General Discussion

niyad

(132,468 posts)

6. Thank you for this heavy, heartfelt, and no doubt difficult post, MM. The death industry is

Wed Apr 28, 2021, 10:30 AM

Apr 2021

disgustingly profitable, counting on peoplek's pain and distress.

A friend and I were discussing this very issue last night. She is paying on one of those cremation plans, and another friend thinks that is terrible, ghoulish and negative. But it is the correct thing to do. She does not want her son burdened as you described.

"The American Way Of Death", as Jessica Mitford put it, is beyond bizarre, an obscenity.

Please know how touched and grateful we are that you can share part of this difficult journey with your DU family. Please remember to take good care of yourself.

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One More Reason to Pre-Plan Your Funeral and to Consider Cremation [View all] MineralMan Apr 2021 OP

Thank you. piddyprints Apr 2021 #1

I don't begrudge my parents for not doing the arrangements. MineralMan Apr 2021 #9

MM I am so sorry you have gone through this. AllyCat Apr 2021 #53

Fortunately, my parents had receive the stimulus payment MineralMan Apr 2021 #66

Thank you. Good info. Just weird how the stimulus was supposed to go to anyone alive through AllyCat Apr 2021 #82

You can get a FREE grave marker or tombstone for your loved one if they served in the military. Farmer-Rick Apr 2021 #83

That's true, and I checked into that. MineralMan Apr 2021 #84

Sorry to hear that. Farmer-Rick May 2021 #99

Told my Children 4Q2u2 Apr 2021 #2

Right on point exboyfil Apr 2021 #3

Here we have the Memorial Society of Georgia... Phentex Apr 2021 #4

I wrote a note in huge letters exboyfil Apr 2021 #12

One of the problems is that the funeral home industry has consolidated MineralMan Apr 2021 #24

Cremation definitely. After dealing with funeral homes at least 4 times in my life, never want to Hoyt Apr 2021 #5

I shut down the funeral home's upselling efforts instantly. MineralMan Apr 2021 #15

LOL jmbar2 Apr 2021 #32

There you go! MineralMan Apr 2021 #42

Frigging disgusting jmbar2 Apr 2021 #46

In many places, funeral homes are a monopoly. MineralMan Apr 2021 #51

My family is pretty stingy with funerals jmbar2 Apr 2021 #56

It seems to be a racket pandr32 Apr 2021 #47

Depending upon where you live... SergeStorms Apr 2021 #73

Thank you for this heavy, heartfelt, and no doubt difficult post, MM. The death industry is niyad Apr 2021 #6

I'm doing fine. Thanks very much. MineralMan Apr 2021 #21

Your posts will remain as excellent guidelines for years on DU jmbar2 Apr 2021 #34

I will be very glad if that is the case. MineralMan Apr 2021 #36

It is. I'm taking mental notes on some of your posts. Dream Girl Apr 2021 #58

Thanks! While they're really off-topic for DU's GD forum, MineralMan Apr 2021 #67

My husband and I know we want cremation. I need to research where and how to get this started Dream Girl Apr 2021 #70

The Neptune Society is good. MineralMan Apr 2021 #80

My wife and I purchased a cremation plan Dan Apr 2021 #61

My parents planned and paid for their funerals back in the 90s MissMillie Apr 2021 #7

My body will be donated to Research for Life ChazII Apr 2021 #8

That's a wonderful plan. MLAA Apr 2021 #13

You are welcome. ChazII Apr 2021 #92

Thank you. One of my children has NF1. kiranon Apr 2021 #88

May is Neurofibromatosis Awareness ChazII Apr 2021 #93

Kick dalton99a Apr 2021 #10

If you really want to be environmentally conscious sarisataka Apr 2021 #11

I read about that briefly recently. I'll go back and read more. Thanks. MLAA Apr 2021 #14

Such a thing is not available where my parents lived, nor MineralMan Apr 2021 #16

It has only been approved sarisataka Apr 2021 #22

I really like the idea exboyfil Apr 2021 #20

Green burials are gradually becoming more available bcool Apr 2021 #30

that is my first wish. Put me in the ground and plant a tree on top. demigoddess Apr 2021 #38

