct 2012 #5

That's an odd statement, if he said "how you doing" that wouldn't be quite so strange. nt Raine Oct 2012 #6

Why is it some black people get all offended when a salesperson follows them around a store? Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #7

On one hand I agree with your analogy, mythology Oct 2012 #23

wow, totally different things JI7 Oct 2012 #30

is a woman obligated to talk to a stranger, when they do not want to? nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #31

Of course not. No one is obligated to speak to a stranger if they don't wish to. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #46

The OP responding to his greeting with "hi" GObamaGO Oct 2012 #117

He wasn't being 'prejudged' which is a way of saying she's intolerant. His remark caused him to be freshwest Oct 2012 #227

Um, switch that around, hoss. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #43

But the OP doesn't say she was followed. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #50

"he stopped and said, Are you staying out of trouble?"-- Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #109

Oh noes!!! I didn't realize he said that!!! Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #115

One person initiated unasked-for contact. Guess which one that was genius? Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #120

And left when the contact was refused. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #126

The man is the shopkeeper in this story. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #132

By that logic, men must wait for conversation to be intitated by the woman or else its bad? cleanhippie Oct 2012 #209

I was 16 the first time a 70 year old man told me he wanted me to suck his cock at a bus stop Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #220

Come on now, that is not the same thing thy happened here and you know it. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #231

The point is--it easily could have been the case. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #233

But it wasn't. The correct thing happened. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #236

No, the point is that this happened exactly like it should have. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #286

Hey, you've got your opinion, I've got mine. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #332

I've not once tried to tell you how to feel. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #339

"We should be happy." Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #344

But before it happened, she had no way of knowing what Jamastiene Oct 2012 #273

No one has any way to know how anything is going to happen before it happens. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #287

The fact still is that women have to protect ourselves. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #291

Which has nothing to do with what happened in the OP. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #293

No, by that logic, men must assess woman's body language before he decides to initiate contact. KitSileya Oct 2012 #222

Awesome. Next step, make sure the entire world gets your decree and follows it. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #232

Thank you. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #274

We already HAVE a clue. The guy in the OP had one as well. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #288

He might have moved on, but he had to be an ass about it on the way out. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #290

You cannot possibly know that. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #292

So, do you think "Are you staying out of trouble?" is a good way to start a conversation? Gormy Cuss Oct 2012 #257

Are you serious? Darth_Kitten Oct 2012 #284

Are you serious? cleanhippie Oct 2012 #289

I have had the very same thing said to me Sherman A1 Oct 2012 #181

If you get into my personal space Aerows Oct 2012 #238

A whole lot of assumptions there Sherman A1 Oct 2012 #239

"Are you staying out of trouble?" Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #278

You win the thread. Pure gold! nt Romulox Oct 2012 #294

Thank you Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #297

Probably, in a roundabout way. More specifically though, it's THIS monstrosity... Romulox Oct 2012 #300

Image is not there Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #302

Well that's no fun. Romulox Oct 2012 #304

LOL Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #316

Even better when the voice is added (voiced by Todd Barry). Romulox Oct 2012 #318

LOL (nt) Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #333

I'm a guy and have been asked the same question many times throughout life TheKentuckian Oct 2012 #354

I'm a woman and I've never heard it. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #362

I don't see it that way. Tien1985 Oct 2012 #96

That's just thinly disguised prejudice. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #105

That's too black and white for me. Tien1985 Oct 2012 #112

Is "innocent until proven guilty" too black and white for you as well? nt Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #128

You cannot really be this clueless. nt tblue37 Oct 2012 #159

i say that often. i havent decided if they are pretending to be clueless seabeyond Oct 2012 #176

More like how we put people in jail even before a trial. Just common sense. nt Tien1985 Oct 2012 #171

Only courts judge innocence and guilt. LanternWaste Oct 2012 #185

Like crossing the street if one sees an African American, for example? "Benign prudence"? Romulox Oct 2012 #190

are you suggesting women should have NO concern and take NO cautious steps? nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #191

I am just using PRECISELY THE SAME LOGIC as to skin color as you are to gender. Romulox Oct 2012 #192

romulox, again i ask, are you suggesting women not be concerned and not be cautious? seabeyond Oct 2012 #194

