General Discussion

Ilsa

(64,416 posts)

76. 2 approaches: 1.You may need to fight dirty with her, but it's risky.

Sun Mar 21, 2021, 08:54 PM

Mar 2021

Frame her for something small that gradually turns people against her. Convince others she is badmouthing them. Maybe you can get people to stop cooperating with her so she becomes ineffective.

2. Just the opposite: try to get management to move her to another "more important" job away from your group.

3. Break her legs. (Just kidding.)

I'm sorry I'm not much help. I personally don't always trust HR to handle problems vs looking for ways to fire the victim. Maybe you need to show her that you are pulling your weight, no matter what she says. I hope you can hang in long enough to see her get canned and humiliated. It's a shame management has let this go on for so long vs letting her establish a pattern of accepted abusive behavior.

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I'm being bullied at work [View all] XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 OP

go to HR. tell them u are retaining legal counsel and do that nt msongs Mar 2021 #1

I concur. Don't threaten. DO IT. hlthe2b Mar 2021 #7

Yes from me as well. AFTER you write down some notes. calimary Mar 2021 #24

YES! MEMOS for the record. Who, What was said, When, Where, Why (context) hlthe2b Mar 2021 #25

This too. In case you need one or more witnesses. calimary Mar 2021 #33

Phones are excellent recording devices these days, not only audio, but video. nt Blue_true Mar 2021 #80

I agree. The organization should be forced to live up to it's stated policy. nt Blue_true Mar 2021 #79

Thank you for confiding in us, XanaDUer2. Aristus Mar 2021 #2

thank you XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #9

crazy Skittles Mar 2021 #3

Thanks, Skittles XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #93

It could be the bully's husband has some clout with the company. thucythucy Mar 2021 #99

Can you record some of this abuse? Legal in your state? USALiberal Mar 2021 #4

This. Reader Rabbit Mar 2021 #28

Bullies are cowards Deuxcents Mar 2021 #5

Thank you XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #8

He may try Deuxcents Mar 2021 #11

If he does, file a harassment suit against him mcar Mar 2021 #41

get this XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #44

What? mcar Mar 2021 #46

I'm surrounded nt XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #50

Electronic evidence sounds like the way for you to go. Or a different job. gldstwmn Mar 2021 #67

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this Rorey Mar 2021 #6

Just quit and find another job MichMan Mar 2021 #10

Easy to say, but. . .have you noticed what has happened to our economy in the last four years? In niyad Mar 2021 #21

due to financial reasons XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #29

I rather figured that. niyad Mar 2021 #31

oops sorry XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #35

This is the cruelest part mcar Mar 2021 #43

Singing my song hamsterjill Mar 2021 #73

My sis is a retired HR professional mcar Mar 2021 #84

It's truly absurd. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #85

Document everything as you go. WhiskeyGrinder Mar 2021 #12

In my experience HR won't do anything. IcyPeas Mar 2021 #13

Her husband is a local big wig XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #14

Listen. You ARE NOT SCREWED. Blue_true Mar 2021 #81

HR is there to protect the company, not the employees. Mr.Bill Mar 2021 #20

I will agree with this. "Hostile work environment" is a real thing. CaptainTruth Mar 2021 #34

Yup, speak their language BradAllison Mar 2021 #86

Yes... that's usually true Dorian Gray Mar 2021 #94

If you want to stay Eko Mar 2021 #15

You've gotten more responsible advice than I might have expected Hortensis Mar 2021 #16

I was "relieved of my contract renewal" at the mere request of a meeting with HR to talk. CoopersDad Mar 2021 #17

Document everything, record where possible and trust no one Under The Radar Mar 2021 #18

I'm glad you posted here too and I like the suggestions about documentation and Maraya1969 Mar 2021 #19

Good luck. Just so you know, SSDI takes two years without any income mahina Mar 2021 #22

One of the reasons I need to keep the job XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #27

If you come to your boss with a copy of the book for her or him mahina Mar 2021 #59

Others have offered you some very good advice, and I hope it helps. I am glad that you know niyad Mar 2021 #23

There was a woman like that at my previous job. Buckeye_Democrat Mar 2021 #26

the middle of the room like, "Some people don't work hard here." I am at a higher level than she is luckone Mar 2021 #30

