General Discussion

Shankapotomus

(4,840 posts)

278. "Are you staying out of trouble?"

Thu Oct 11, 2012, 06:14 AM

Oct 2012

Is loaded with sexual connotations, presumptions and attemt to dominant and control. To ask that, one is implying that the woman has been "in trouble" before. He was also strongly implying that it was his job to manage the woman's behavior, which smacks of paternalism, and that her past behavior is immediately under suspicion. Guy is a first class misogynist. So the woman was totally correct to be offended as he engaged in pre-judging her first. "Are you staying out of trouble?" when directed by a stranger at anyone is a question loaded with pre-value judgements and definitely an attempt to dominate by lowering the character level of the other person to ones moral and ethical inferior. It is pure psychological abuse.The guy is a piece of living shit.

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Why is it some men get all offended if a woman they don't know is wary around them? [View all] Brigid Oct 2012 OP

weird... barnabas63 Oct 2012 #1

I have been asked that by strange guys many times obamanut2012 Oct 2012 #20

Me too. It is a stupid "line" and deserves an ignore. Implying that you are a "naughty" girl anneboleyn Oct 2012 #125

I have NEVER said that to a total stranger DiverDave Oct 2012 #243

What is that question supposed to mean? treestar Oct 2012 #45

It's ultra creepy, that's what it is. Zalatix Oct 2012 #74

Agreed. We are Devo Oct 2012 #202

Sounds like a sleazy pick-up line to me. MADem Oct 2012 #124

Because they don't share the fear of being raped---or worse---from men. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #2

Ding ding. Correct. Butterbean Oct 2012 #25

Yes, and if they are sincere they feel they are being prejudged as slimy. The Wielding Truth Oct 2012 #252

Slightly sexual undertones to that statement. theinquisitivechad Oct 2012 #3

+1000. nt raccoon Oct 2012 #177

Because they're dipshits :) arcane1 Oct 2012 #4

you do the right thing, arcane1 Skittles Oct 2012 #9

Thanks arcane1 Oct 2012 #54

a man made a suggestion with that, that i really liked. slow pace a tad and let seabeyond Oct 2012 #29

Indeed. I walk really fast, so I catch up to people all the time without realizing it arcane1 Oct 2012 #51

speeding up can also be very scary drmeow Oct 2012 #303

I don't like it when anyone is walking close behind me 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #313

bully for you. nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #325

I'm a woman and many, many times I've been walking behind another woman, Arugula Latte Oct 2012 #203

Me, too. We all do that? Interesting. nt Honeycombe8 Oct 2012 #269

I've done that too. n/t Jamastiene Oct 2012 #272

I try to make her feel less threatened if we're walking the same way. Foolacious Oct 2012 #335

That guy is fucking gross. Iggo Oct 2012 #5

That's an odd statement, if he said "how you doing" that wouldn't be quite so strange. nt Raine Oct 2012 #6

Why is it some black people get all offended when a salesperson follows them around a store? Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #7

On one hand I agree with your analogy, mythology Oct 2012 #23

wow, totally different things JI7 Oct 2012 #30

is a woman obligated to talk to a stranger, when they do not want to? nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #31

Of course not. No one is obligated to speak to a stranger if they don't wish to. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #46

The OP responding to his greeting with "hi" GObamaGO Oct 2012 #117

He wasn't being 'prejudged' which is a way of saying she's intolerant. His remark caused him to be freshwest Oct 2012 #227

Um, switch that around, hoss. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #43

But the OP doesn't say she was followed. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #50

"he stopped and said, Are you staying out of trouble?"-- Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #109

Oh noes!!! I didn't realize he said that!!! Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #115

One person initiated unasked-for contact. Guess which one that was genius? Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #120

And left when the contact was refused. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #126

The man is the shopkeeper in this story. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #132

By that logic, men must wait for conversation to be intitated by the woman or else its bad? cleanhippie Oct 2012 #209

I was 16 the first time a 70 year old man told me he wanted me to suck his cock at a bus stop Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #220