Around African Americans, or around men? One answer is "benign", the other is vile. nt Romulox Oct 2012 #212

it sounds to me you are implying women should not be cautious or concerned around strange men, seabeyond Oct 2012 #214

I asked *you* to explain why gender based prejudice is "benign", while race-based is not. Romulox Oct 2012 #295

Here's the difference. Most women who react this way have first hand experiences Gormy Cuss Oct 2012 #259

Um, dubious logic. "Actual experience" isn't usually put forward as a defense of racism. nt Romulox Oct 2012 #296

No, that's exactly my point and why the two situations are fundamentally different. Gormy Cuss Oct 2012 #299

Um, no, still not clear. I grew up in a rough neighborhood. I've been assaulted by people of color Romulox Oct 2012 #301

No, but if your experience makes you wary of people with certain attributes Gormy Cuss Oct 2012 #328

Shuffling feet: a black man�s view on Schroedinger�s Rapist redqueen Oct 2012 #253

A woman is much more likely to be abused by someone she knows than a stranger, so no... Romulox Oct 2012 #298

Do you know how many women and children disappear each year? redqueen Oct 2012 #306

No I don't, though I sincerely doubt it even come close to the number harmed by intimate partners. Romulox Oct 2012 #307

There is a lot of easily available information if you are interested. redqueen Oct 2012 #310

Post removed Post removed Oct 2012 #311

How many? 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #321

Your logic would get a woman raped. Period. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #275

Interesting 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #323

Thank you for mentioning male priviledge GObamaGO Oct 2012 #122

Thanks for the welcome! :) nt Tien1985 Oct 2012 #172

glad you came in out of the cold! your post was very good, and thank you niyad Oct 2012 #197

Actually, there's something of a difference Scootaloo Oct 2012 #153

I don't think it does in this case. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #154

Well, to put it simply, you're wrong. Scootaloo Oct 2012 #155

This message was self-deleted by its author Jamastiene Oct 2012 #276

No, that was not the original question. spooky3 Oct 2012 #367

HOLY SHIT! You said that out loud, BTW...where everybody can see it. renie408 Oct 2012 #262

If I was sitting down waiting for a bus I would bring a cellphone and pretend I'm talking or southernyankeebelle Oct 2012 #8

I was always the smart one, I never talked to women. Zalatix Oct 2012 #77

You are on the right track. Women usually like to size a person up. southernyankeebelle Oct 2012 #184

That doesn't always work, though. I have often had men come up and demand tblue37 Oct 2012 #165

Amen! KitSileya Oct 2012 #170

very good post. nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #178

You make many good points. There is one rude way to get rid of him. Tell him to get southernyankeebelle Oct 2012 #186

I have actually had to do that. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #277

You have the curse of beauty, LOL. I have never had that problem. But I do remember southernyankeebelle Oct 2012 #285

wish I could rec this--would you consider posting it as a separate OP? it needs to be said, and read niyad Oct 2012 #199

I guess I could. Where do you think I should put it--in General Discussion as well? tblue37 Oct 2012 #246

GD. Gets overlooked in dedicated groups. MadrasT Oct 2012 #248

put it in gd niyad Oct 2012 #258

Beautiful post. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #201

Excellent post. n/t ronnie624 Oct 2012 #215

Very well said. Thank you. n/t kiranon Oct 2012 #242

Oh so very very very well said! nt redqueen Oct 2012 #255

I avoid talking to women and always make sure a camera aletier_v Oct 2012 #10

WTF Skittles Oct 2012 #24

you get dates? seabeyond Oct 2012 #33

!!! LadyHawkAZ Oct 2012 #166

Man, I'm glad my mouth was empty when DiverDave Oct 2012 #247

Bazinga! Jamastiene Oct 2012 #279

Geez man.....I hope you're joking. BlueJazz Oct 2012 #35

That works, as long as you remember to bury the camera and the body separately. n/t gkhouston Oct 2012 #40

I don't do that, but I can imagine any man falsely accused of date rape would be tempted to. Zalatix Oct 2012 #72