Thanks XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #32

Take care luckone Mar 2021 #36

I'm sorry seta1950 Mar 2021 #49

Document, document, document. TygrBright Mar 2021 #37

As there are 41 states, plus DC, that are one-party consent states, BobTheSubgenius Mar 2021 #38

I think her boss is at a loss XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #39

She should not go to HR without an attorney. Blue_true Mar 2021 #83

That is quite distressing. BobTheSubgenius Mar 2021 #103

Yes, it is. nt Blue_true Mar 2021 #104

Document everything, go to HR mcar Mar 2021 #40

Is everyone there afraid of the local politician ? JI7 Mar 2021 #42

yes, he's on our work screensavers XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #47

1. LAWYER FIRST. Get a phone number and call in the morning FROM OUTSIDE the company. Tetrachloride Mar 2021 #45

Buy some mirror sunglasses. Tetrachloride Mar 2021 #52

I don't have any suggestions not already mentioned here, except ShazzieB Mar 2021 #48

Great advice so far. The only thing I can add is there is strength in numbers. Beastly Boy Mar 2021 #51

thanks, bizarrely I think due to her connections XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #53

Put the complaint in writing to HR. Throck Mar 2021 #54

Definitely go to HR. Document everything they say and do. If it doesn't stop, report your ancianita Mar 2021 #55

Lawyer up. Go to HR. IN that order. PatrickforB Mar 2021 #56

I like this advice, as it's the same I gave to our oldest daughter when she was being bullied by a phylny Mar 2021 #77

I sympathize with you. Yavin4 Mar 2021 #57

I didn't read all the post yet, but simple solution. Dan Mar 2021 #58

She had better find out what the policy is on recording conversations etc. in the company. Liberal In Texas Mar 2021 #60

So sorry that you are having to deal with this. First thing-talk to a lawyer. Maybe more than one. 58Sunliner Mar 2021 #61

record the harassment whistler162 Mar 2021 #62

I feel for you IzzaNuDay Mar 2021 #63

I retired 3 years early, to escape a bully Siwsan Mar 2021 #64

Sorry to hear that. BTDT. It's amazing how so many people raccoon Mar 2021 #65

Cell phones can record everything these days. gldstwmn Mar 2021 #66

There is great advice all through this OP. Delmette2.0 Mar 2021 #68

Get a lawyer Soph0571 Mar 2021 #69

Think carefully about SSDI, it doesn't pay much, bullying Republicans think disabled people will Warpy Mar 2021 #70

If your state allows secret recording, I'd do that. If not, pull out a recorder or your phone & catbyte Mar 2021 #71

Seems to me given your job requirements Wash. state Desk Jet Mar 2021 #72

I feel for you. I've been bullied in a couple of my jobs. This thread Cafe Cat Mar 2021 #74

Imho, she's the problem, sure, but that sounds like a shitty place to work overall. Oneironaut Mar 2021 #75

2 approaches: 1.You may need to fight dirty with her, but it's risky. Ilsa Mar 2021 #76

How I handled a bully in the workplace megapuzzler Mar 2021 #78

EarlG can help you reactivate your old account if you reach out to him here: Brother Buzz Mar 2021 #88

thanks for the heads up and welcome back megapuzzler Mar 2021 #101

That's a wonderful story. NNadir Mar 2021 #102

I worked for a woman who I truly believe is mentally ill. hamsterjill Mar 2021 #82

Do this when others are within earshot. LuckyCharms Mar 2021 #87

Narcissists live to make others suffer I_UndergroundPanther Mar 2021 #89

You'll probably need a lawyer to get SSDI. See if the same one can help you with this. Patterson Mar 2021 #90

I've got a disability lawyrt XanaDUer2 Mar 2021 #92

Wow so sorry Meowmee Mar 2021 #91

My best and most realistic advice: Dorian Gray Mar 2021 #95

Great advice here, only one thing to add: GreenEyedLefty Mar 2021 #96

I am concerned EndlessWire Mar 2021 #97

Not certain how you feel about this, but UpInArms Mar 2021 #98

If it's legal to record - record. Document EVERYTHING. Then get a lawyer and go to HR CousinIT Mar 2021 #100