General Discussion

luvtheGWN

(1,343 posts)

31. Several years ago (17 to be exact),

Thu Oct 21, 2021, 10:08 AM

Oct 2021

a brilliant neuroscientist colleague, just before Christmas, told me that when he came back in January, he would from then on be referred to as female. Fortunately, his first name was such that all he had to do was add an "e" and slightly change the pronunciation.

Needless to say, this came as quite a shock to all of us. But happy to say that not one person questioned him, nor did I ever hear any snide remarks behind his back.

It took awhile to remember to refer to the former "him" as a "her", but we did. We got used to "her" dressing as a female, and it wasn't long before we couldn't really remember (or want to) her before the change.

Personal matters (religion, politics, income, gender preference etc.) are just that: PERSONAL. It's no business of mine to question or complain or criticize someone else's personal matter. Unless it's people who refuse to get vaccinated........

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Highlight:

To the handful of DUers who haven't figured this out yet: [View all] EarlG Oct 2021 OP

Thank you JustAnotherGen Oct 2021 #1

He's wrong on the misogyny too, 2Gingersnaps Oct 2021 #74

On Dave Chappelle... Lokilooney Oct 2021 #185

And what everyone defending this bit fail to get... IngridsLittleAngel Oct 2021 #188

Melissa Dahn sharing Daphne's roommate's post about Chapplle... IngridsLittleAngel Oct 2021 #189

Not the refutation you think it is. Not even close. NullTuples Oct 2021 #191

No. It's not. IngridsLittleAngel Oct 2021 #192

I watched JustAnotherGen Oct 2021 #202

K&R stonecutter357 Oct 2021 #2

Yes. Elessar Zappa Oct 2021 #3

+1! Cracklin Charlie Oct 2021 #41

Thanks! MineralMan Oct 2021 #4

5 stars. BeckyDem Oct 2021 #5

Preach! lillypaddle Oct 2021 #6

Excuse me, but as a general rule, sincere requests for enlightenment should be respected. MrModerate Oct 2021 #7

How about this idea, if a POC person says, that is a racist statement Mr Moderate, you go Oh! irisblue Oct 2021 #12

I dunno. That doesn't look like open discussion to me. MrModerate Oct 2021 #19

Tell you what, I'm going to suggest you look up SeaLioning irisblue Oct 2021 #38

Never heard of sealioning before. Ain't the internet grand? MrModerate Oct 2021 #42

People who are genuinely asking innocent, sincere questions shouldn't have a problem EarlG Oct 2021 #60

Post removed Post removed Oct 2021 #63

BINGO obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #53

And that was a real time example right there irisblue Oct 2021 #68

I doubt you'll be getting that DU Mail! George II Oct 2021 #75

Lol! demmiblue Oct 2021 #76

I love this old cartoon that illustrates the concept so well... hlthe2b Oct 2021 #78

Actually, that cartoon billh58 Oct 2021 #137

Yes... that's why I posted it. Perfect. hlthe2b Oct 2021 #138

Thanks billh58 Oct 2021 #139

Textbook case here ibegurpard Oct 2021 #158

Should we have open discussion about why a man can rape his wife? obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #51

Post removed Post removed Oct 2021 #57

lol obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #62

AWFUL Example!!! POC don't universally agree on what is racist AllTooEasy Oct 2021 #102

Did you see any where in my post this..."POC don't universally agree on what is racist" irisblue Oct 2021 #103

Agree Johnny2X2X Oct 2021 #14

Very good point. It's news to me too that we can't ask questions here. Doodley Oct 2021 #15

Bullshit. You were arguing the point AND hiding behind your "kid" to do so. Hassin Bin Sober Oct 2021 #186

A lot of the posts he's talking about Elessar Zappa Oct 2021 #16

Post removed Post removed Oct 2021 #20

Arguing Elessar Zappa Oct 2021 #26

YES obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #54

Why? Sur Zobra Oct 2021 #95

Trans women are women obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #97

Transgender students protected at school by Title IX, Department of Education says Celerity Oct 2021 #105

Yes, I know about Title 9. Elessar Zappa Oct 2021 #130

But isn't that a different problem than what EarlG is describing? MrModerate Oct 2021 #24

From the few I've seen... yep. n/t demmiblue Oct 2021 #28

you can do that by reading and keeping your mouth shut. mopinko Oct 2021 #25

Yeah. I'd reread that TOS if I were you. n/t MrModerate Oct 2021 #30

She doesn't need to n/t obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #55

Post removed Post removed Oct 2021 #59

And maybe it isn't EarlG Oct 2021 #27

Agreed. Baiting people is bad, full stop. And your links are helpful. Thanks. MrModerate Oct 2021 #36

This is the problem with sincere expressions of unknowingness... Caliman73 Oct 2021 #85

