Anti-Masker Arrested at Costco -- It's "All My Fault"

[jsabrown]

128. Sorry this happened to you.

My modest suggestions, already offered above:

1) See to your injuries.
2) See to your mental health; getting blindsided like that is really traumatic.
3) Stand firm on the charges. Go to court.
4) Pursue your options through an attorney.
5) Tell rusty JB says be extra nice to you. Flowers an' stuff.

My two cents:

In all those things, listen with compassion and watch for opportunities for mercy. That doesn't mean you roll over and let them off the hook, but sometimes a little kindness can do much more than punishment.

My friend's autistic teenage son was assaulted at a public bus stop. The attacker grabbed his prescription eyeglasses and stomped them, destroying them. Plenty of witnesses and camera footage meant the attacker was tracked down in short order.

In the end, my friend and her son met w/ the teenager who had done the deed along with the attacker's father in a police-arbitrated conference. Turns out the father had lost his job and their rental home a couple months prior. The family of four was living in a single low-grade hotel room, wondering every day if they'd be on the street the next. The attacker, a HS kid, was forced to work to provide money to keep the roof over their heads and food in their bellies. He didn't get any time to be a kid, to play sports at school, socialize, etc.

The attacker had no history of violent behavior. He was clearly deeply ashamed, as was his father. Both apologized for the attack.

In the end, my friend's son declined to press any charges or even ask for the replacement of his eyeglasses, which he and his mamma could not so easily afford. In my friend's words, "there really is such a thing as the school-to-prison pipeline, and this kid was staring down the throat of the thing." "Maybe this allows him to avoid it; maybe it swallows up him anyway, but in this one moment we were not complicit."

Trauma begets trauma. Remember that you don't know what happened to that woman before you met her at Costco, and simple vengeance can serve to make matters worse. If you can see a way to break the cycle, I promise it's worth it. If only for your own soul. (I'm atheist; I don't believe in souls, but you know what I mean.)

Good on ya, lady. Gentle vibes and loving juju pointed your way.

JB