When I was a child... [View all]

[Solly Mack]

People would sometimes come up to my mother and ask her if she was the "Nanny" of her own children. While young, we were all towheaded and had a much lighter skin hue. I've spoken of this before on DU.

My mother was darker than Meghan, Duchess of Sussex.

Later, when I was engaged, my future husband's mother - a manipulative perpetual victim - wondered what our kids would look like. Even bothered by the fact any children could have brown eyes.

My own eyes are so dark brown they look black. A co-worker once asked to touch my hair. I gave her a look - because, seriously? I let her though. I was curious about her reaction. She said it was soft. Said she was surprised because it looked all wiry and coarse. Figures. My skin is white.

As a couple, we have chosen to live around and connect primarily with my family. For obvious reasons. My husband and I have managed to limit our contact with his family. His decision as well as mine.

I fully believe there was speculation from within the royal family about the skin hue of Harry and Meghan's children.

I know it happens.

It cuts deeper than a lot of people can realize. It's racism, yes - but saying it is doesn't really tell the story.

That speculation is a sign of rejection. Not just of you but any future children, grandchildren, etc.. It hits all the discordant notes that form white supremacy. And they are all discordant notes.

That you're less, inferior, and not even really human. As everything known about humans is only applied to white people under the white supremacy ideology. Same with white privilege - everything (socially/culturally/economically/even medicine) based on white skin means how things shape/affect those without white skin are ignored. That you aren't even a consideration if you don't have white skin.

That white is better than you and always will be. That acceptance only comes, and even then given only provisionally, based on the color of your skin. Even still, you know you'll be mocked and scorned behind your back. Never good enough. Never equal. Never really "one of them". You know your children will be treated differently.

And this kills you inside. Not the lack of the inclusion so much as to the reasons why. It's soul crushing.

I hated the people who asked my mother if she was my Nanny. They treated a woman I worshiped as less. They smiled glowingly at me - at first. They looked at me differently once my mother told them in no uncertain terms that she was not the Nanny and gave them the - fuck you for entertaining the thought - look she did so well. Then they saw me as less as well. You could see the change play across their face.

I am who I am today because of my mother. For good or for ill, she was my primary influence, shaping how I see the world - and people. I didn't always agree with her, and still don't, but her voice is always there.


Meghan Markle chose to protect her children. To protect herself and her children. Her husband has done the same. To protect his family.

Because that's what you do when someone wonders what "color" your children will be. Because if it matters to them they will make for damn sure it becomes an issue for your children. They have let you know exactly what they think of you and exactly how they will treat your children.


This isn't really about the monarchy. The UK monarchy can die out or not, I don't care.


It's about the damage racism causes. It's about the harm and the pain it causes. It's about understanding precisely why you would keep your children away from such a toxic environment.

Thanks for listening.