This message was self-deleted by its author irisblue Oct 2021 #46

Thank you, Earl, for this excellent summation! yardwork Oct 2021 #194

THIS Takket Oct 2021 #33

While this is a good place to get answers FreeState Oct 2021 #115

How about not asking it cloaked in bigotry, okay? obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #49

Post removed Post removed Oct 2021 #52

uh huh obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #56

It really isn't discussion that we might need... radical noodle Oct 2021 #50

So, maybe the response to an innocent/ignorant question is: "Check out these links"... MrModerate Oct 2021 #61

That Would Be One Response RobinA Oct 2021 #207

I agree LeftInTX Oct 2021 #177

Agreed n/t Devil Child Oct 2021 #71

Excuse me wryter2000 Oct 2021 #116

And... case in point ibegurpard Oct 2021 #157

Thank you Earl G irisblue Oct 2021 #8

Agree. There is a lot of catching up to do in society, but I'd like to think DUers would be hlthe2b Oct 2021 #9

Thank you. peacefreak2.0 Oct 2021 #10

"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal..." Hortensis Oct 2021 #11

Post removed Post removed Oct 2021 #209

Strange reaction to our Declaration of Independence. Hortensis Oct 2021 #211

I fully support trans people. That means that I recognize that there are many issues that Doodley Oct 2021 #13

What does this mean? Are you implying Lindsey Graham is gay? Doodley Oct 2021 #17

No. Elessar Zappa Oct 2021 #22

He is a Graham Cracker. twodogsbarking Oct 2021 #18

Well said, thank you. Roisin Ni Fiachra Oct 2021 #21

Amen! I saw a little bit of this, but my ignore list is healthy... demmiblue Oct 2021 #23

I remember that exact exchange(s) obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #58

I wonder Tree-Hugger Oct 2021 #198

Sorry with was necessary for you to post this, but so glad you did Thanks Cozmo Oct 2021 #29

Several years ago (17 to be exact), luvtheGWN Oct 2021 #31

Thank you! DU has some really nasty discriminatory anti trans content, from a few users. (Nt) FreepFryer Oct 2021 #32

Who repeatedly insist that it's not transphobic. n/t Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #143

Thank you Wild blueberry Oct 2021 #34

Thank you EarlG MuseRider Oct 2021 #35

I agree with bulk of what you have to say however Handler Oct 2021 #37

"Respectful questions" being the operative phrase EarlG Oct 2021 #45

As a cis het white person wryter2000 Oct 2021 #119

Thanks cate94 Oct 2021 #39

Thank you so much for addressing the issue head on. Metatron Oct 2021 #40

Unfortunately.... DFW Oct 2021 #43

Thank you, EarlG! IrishAfricanAmerican Oct 2021 #44

Thank you so much, Earl obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #47

I was amazed by the support I saw here recently for Chappelle's bigoted comments. BlackSkimmer Oct 2021 #113

I was also amazed at all the support Cuomo got here wryter2000 Oct 2021 #120

Yes, I remember that. BlackSkimmer Oct 2021 #150

Same Tree-Hugger Oct 2021 #199

That and Rowling's support shocked me obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #121

kick blogslug Oct 2021 #48

My philosophy on the matter... Hugin Oct 2021 #64

Thank you. Pinback Oct 2021 #65

Kick. MontanaMama Oct 2021 #66

Kick! mcar Oct 2021 #67

Glad this was said! BumRushDaShow Oct 2021 #69

K&R, thank you, EarlG. PunkinPi Oct 2021 #70

Thank you! Spazito Oct 2021 #72

Hear! Hear! marble falls Oct 2021 #73

A big KICK bluestarone Oct 2021 #77

I appreciate the post, I think I a different adjective than trans would help, claim seems to be the ShazamIam Oct 2021 #79

It has nothing to do with transferring identity Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #144

I appreciate the feedback, I don't think at the heat of it we disagree and the one thing I am firmly ShazamIam Oct 2021 #212

Seriously, you are going to wander in and suggest trans people stop using "trans"? NullTuples Oct 2021 #168

Thank you kindly for you view, I stated why and what my idea is. I don't mind disagreement and I ShazamIam Oct 2021 #206

This isn't just just a "disagreement" about two equal opinions thrown out on a whim. NullTuples Oct 2021 #208

My aim is to further understanding and acceptance, and opinions are always subjective and facts ShazamIam Oct 2021 #210

Post removed Post removed Oct 2021 #214

Curious question though I admit I have spent a lot of recent years trying to learn exactly what it ShazamIam Oct 2021 #215

And I think that trans people should be called what they want to be called. How about that? ShazzieB Oct 2021 #173