Come on now, that is not the same thing thy happened here and you know it. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #231

The point is--it easily could have been the case. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #233

But it wasn't. The correct thing happened. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #236

No, the point is that this happened exactly like it should have. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #286

Hey, you've got your opinion, I've got mine. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #332

I've not once tried to tell you how to feel. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #339

"We should be happy." Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #344

But before it happened, she had no way of knowing what Jamastiene Oct 2012 #273

No one has any way to know how anything is going to happen before it happens. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #287

The fact still is that women have to protect ourselves. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #291

Which has nothing to do with what happened in the OP. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #293

No, by that logic, men must assess woman's body language before he decides to initiate contact. KitSileya Oct 2012 #222

Awesome. Next step, make sure the entire world gets your decree and follows it. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #232

Thank you. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #274

We already HAVE a clue. The guy in the OP had one as well. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #288

He might have moved on, but he had to be an ass about it on the way out. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #290

You cannot possibly know that. cleanhippie Oct 2012 #292

So, do you think "Are you staying out of trouble?" is a good way to start a conversation? Gormy Cuss Oct 2012 #257

Are you serious? Darth_Kitten Oct 2012 #284

Are you serious? cleanhippie Oct 2012 #289

I have had the very same thing said to me Sherman A1 Oct 2012 #181

If you get into my personal space Aerows Oct 2012 #238

A whole lot of assumptions there Sherman A1 Oct 2012 #239

"Are you staying out of trouble?" Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #278

You win the thread. Pure gold! nt Romulox Oct 2012 #294

Thank you Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #297

Probably, in a roundabout way. More specifically though, it's THIS monstrosity... Romulox Oct 2012 #300

Image is not there Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #302

Well that's no fun. Romulox Oct 2012 #304

LOL Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #316

Even better when the voice is added (voiced by Todd Barry). Romulox Oct 2012 #318

LOL (nt) Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #333

I'm a guy and have been asked the same question many times throughout life TheKentuckian Oct 2012 #354

I'm a woman and I've never heard it. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #362

I don't see it that way. Tien1985 Oct 2012 #96

That's just thinly disguised prejudice. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #105

That's too black and white for me. Tien1985 Oct 2012 #112

Is "innocent until proven guilty" too black and white for you as well? nt Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #128

You cannot really be this clueless. nt tblue37 Oct 2012 #159

i say that often. i havent decided if they are pretending to be clueless seabeyond Oct 2012 #176

More like how we put people in jail even before a trial. Just common sense. nt Tien1985 Oct 2012 #171

Only courts judge innocence and guilt. LanternWaste Oct 2012 #185

Like crossing the street if one sees an African American, for example? "Benign prudence"? Romulox Oct 2012 #190

are you suggesting women should have NO concern and take NO cautious steps? nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #191

I am just using PRECISELY THE SAME LOGIC as to skin color as you are to gender. Romulox Oct 2012 #192

romulox, again i ask, are you suggesting women not be concerned and not be cautious? seabeyond Oct 2012 #194

Around African Americans, or around men? One answer is "benign", the other is vile. nt Romulox Oct 2012 #212

it sounds to me you are implying women should not be cautious or concerned around strange men, seabeyond Oct 2012 #214

I asked *you* to explain why gender based prejudice is "benign", while race-based is not. Romulox Oct 2012 #295

Here's the difference. Most women who react this way have first hand experiences Gormy Cuss Oct 2012 #259

Um, dubious logic. "Actual experience" isn't usually put forward as a defense of racism. nt Romulox Oct 2012 #296

No, that's exactly my point and why the two situations are fundamentally different. Gormy Cuss Oct 2012 #299

Um, no, still not clear. I grew up in a rough neighborhood. I've been assaulted by people of color Romulox Oct 2012 #301

No, but if your experience makes you wary of people with certain attributes Gormy Cuss Oct 2012 #328

Shuffling feet: a black man�s view on Schroedinger�s Rapist redqueen Oct 2012 #253