Umm, welcome to DU, I think Kennah Oct 2012 #138

Um. Wow. Scootaloo Oct 2012 #156

Man, this is sincere advice... renie408 Oct 2012 #263

That may be the worst pickup line ever Floyd_Gondolli Oct 2012 #11

My mother has the patent on it, really. Brigid Oct 2012 #22

That guy is an idiot. He asked you if you're staying out of trouble? Cali_Democrat Oct 2012 #12

Okay ... I get to say it first! 1StrongBlackMan Oct 2012 #13

ha ha. nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #34

I wish you were being sarcastic ... Kennah Oct 2012 #141

you did the rigjt thing veganlush Oct 2012 #14

Thank you. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #280

My eldest daughter spent last semester in Budapest (sister campus)... HopeHoops Oct 2012 #15

Speaking as a man, some men are a.. holes upaloopa Oct 2012 #16

I'm not trying to start nothing ... 1StrongBlackMan Oct 2012 #94

That's not true. It is only your impression. I've stayed out of these debates because of always upaloopa Oct 2012 #205

My mistake ... 1StrongBlackMan Oct 2012 #216

Thank you upaloopa Oct 2012 #228

in chicago, as i was for years, it's helpful elehhhhna Oct 2012 #17

One reaction to cat calls was to make the sign of scissors snipping something. Shut 'em right up. freshwest Oct 2012 #160

you know, i am very vaguely remembering that. hmmm. nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #241

We won't talk about that, but it did work, though. freshwest Oct 2012 #245

I must live in a friendlier part of the country.... mike_c Oct 2012 #18

what you are describing is different than what the OP is talking about JI7 Oct 2012 #27

I think it depends on what you say. Cleita Oct 2012 #32

I am with you clydefrand Oct 2012 #70

Agree. And years and years ago, more people knew their neighbors and others in their communities.nt raccoon Oct 2012 #179

It's like that here too. Tien1985 Oct 2012 #123

Exactly right -- it's the huffy reaction to someone shutting down the conversation that stands out. Gormy Cuss Oct 2012 #261

Because it's easier to get pissed at you than at their fellow men who harass women. Brickbat Oct 2012 #19

It's terrible. I've had some pretty bad experiences with men feeling entitled for JaneyVee Oct 2012 #21

yuk, i have been asked similar by some stupid guys JI7 Oct 2012 #26

Damn. He was trying to be friendly, you knew better with 'the look'. Why babylonsister Oct 2012 #28

A man adjusted my collar in the middle of the grocery store Aerows Oct 2012 #36

I remember you posting about that. Brigid Oct 2012 #37

It's the same thing though Aerows Oct 2012 #39

Yea ... that's creepy. JoePhilly Oct 2012 #55

From the female perspective: GET THE HELL AWAY! Ahem. That would mean: SAY LOUDLY, "I HAVE YOUR WinkyDink Oct 2012 #81

I agree with the person commenting above me Autumn Colors Oct 2012 #187

Agree. Joe, I think your intentions were good, but why in the world you wouldn't just spooky3 Oct 2012 #368

I think that ultimately, you did a nice thing Aerows Oct 2012 #237

Thanks ... JoePhilly Oct 2012 #250

speaking loudly about sunglasses (not shouting) is far less threatening than touching someone spooky3 Oct 2012 #369

There are lots of men in this world who have enough respect for women Jamastiene Oct 2012 #281

I don't get some people 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #314

I had a very different and pleasant experience a few days ago Xipe Totec Oct 2012 #38

The difference is that you were unassuming Aerows Oct 2012 #42

True enough. Unassuming. I love that word Xipe Totec Oct 2012 #67

Yep, and not trying to start a conversation by asking personal questions, however vague n/t arcane1 Oct 2012 #68

Love this! babylonsister Oct 2012 #48

That's it! Xipe Totec Oct 2012 #101

i like your story. i interact all the time. i love the connection. i have also had men do what seabeyond Oct 2012 #174

Some men are intuitive also Xipe Totec Oct 2012 #342

i always thought your letters were fake arely staircase Oct 2012 #145

Thank you for your disarming frankness Xipe Totec Oct 2012 #341

As a guy, I try to be very careful what I say to women that I don't know ... and even some of those JoePhilly Oct 2012 #41

