Yeah, Ryan. I remember the first ultrasound where we saw a fetal heartbeat too.

[ReasonableToo]

54. A nurse shared words of wisdom & what would happen if...

We lost a pregnancy at 36 weeks. It was a stillbirth rather than a miscarriage. There was some drama with ultrasounds that revealed that the umbilical cord was not working properly and one of his kidney's was not functioning. We had an appointment to see a neonatal urologist to figure out what we'd have to do once the baby was born but he did not make it past 36 weeks.

I was on bed-rest for the last few weeks but also had a 1 yr old to take care of. On the fateful day, the person who was going to help me out with my 1 yr old did not show up so I was up on my feet more than I should have been. When I got my 1 yr old settled for a morning nap, I noticed the baby wasn't active. At the hospital, the doctor could not find a heartbeat.

First, for all the people who are dealing with miscarriage or still birth, I want to share something the nurse at the hospital warned us of. She said that some couples pull away from each other as if they have to deal with this on their own and that assigning blame on yourself or the other person is not helpful. Armed with the warnings, we made sure that we leaned on each other rather than away from each other. After lots of tears and hugs we made it though the grieving time. And, when the day finally does comes that you don't think of the child you lost, don't feel guilty about that. Let yourself heal.

I am vehemently pro-choice because I think that if abortion were illegal - even with limited exceptions, MANY things will happen in addition to the return of "back alley" abortions and women dying of horrible complications:

In honor of Sesame Street, do you remember the cartoon with the girl holding a balloon with a cat nearby when she ask "What would happen if I popped this balloon?" Here's what will happen if we pop the Rove v Wade balloon...

1.) The rich and well-connected will still have access to safe and discrete abortions.

2.) Some women who experience miscarriages and stillbirths will be subject to scrutiny. Imagine the miscreant Akin talking about a "legitimate miscarriage." Imagine prosecutors determining if there's enough evidence to press charges against a grieving woman. I often wonder if my situation would be suspect. Would someone second guess my decision to take care of my 1 yr old and press charges for murder because I didn't follow doctor's orders for bed rest?

3.) Some women who are raped will be accused of falsifying testimony in order to have an abortion.

4.) Some women who get pregnant through consensual sex will falsely accuse their partner of rape in order to have an abortion.

5.) More children will be born into loveless homes where they are neglected and abused.

6.) More children will be found cut up and stuffed in freezers or buried in shallow graves because their parent(s) (or grandparents or other caregiver) are not equipped to take care of them.

7.) The court system will be overwhelmed with contested cases and the clock will run out for many women that "qualify" for an abortion.

8.) Men will be widowers when they lose their wives to things like ectopic pregnancies (I bet Akin doesn't even know what that is) or treatable cancer. (If no medical exception.)

9.) Rapists' DNA will be passed on along (more than it already is) with all the mental illnesses that led to them being rapists in the first place. (Evolution is supposed to work against this but what do we expect if the lawmakers don't believe in evolution.)

10.) Worth repeating...The rich and well-connected will continue to have access to safe and discrete abortions.

I really think that the way to reduce abortions is to have insurance for all with contraception covered and a great prenatal care program; have a good low cost adoption system; have financial support for single women and low income families that provides a healthy and safe environment to raise a child and have community programs that supports kids and teens so that they are not left on their own while their parents are working.

I really am so SICK of the simultaneous positions that every fetus is sacred AND once a child is born into a less than ideal situation, that people should take care of themselves without being "moochers" or the mother should have not gotten pregnant in the first place if she couldn't take care of the kid.

I think Biden addressed this well in the debate. He wouldn't impose his judgement on others.