A woman is much more likely to be abused by someone she knows than a stranger, so no... Romulox Oct 2012 #298

Do you know how many women and children disappear each year? redqueen Oct 2012 #306

No I don't, though I sincerely doubt it even come close to the number harmed by intimate partners. Romulox Oct 2012 #307

There is a lot of easily available information if you are interested. redqueen Oct 2012 #310

Post removed Post removed Oct 2012 #311

How many? 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #321

Your logic would get a woman raped. Period. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #275

Interesting 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #323

Thank you for mentioning male priviledge GObamaGO Oct 2012 #122

Thanks for the welcome! :) nt Tien1985 Oct 2012 #172

glad you came in out of the cold! your post was very good, and thank you niyad Oct 2012 #197

Actually, there's something of a difference Scootaloo Oct 2012 #153

I don't think it does in this case. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #154

Well, to put it simply, you're wrong. Scootaloo Oct 2012 #155

This message was self-deleted by its author Jamastiene Oct 2012 #276

No, that was not the original question. spooky3 Oct 2012 #367

HOLY SHIT! You said that out loud, BTW...where everybody can see it. renie408 Oct 2012 #262

If I was sitting down waiting for a bus I would bring a cellphone and pretend I'm talking or southernyankeebelle Oct 2012 #8

I was always the smart one, I never talked to women. Zalatix Oct 2012 #77

You are on the right track. Women usually like to size a person up. southernyankeebelle Oct 2012 #184

That doesn't always work, though. I have often had men come up and demand tblue37 Oct 2012 #165

Amen! KitSileya Oct 2012 #170

very good post. nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #178

You make many good points. There is one rude way to get rid of him. Tell him to get southernyankeebelle Oct 2012 #186

I have actually had to do that. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #277

You have the curse of beauty, LOL. I have never had that problem. But I do remember southernyankeebelle Oct 2012 #285

wish I could rec this--would you consider posting it as a separate OP? it needs to be said, and read niyad Oct 2012 #199

I guess I could. Where do you think I should put it--in General Discussion as well? tblue37 Oct 2012 #246

GD. Gets overlooked in dedicated groups. MadrasT Oct 2012 #248

put it in gd niyad Oct 2012 #258

Beautiful post. Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #201

Excellent post. n/t ronnie624 Oct 2012 #215

Very well said. Thank you. n/t kiranon Oct 2012 #242

Oh so very very very well said! nt redqueen Oct 2012 #255

I avoid talking to women and always make sure a camera aletier_v Oct 2012 #10

WTF Skittles Oct 2012 #24

you get dates? seabeyond Oct 2012 #33

!!! LadyHawkAZ Oct 2012 #166

Man, I'm glad my mouth was empty when DiverDave Oct 2012 #247

Bazinga! Jamastiene Oct 2012 #279

Geez man.....I hope you're joking. BlueJazz Oct 2012 #35

That works, as long as you remember to bury the camera and the body separately. n/t gkhouston Oct 2012 #40

I don't do that, but I can imagine any man falsely accused of date rape would be tempted to. Zalatix Oct 2012 #72

Umm, welcome to DU, I think Kennah Oct 2012 #138

Um. Wow. Scootaloo Oct 2012 #156

Man, this is sincere advice... renie408 Oct 2012 #263

That may be the worst pickup line ever Floyd_Gondolli Oct 2012 #11

My mother has the patent on it, really. Brigid Oct 2012 #22

That guy is an idiot. He asked you if you're staying out of trouble? Cali_Democrat Oct 2012 #12

Okay ... I get to say it first! 1StrongBlackMan Oct 2012 #13

ha ha. nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #34

I wish you were being sarcastic ... Kennah Oct 2012 #141

you did the rigjt thing veganlush Oct 2012 #14

Thank you. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #280

My eldest daughter spent last semester in Budapest (sister campus)... HopeHoops Oct 2012 #15

Speaking as a man, some men are a.. holes upaloopa Oct 2012 #16

I'm not trying to start nothing ... 1StrongBlackMan Oct 2012 #94

That's not true. It is only your impression. I've stayed out of these debates because of always upaloopa Oct 2012 #205