+1 pandr32 Apr 2021 #48

We have plots Danmel Apr 2021 #17

Um, I don't care... brooklynite Apr 2021 #18

That's my attitude Silent3 Apr 2021 #25

I want whatever's the cheapest way to dispose of my carcass. lagomorph777 Apr 2021 #19

I pre-arranged Turbineguy Apr 2021 #23

I am definitely being cremated. My mom wanted the same thing. We still were able to bury her ashes SweetieD Apr 2021 #26

Green burial central scrutinizer Apr 2021 #27

Thank you for sharing that. MineralMan Apr 2021 #28

It was about the only positive aspect of a terminal diagnosis. central scrutinizer Apr 2021 #41

Yes. My mother had advanced Alzheimer's and died at home in hospice care. MineralMan Apr 2021 #43

What a wonderful way to send her off jmbar2 Apr 2021 #35

That is so poignant and beautiful. You both moonscape May 2021 #100

READ THIS MM! yewberry Apr 2021 #29

I understand. Sadly, if the need comes before the planning, MineralMan Apr 2021 #44

I am going to Spain when I die. CTyankee Apr 2021 #31

My wishes, which my wife knows, are for my ashes MineralMan Apr 2021 #45

I researched MA's law regarding ashes in the waterway arond the VINYARD and there were none. CTyankee Apr 2021 #71

Even if there are laws against it, those laws are not actively enforced. MineralMan Apr 2021 #81

I'll tell my son in law. I'll see them over july 4 weekend and that'l make a nice CTyankee Apr 2021 #91

Thank you so much for your post. Is cremation covered by VA or Ilsa Apr 2021 #33

There is a VA death benefit. It's not enough to cover the cost MineralMan Apr 2021 #49

I have placed several calls to our regional Ilsa Apr 2021 #95

I have been reading abut these living urns Tree Lady Apr 2021 #37

There was a man in my grief support group central scrutinizer Apr 2021 #39

My plans are easy: no obit, no funeral, no urn. Cremate me, stuff me in a box and Vinca Apr 2021 #40

My husband and I will be cremated. marie999 Apr 2021 #50

My father had VA life insurance, as well. MineralMan Apr 2021 #52

I'll settle for cremation.. Harker Apr 2021 #54

Ah yes, the 'Death Care' industry Blue Owl Apr 2021 #55

Did the word "cremains" come up? Harker Apr 2021 #60

my parents donated their bodies to science Hamlette Apr 2021 #57

I found an organization here that was unbelievably good when it was my father's time. BobTheSubgenius Apr 2021 #59

A little anecdote I just LOVE. BobTheSubgenius Apr 2021 #65

That's wonderful! MineralMan Apr 2021 #68

Thank you, from me and on her behalf. BobTheSubgenius Apr 2021 #87

I'm going to plan my own funeral and put money into an account for it TlalocW Apr 2021 #62

I've let my loved ones know I want my remains scattered from a plane over San Francisco NullTuples Apr 2021 #63

That's great!!! Love it! displacedtexan Apr 2021 #72

I would like my ashes scattered someplace I love to hike Martin Eden Apr 2021 #64

Another good thing about cremation is that ashes don't all have to go MineralMan Apr 2021 #76

So much better than a concrete sarcophagus Martin Eden Apr 2021 #89

I would add to that and say go DIRECTLY to the crematorium harumph Apr 2021 #69

KnR Hekate Apr 2021 #74

I have had a range of experience between 4 deaths. Delmette2.0 Apr 2021 #75

Good points. MineralMan Apr 2021 #79

I'm donating my body to a local medical school. nt Javaman Apr 2021 #77

This message was self-deleted by its author Delmette2.0 Apr 2021 #78

First of all... WinstonSmith4740 Apr 2021 #85

Just wanted to add my thanks Colorado Liberal Apr 2021 #86

I told my kids I want to be cremated. They can go out to lunch or something but I don't Luciferous Apr 2021 #90

my father passed away 15 years ago and made ALL the arrangements. He mercifully had it all planned FlyingPiggy Apr 2021 #94

Do your family another favor jmowreader Apr 2021 #96

Yes, absolutely. MineralMan Apr 2021 #98

My dad was still alive when my mom died and took care of the arrangments dsc Apr 2021 #97