aeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyiiii! Giant cockroach runs around on reporter's shoulders during live broadcast.

[liberalmuse]

7. I lived in Vegas.

This is one of those things where you question what you are seeing. Did this really happen?

I know the cockroach and have studied it. It can live weeks without food and many days without water. It can collapse to the width of a dime to move into those small spaces. When I moved into a new place, the groundskeepers were digging up palms - you know, landscaping? "Waterbugs", aka "Cockroaches" decided to flee exodus from the palms to our homes. I was tired of seeing these HUGE "waterbugs" (you've got to be fucking kidding me? Waterbugs?), so I sealed all the dry goods in my kitchen in airtight containers, silicone caulked my base boards and mixed boric acid w/powered sugar to take care of the rest. It was very sinister and premeditated, and yes, I feel like a mass murderer, but they never crawled in bed with me again, and I slept well after my assault, dammit.