My mistake ... 1StrongBlackMan Oct 2012 #216

Thank you upaloopa Oct 2012 #228

in chicago, as i was for years, it's helpful elehhhhna Oct 2012 #17

One reaction to cat calls was to make the sign of scissors snipping something. Shut 'em right up. freshwest Oct 2012 #160

you know, i am very vaguely remembering that. hmmm. nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #241

We won't talk about that, but it did work, though. freshwest Oct 2012 #245

I must live in a friendlier part of the country.... mike_c Oct 2012 #18

what you are describing is different than what the OP is talking about JI7 Oct 2012 #27

I think it depends on what you say. Cleita Oct 2012 #32

I am with you clydefrand Oct 2012 #70

Agree. And years and years ago, more people knew their neighbors and others in their communities.nt raccoon Oct 2012 #179

It's like that here too. Tien1985 Oct 2012 #123

Exactly right -- it's the huffy reaction to someone shutting down the conversation that stands out. Gormy Cuss Oct 2012 #261

Because it's easier to get pissed at you than at their fellow men who harass women. Brickbat Oct 2012 #19

It's terrible. I've had some pretty bad experiences with men feeling entitled for JaneyVee Oct 2012 #21

yuk, i have been asked similar by some stupid guys JI7 Oct 2012 #26

Damn. He was trying to be friendly, you knew better with 'the look'. Why babylonsister Oct 2012 #28

A man adjusted my collar in the middle of the grocery store Aerows Oct 2012 #36

I remember you posting about that. Brigid Oct 2012 #37

It's the same thing though Aerows Oct 2012 #39

Yea ... that's creepy. JoePhilly Oct 2012 #55

From the female perspective: GET THE HELL AWAY! Ahem. That would mean: SAY LOUDLY, "I HAVE YOUR WinkyDink Oct 2012 #81

I agree with the person commenting above me Autumn Colors Oct 2012 #187

Agree. Joe, I think your intentions were good, but why in the world you wouldn't just spooky3 Oct 2012 #368

I think that ultimately, you did a nice thing Aerows Oct 2012 #237

Thanks ... JoePhilly Oct 2012 #250

speaking loudly about sunglasses (not shouting) is far less threatening than touching someone spooky3 Oct 2012 #369

There are lots of men in this world who have enough respect for women Jamastiene Oct 2012 #281

I don't get some people 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #314

I had a very different and pleasant experience a few days ago Xipe Totec Oct 2012 #38

The difference is that you were unassuming Aerows Oct 2012 #42

True enough. Unassuming. I love that word Xipe Totec Oct 2012 #67

Yep, and not trying to start a conversation by asking personal questions, however vague n/t arcane1 Oct 2012 #68

Love this! babylonsister Oct 2012 #48

That's it! Xipe Totec Oct 2012 #101

i like your story. i interact all the time. i love the connection. i have also had men do what seabeyond Oct 2012 #174

Some men are intuitive also Xipe Totec Oct 2012 #342

i always thought your letters were fake arely staircase Oct 2012 #145

Thank you for your disarming frankness Xipe Totec Oct 2012 #341

As a guy, I try to be very careful what I say to women that I don't know ... and even some of those JoePhilly Oct 2012 #41

You are right on target Aerows Oct 2012 #47

I was playing golf once with a guy I worked with ... JoePhilly Oct 2012 #62

Same here. It's really not that hard to tell who might be interested in talking to you. stevenleser Oct 2012 #251

In this case ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #44

Some men are immature and deal with rejection poorly. bluedigger Oct 2012 #49

Many men are just fucking clueless Warpy Oct 2012 #52

Males aren't taught that rape is wrong? Bladian Oct 2012 #66

Of course we're not. In fact the word 'man' should be replaced with Zalatix Oct 2012 #71

Are you saying that all men are not taught that rape is wrong? hrmjustin Oct 2012 #78