You are right on target Aerows Oct 2012 #47

I was playing golf once with a guy I worked with ... JoePhilly Oct 2012 #62

Same here. It's really not that hard to tell who might be interested in talking to you. stevenleser Oct 2012 #251

In this case ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #44

Some men are immature and deal with rejection poorly. bluedigger Oct 2012 #49

Many men are just fucking clueless Warpy Oct 2012 #52

Males aren't taught that rape is wrong? Bladian Oct 2012 #66

Of course we're not. In fact the word 'man' should be replaced with Zalatix Oct 2012 #71

Are you saying that all men are not taught that rape is wrong? hrmjustin Oct 2012 #78

Wow, so now a brief conversation with a random male is leading to rape? high density Oct 2012 #80

Women only think they're in danger when an unattractive male shows them attention. Comrade_McKenzie Oct 2012 #137

I sure hope you forgot the sarcasm icon--would hate to think that remark was serious niyad Oct 2012 #260

but more women are clueless arely staircase Oct 2012 #118

You had me with the first part Nevernose Oct 2012 #265

"Because males are not taught that rape is wrong" 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #315

Heh..been there,done that and I have perfected the stare rainbow4321 Oct 2012 #53

My rule is, do not approach me when I'm walking to my car ecstatic Oct 2012 #56

Why do some women hug without asking permission first? Bonobo Oct 2012 #57

You are right. Brigid Oct 2012 #59

Be that as it may, I'll bet you never felt fear. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #83

This is true, but... Bonobo Oct 2012 #91

I fucking hate that, too - and I'm a chick REP Oct 2012 #234

a step back, huge smile, and... i dont hug. works for me. nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #244

I also think that is highly inappropriate. n/t MadrasT Oct 2012 #249

They take it as their privilege 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #317

Good point. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #345

Grrr, that one gets on my nerves...How's "Nonya fucking bidness grab ya?" sheesh. pnwest Oct 2012 #58

Are you staying out of trouble?" Berserker Oct 2012 #60

You don't have a right to a conversation Lex Oct 2012 #65

True, but our dumbass society says that men must approach the woman high density Oct 2012 #86

Yep Springslips Oct 2012 #230

In the situation described in the OP, it was the man who got all pissy. n/t Jamastiene Oct 2012 #282

It sounds to me like they both handled it poorly. NM high density Oct 2012 #337

Where are YOU from, that that's "a really common statement" TO A COMPLETE STRANGER? WinkyDink Oct 2012 #84

I think b/c of lack of experience. Dash87 Oct 2012 #61

There are quite a few men who think they are entitled to a conversation with any woman Lex Oct 2012 #63

Practice these words, "Fuck off." MrScorpio Oct 2012 #64

I'm under five feet tall. Brigid Oct 2012 #69

Forget about size MrScorpio Oct 2012 #73

Don't respond. Break eye-contact and watch his knees. DollarBillHines Oct 2012 #76

It's an inappropriate question from a strange man at the get-go. Kurovski Oct 2012 #75

What an angry guy! Sounds like you had the right instincts. Michigan Alum Oct 2012 #79

I've had strange women ask me the same thing. B Calm Oct 2012 #82

You don't get it. You just don't get it. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #85

I think what I get is that the girl thought she B Calm Oct 2012 #89

"The nicest guy, the guy with no self-serving agenda whatsoever, the one who wants nothing from WinkyDink Oct 2012 #87

This message was self-deleted by its author hrmjustin Oct 2012 #88

Yes, I edited because of such a possible example. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #93

Ok I will edit mine. hrmjustin Oct 2012 #99

Because no man, anywhere, has EVER been harmed by a strange woman. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #90

How completely illogical of a response. Especially as my original DEALT WITH THIS. But even if you WinkyDink Oct 2012 #95

I guess we'll never know... Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #100

You'll never know? Then you are replying without having read the full original? FINE. HERE: WinkyDink Oct 2012 #103

This message was self-deleted by its author Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #129

What I find indefensible is your assertion men have no reason to fear a strange woman. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #134

I daresay every human behavior known and then some can be found to exist. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #351