Wow, so now a brief conversation with a random male is leading to rape? high density Oct 2012 #80

Women only think they're in danger when an unattractive male shows them attention. Comrade_McKenzie Oct 2012 #137

I sure hope you forgot the sarcasm icon--would hate to think that remark was serious niyad Oct 2012 #260

but more women are clueless arely staircase Oct 2012 #118

You had me with the first part Nevernose Oct 2012 #265

"Because males are not taught that rape is wrong" 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #315

Heh..been there,done that and I have perfected the stare rainbow4321 Oct 2012 #53

My rule is, do not approach me when I'm walking to my car ecstatic Oct 2012 #56

Why do some women hug without asking permission first? Bonobo Oct 2012 #57

You are right. Brigid Oct 2012 #59

Be that as it may, I'll bet you never felt fear. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #83

This is true, but... Bonobo Oct 2012 #91

I fucking hate that, too - and I'm a chick REP Oct 2012 #234

a step back, huge smile, and... i dont hug. works for me. nt seabeyond Oct 2012 #244

I also think that is highly inappropriate. n/t MadrasT Oct 2012 #249

They take it as their privilege 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #317

Good point. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #345

Grrr, that one gets on my nerves...How's "Nonya fucking bidness grab ya?" sheesh. pnwest Oct 2012 #58

Are you staying out of trouble?" Berserker Oct 2012 #60

You don't have a right to a conversation Lex Oct 2012 #65

True, but our dumbass society says that men must approach the woman high density Oct 2012 #86

Yep Springslips Oct 2012 #230

In the situation described in the OP, it was the man who got all pissy. n/t Jamastiene Oct 2012 #282

It sounds to me like they both handled it poorly. NM high density Oct 2012 #337

Where are YOU from, that that's "a really common statement" TO A COMPLETE STRANGER? WinkyDink Oct 2012 #84

I think b/c of lack of experience. Dash87 Oct 2012 #61

There are quite a few men who think they are entitled to a conversation with any woman Lex Oct 2012 #63

Practice these words, "Fuck off." MrScorpio Oct 2012 #64

I'm under five feet tall. Brigid Oct 2012 #69

Forget about size MrScorpio Oct 2012 #73

Don't respond. Break eye-contact and watch his knees. DollarBillHines Oct 2012 #76

It's an inappropriate question from a strange man at the get-go. Kurovski Oct 2012 #75

What an angry guy! Sounds like you had the right instincts. Michigan Alum Oct 2012 #79

I've had strange women ask me the same thing. B Calm Oct 2012 #82

You don't get it. You just don't get it. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #85

I think what I get is that the girl thought she B Calm Oct 2012 #89

"The nicest guy, the guy with no self-serving agenda whatsoever, the one who wants nothing from WinkyDink Oct 2012 #87

This message was self-deleted by its author hrmjustin Oct 2012 #88

Yes, I edited because of such a possible example. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #93

Ok I will edit mine. hrmjustin Oct 2012 #99

Because no man, anywhere, has EVER been harmed by a strange woman. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #90

How completely illogical of a response. Especially as my original DEALT WITH THIS. But even if you WinkyDink Oct 2012 #95

I guess we'll never know... Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #100

You'll never know? Then you are replying without having read the full original? FINE. HERE: WinkyDink Oct 2012 #103

This message was self-deleted by its author Starry Messenger Oct 2012 #129

What I find indefensible is your assertion men have no reason to fear a strange woman. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #134

I daresay every human behavior known and then some can be found to exist. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #351

Geez, you're on a roll tonight. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #102

Re-read the OP. A man was so cautious he returned TO that woman. BTW: Are you the editing police? WinkyDink Oct 2012 #104

That's not in the OP. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #107

So you feel ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #106

Interesting indeed. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #108

'Innate' quality? ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #131

Okay, I see. You believe women to be less violent than men because of socialization. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #139

But they don't do they? I wonder why ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #147

My link says the statistics do support my view. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #148

Aha! ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #150

Yes, the references are studies of dating and domestic violence. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #152

No, you're reading hostility where there is none. ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #157

Please see my post 165 below. It might help you understand why women feel violated tblue37 Oct 2012 #168

That study is very flawed. JTFrog Oct 2012 #169

You must have never seen a female crack whore snooper2 Oct 2012 #211

That's why I make sure my first dates get filmed aletier_v Oct 2012 #119

me too arely staircase Oct 2012 #140

What about violence from other men? Bonobo Oct 2012 #92

Statsitics might help. But whatever, the point remains as to which gender is the more violent. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #97

Yes, men are more violent. No doubt about it. nt Bonobo Oct 2012 #98

I doubt it. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #110

Even a cursory study of other animal behavior should make it clear. Bonobo Oct 2012 #136

Bullshit. JTFrog Oct 2012 #142

Or not. Llewlladdwr Oct 2012 #144

This message was self-deleted by its author JTFrog Oct 2012 #149

Try rape and murder statistics. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #352

People don't hang out with people who want nothing from them. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2012 #204

How do you suppose people form relationships then? 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #320

"If no initial interaction is possible?" Scout Oct 2012 #348

You're mistaken 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #349

In defense of "some men" arboretum Oct 2012 #111

lol that is true. hrmjustin Oct 2012 #114

it happens often. and most are realitistic enough to recognize it. you arent the dude, seabeyond Oct 2012 #173

awkward pick-up line arely staircase Oct 2012 #113

I get this all the time...I look years young for my age.. HipChick Oct 2012 #116

she says humbly arely staircase Oct 2012 #121

Amazingly hypocritical thread aletier_v Oct 2012 #127

Welcome to DU... the place where small penis jokes are fine but calling someone "honey" is not. nt Comrade_McKenzie Oct 2012 #133

Go look at the 52 response on this thread, and tell me what you think? hrmjustin Oct 2012 #135

I'm a tall, and often somewhat scruff looking, big guy... eqfan592 Oct 2012 #130

You know I have always showed disdain for women haters when i meet them. And they do... hrmjustin Oct 2012 #143

OP title is inacurate. xfundy Oct 2012 #146

I haven't read all of the responses yet, but.... blueamy66 Oct 2012 #151

I think your reaction was completely appropriate ibegurpard Oct 2012 #158

do you think it is possible he thought he knew you? arely staircase Oct 2012 #161

that's the only context in which that remark would seem appropriate to me ibegurpard Oct 2012 #162

me too arely staircase Oct 2012 #163

I don't think this is really a question. cliffordu Oct 2012 #164

Nothing wrong with your radar, Brigid.. Permanut Oct 2012 #167

So many of you are missing FlaGranny Oct 2012 #175

I hate that inane question. Some people ask it generically to men/women/whatever. stevenleser Oct 2012 #180

Some men are dip-shits NNN0LHI Oct 2012 #182

"Most are not" for real. seabeyond Oct 2012 #189

Had to Curb the Smile MizzM Oct 2012 #183

Here's what this guy thought about a smile ... dawg Oct 2012 #195

Nice "Smile" story, Dawg MizzM Oct 2012 #198

That sound like the time ismnotwasm Oct 2012 #235

"It's SOME African Americans who give all the rest a bad name..." Romulox Oct 2012 #188

BS...I've seen white females physically recoil if a black man gets in the elevator HipChick Oct 2012 #208

Do they defend their racism on DU and get overwhelming support for it, though? I think not. nt Romulox Oct 2012 #213

It was suggested that men 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #319

well, no (regular) guy wants themselves perceived as a danger. on the other hand THIS guy made a dionysus Oct 2012 #193

As I see it... MadrasT Oct 2012 #196

Men do *not* have the right to start any conversation they want in any manner they want. KitSileya Oct 2012 #224

I am a female rape survivor and none of this is news to me. n/t MadrasT Oct 2012 #336

You are sadly mistaken and clearly do not "get" how a woman walks through this world. WinkyDink Oct 2012 #350

I'm pretty sure the person you're responding to 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #355