Geez, you're on a roll tonight. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #102

Re-read the OP. A man was so cautious he returned TO that woman. BTW: Are you the editing police? WinkyDink Oct 2012 #104

That's not in the OP. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #107

So you feel ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #106

Interesting indeed. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #108

'Innate' quality? ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #131

Okay, I see. You believe women to be less violent than men because of socialization. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #139

But they don't do they? I wonder why ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #147

My link says the statistics do support my view. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #148

Aha! ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #150

Yes, the references are studies of dating and domestic violence. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #152

No, you're reading hostility where there is none. ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #157

Please see my post 165 below. It might help you understand why women feel violated tblue37 Oct 2012 #168

That study is very flawed. JTFrog Oct 2012 #169

You must have never seen a female crack whore snooper2 Oct 2012 #211

That's why I make sure my first dates get filmed aletier_v Oct 2012 #119

me too arely staircase Oct 2012 #140

What about violence from other men? Bonobo Oct 2012 #92

Statsitics might help. But whatever, the point remains as to which gender is the more violent. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #97

Yes, men are more violent. No doubt about it. nt Bonobo Oct 2012 #98

I doubt it. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #110

Even a cursory study of other animal behavior should make it clear. Bonobo Oct 2012 #136

Bullshit. JTFrog Oct 2012 #142

Or not. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #144

This message was self-deleted by its author JTFrog Oct 2012 #149

Try rape and murder statistics. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #352

People don't hang out with people who want nothing from them. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2012 #204

How do you suppose people form relationships then? 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #320

"If no initial interaction is possible?" Scout Oct 2012 #348

You're mistaken 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #349

In defense of "some men" arboretum Oct 2012 #111

lol that is true. hrmjustin Oct 2012 #114

it happens often. and most are realitistic enough to recognize it. you arent the dude, seabeyond Oct 2012 #173

awkward pick-up line arely staircase Oct 2012 #113

I get this all the time...I look years young for my age.. HipChick Oct 2012 #116

she says humbly arely staircase Oct 2012 #121

Amazingly hypocritical thread aletier_v Oct 2012 #127

Welcome to DU... the place where small penis jokes are fine but calling someone "honey" is not. nt Comrade_McKenzie Oct 2012 #133

Go look at the 52 response on this thread, and tell me what you think? hrmjustin Oct 2012 #135

I'm a tall, and often somewhat scruff looking, big guy... eqfan592 Oct 2012 #130

You know I have always showed disdain for women haters when i meet them. And they do... hrmjustin Oct 2012 #143

OP title is inacurate. xfundy Oct 2012 #146

I haven't read all of the responses yet, but.... blueamy66 Oct 2012 #151

I think your reaction was completely appropriate ibegurpard Oct 2012 #158

do you think it is possible he thought he knew you? arely staircase Oct 2012 #161

that's the only context in which that remark would seem appropriate to me ibegurpard Oct 2012 #162

me too arely staircase Oct 2012 #163

I don't think this is really a question. cliffordu Oct 2012 #164

Nothing wrong with your radar, Brigid.. Permanut Oct 2012 #167

So many of you are missing FlaGranny Oct 2012 #175

I hate that inane question. Some people ask it generically to men/women/whatever. stevenleser Oct 2012 #180

Some men are dip-shits NNN0LHI Oct 2012 #182

"Most are not" for real. seabeyond Oct 2012 #189

Had to Curb the Smile MizzM Oct 2012 #183

Here's what this guy thought about a smile ... dawg Oct 2012 #195

Nice "Smile" story, Dawg MizzM Oct 2012 #198

That sound like the time ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #235

"It's SOME African Americans who give all the rest a bad name..." Romulox Oct 2012 #188

BS...I've seen white females physically recoil if a black man gets in the elevator HipChick Oct 2012 #208

Do they defend their racism on DU and get overwhelming support for it, though? I think not. nt Romulox Oct 2012 #213

It was suggested that men 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #319

well, no (regular) guy wants themselves perceived as a danger. on the other hand THIS guy made a dionysus Oct 2012 #193