I believe that is what is called 'a line' and it works in da moovees... Tikki Oct 2012 #200

Yeah, that's a little off for a stranger to say to you. R. Daneel Olivaw Oct 2012 #206

That sounds creepy. geardaddy Oct 2012 #207

What do you mean by "He got all huffy before he went down the street"? Did he SAY something to you? cleanhippie Oct 2012 #210

Because their life's experiences ronnie624 Oct 2012 #217

"Hi" or "Good morning/afternoon" is not creepy. hifiguy Oct 2012 #218

For some men, once you say "hi" they think oral sex is already a high probability. aikoaiko Oct 2012 #219

You got off easy with what your Mom told you. The talk I gave my daughter was much Whovian Oct 2012 #221

Glad you do--obviously some men don't. raccoon Oct 2012 #229

Oh, that's simple: H2O Man Oct 2012 #223

Sounds like he was trying to hit on you and Shankapotomus Oct 2012 #225

It's pretty simple. Springslips Oct 2012 #226

I totally understand your reaction and I'm a male steve2470 Oct 2012 #240

This thread reminded me of Gavin De Becker's book felix_numinous Oct 2012 #254

OMG I did, too! obamanut2012 Oct 2012 #324

Had he read this, I bet he would be glad with how it ended joeglow3 Oct 2012 #256

Niiiice obamanut2012 Oct 2012 #326

Bullshit joeglow3 Oct 2012 #346

I am under no obligation to be "nice" to a numbskull just to spare his fragile little ego. Brigid Oct 2012 #353

Nobody said you didn't have a right to be an asshole joeglow3 Oct 2012 #359

Really? Brigid Oct 2012 #361

And this is why my job is frustrating joeglow3 Oct 2012 #363

So now I'm a kindergartner and an asshole? Brigid Oct 2012 #364

Pretty much. Bye. joeglow3 Oct 2012 #365

I think I have just read some of the craziest responses I have ever seen on the DU renie408 Oct 2012 #264

Be glad you didn't continue. redqueen Oct 2012 #268

If I'm going to be waiting at a bus stop, and a woman is there already, MineralMan Oct 2012 #266

When you say that the guy "got all huffy", what does that mean? prefunk Oct 2012 #267

Why does he have a right to get huffy for being "rebuffed" for creepiness? obamanut2012 Oct 2012 #327

Who said anything about having a right to do something? prefunk Oct 2012 #347

That's a have you stopped beating your wife question. You should have stepped on his foot and asked lonestarnot Oct 2012 #270

You don't owe anybody anything. Darth_Kitten Oct 2012 #271

Some guys are just creeps with a sense of entitlement. Jamastiene Oct 2012 #283

I had a similar experience with a guest who was a man... Just because I didn't glowing Oct 2012 #305

Wow, a thread with an issue nolabels Oct 2012 #308

No one is required to prove anything to another person about that other person's patrice Oct 2012 #309

"Are you staying out of trouble?" 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #312

"Are you staying out of trouble" woolldog Oct 2012 #322

Most excellent! You win. Brigid Oct 2012 #329

No, that type of creep would have read the response as being an invitation for more conversation. spooky3 Oct 2012 #370

I give strangers a little extra space. chknltl Oct 2012 #330

Life in the city lalalu Oct 2012 #331

Okay, that line "Are you staying out of trouble" is just creepy. white_wolf Oct 2012 #334

Guy here. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable at all LittleBlue Oct 2012 #338

I'd have done the same. polly7 Oct 2012 #340

A gentleman would respect the innate fear Ilsa Oct 2012 #343

Elevators are tricky. ieoeja Oct 2012 #356

That seems like an awful lot 4th law of robotics Oct 2012 #357

As I said, we're talking psychology, not physics. ieoeja Oct 2012 #358

Even if you get in first, Ilsa Oct 2012 #360

What he asked was kind of weird, so honestly don't blame you for not saying anything. Though it's Proles Oct 2012 #366

Post removed Post removed Sep 2019 #371