As I see it... MadrasT Oct 2012 #196

Men do *not* have the right to start any conversation they want in any manner they want. KitSileya Oct 2012 #224

I am a female rape survivor and none of this is news to me. n/t MadrasT Oct 2012 #336

You are sadly mistaken and clearly do not "get" how a woman walks through this world. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #350

I'm pretty sure the person you're responding to 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #355

I believe that is what is called 'a line' and it works in da moovees... Tikki Oct 2012 #200

Yeah, that's a little off for a stranger to say to you. R. Daneel Olivaw Oct 2012 #206

That sounds creepy. geardaddy Oct 2012 #207

What do you mean by "He got all huffy before he went down the street"? Did he SAY something to you? cleanhippie Oct 2012 #210

Because their life's experiences ronnie624 Oct 2012 #217

"Hi" or "Good morning/afternoon" is not creepy. hifiguy Oct 2012 #218

For some men, once you say "hi" they think oral sex is already a high probability. aikoaiko Oct 2012 #219

You got off easy with what your Mom told you. The talk I gave my daughter was much Whovian Oct 2012 #221

Glad you do--obviously some men don't. raccoon Oct 2012 #229

Oh, that's simple: H2O Man Oct 2012 #223

Sounds like he was trying to hit on you and Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #225

It's pretty simple. Springslips Oct 2012 #226

I totally understand your reaction and I'm a male steve2470 Oct 2012 #240

This thread reminded me of Gavin De Becker's book felix_numinous Oct 2012 #254

OMG I did, too! obamanut2012 Oct 2012 #324

Had he read this, I bet he would be glad with how it ended joeglow3 Oct 2012 #256

Niiiice obamanut2012 Oct 2012 #326

Bullshit joeglow3 Oct 2012 #346

I am under no obligation to be "nice" to a numbskull just to spare his fragile little ego. Brigid Oct 2012 #353

Nobody said you didn't have a right to be an asshole joeglow3 Oct 2012 #359

Really? Brigid Oct 2012 #361

And this is why my job is frustrating joeglow3 Oct 2012 #363

So now I'm a kindergartner and an asshole? Brigid Oct 2012 #364

Pretty much. Bye. joeglow3 Oct 2012 #365

I think I have just read some of the craziest responses I have ever seen on the DU renie408 Oct 2012 #264

Be glad you didn't continue. redqueen Oct 2012 #268

If I'm going to be waiting at a bus stop, and a woman is there already, MineralMan Oct 2012 #266

When you say that the guy "got all huffy", what does that mean? prefunk Oct 2012 #267

Why does he have a right to get huffy for being "rebuffed" for creepiness? obamanut2012 Oct 2012 #327

Who said anything about having a right to do something? prefunk Oct 2012 #347

That's a have you stopped beating your wife question. You should have stepped on his foot and asked lonestarnot Oct 2012 #270

You don't owe anybody anything. Darth_Kitten Oct 2012 #271

Some guys are just creeps with a sense of entitlement. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #283

I had a similar experience with a guest who was a man... Just because I didn't glowing Oct 2012 #305

Wow, a thread with an issue nolabels Oct 2012 #308

No one is required to prove anything to another person about that other person's patrice Oct 2012 #309

"Are you staying out of trouble?" 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #312

"Are you staying out of trouble" woolldog Oct 2012 #322

Most excellent! You win. Brigid Oct 2012 #329

No, that type of creep would have read the response as being an invitation for more conversation. spooky3 Oct 2012 #370

I give strangers a little extra space. chknltl Oct 2012 #330

Life in the city lalalu Oct 2012 #331

Okay, that line "Are you staying out of trouble" is just creepy. white_wolf Oct 2012 #334

Guy here. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable at all LittleBlue Oct 2012 #338

I'd have done the same. polly7 Oct 2012 #340

A gentleman would respect the innate fear Ilsa Oct 2012 #343

Elevators are tricky. ieoeja Oct 2012 #356

That seems like an awful lot 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #357

As I said, we're talking psychology, not physics. ieoeja Oct 2012 #358

Even if you get in first, Ilsa Oct 2012 #360

What he asked was kind of weird, so honestly don't blame you for not saying anything. Though it's Proles Oct 2012 #366

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