Thank you LetMyPeopleVote Oct 2021 #80

K&R Solly Mack Oct 2021 #81

So Zeitghost Oct 2021 #82

Interesting hypothetical topic you describe there EarlG Oct 2021 #88

I have seen the issue brought up here Zeitghost Oct 2021 #96

It's not a hypothetical. It's our lives. Sympthsical Oct 2021 #125

If you want to have that conversation on DU EarlG Oct 2021 #134

This is news to me, as a lesbian. yardwork Oct 2021 #196

As a lesbian, I'm curious about why you singled out gay people in this question? yardwork Oct 2021 #195

Thank you, EarlG Chautauquas Oct 2021 #83

Agreed. n/t Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #145

As someone who has asked a question I thought respectful and was removed... LakeArenal Oct 2021 #84

K&R! frogmarch Oct 2021 #86

What is there to figure out? Lady Freedom Returns Oct 2021 #87

The terminology has been "fluid" from the MSM. LeftInTX Oct 2021 #122

As a trans person...I have never, not once heard that particular distinction from our community. NullTuples Oct 2021 #171

I heard it on CNN...maybe I misheard, I don't know... LeftInTX Oct 2021 #174

Opps...the mainstream media did not use the world "fluid"... LeftInTX Oct 2021 #178

Yes, that is quite bewildering. NullTuples Oct 2021 #180

Paraphrasing Morgan Freeman: BobTheSubgenius Oct 2021 #89

Good information for the rest of us too to help understand better. LiberalFighter Oct 2021 #90

Thanks! Voltaire2 Oct 2021 #91

And in other threads obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #98

Structural bias FreeState Oct 2021 #128

I raised that very issue Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #147

It worked obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #164

THANK YOU!!!!! ismnotwasm Oct 2021 #92

Thanks, EarlG. Proud to be DUer. n/t TygrBright Oct 2021 #93

Re: Lindsey Graham Jokes Vogon_Glory Oct 2021 #94

Message auto-removed Name removed Oct 2021 #99

Bravo! greatauntoftriplets Oct 2021 #100

My thought in all of this is why do people care what one does with their own body? RFCalifornia Oct 2021 #101

Awesome OP. Thank You! Tommymac Oct 2021 #104

Bookmarked. Needs to be pinned somewhere if it's not already. Thank you, EarG. nt Hekate Oct 2021 #106

Thank you EarlG. I consider it bigotry pure and simple-both the trans issue and the Lindsey Graham Demsrule86 Oct 2021 #107

Thanks I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2021 #108

K&R! gademocrat7 Oct 2021 #109

Thank you wendyb-NC Oct 2021 #110

#thankyou riversedge Oct 2021 #111

K&R spanone Oct 2021 #112

May I also add wryter2000 Oct 2021 #114

This. BlackSkimmer Oct 2021 #117

+1 demmiblue Oct 2021 #118

cosign obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #123

Agreed! Initech Oct 2021 #124

+1 MustLoveBeagles Oct 2021 #153

+1 nt Tree-Hugger Oct 2021 #200

Thank you EarlG - this needs to be said FakeNoose Oct 2021 #126

How in the world did you manage to slip in that you think it's a choice, that many times? NullTuples Oct 2021 #172

Yeah, really. ShazzieB Oct 2021 #175

Aggression is fueled by fear. In this case, it's the fear of one's own sexuality that some are TeamProg Oct 2021 #127

Thank you... IngridsLittleAngel Oct 2021 #129

The OP pokes a stick into the bloated roadside carcass of bigotry. jaxexpat Oct 2021 #131

As one of the people who might've fanned a few flames, I wanna touch on "questions" IngridsLittleAngel Oct 2021 #132

This is an incredible post, and probably should be an OP itself. Beartracks Oct 2021 #159

This is awesome! "Don't put people on the spot." There it is. yardwork Oct 2021 #197

Sir, yes sir. calimary Oct 2021 #133

I do love you. Scrivener7 Oct 2021 #135

I've never understood billh58 Oct 2021 #136

LOL at the selfimportant examples that just have to show their asses Kali Oct 2021 #140

THANK YOU!!! And now that we have your attention, Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #141

100% second all of this obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #152

What is a 24-hour alert time out? Never heard of it. Kaleva Oct 2021 #166

If you alert on a post Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #170

Thanks! I didn't know that. Kaleva Oct 2021 #203

You don't get a message, Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #216

Yes. But not limited to homophobia/transphobia. Blatant misogynistic posts have long been similar in hlthe2b Oct 2021 #222

Agreed as to misogynistic posts. Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #224

Well said, EarlG Patton French Oct 2021 #142

While we're at it, accusations of small penis size shouldn't be the go-to way of... Silent3 Oct 2021 #146

Agreed. n/t Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #148

I agree MustLoveBeagles Oct 2021 #154

That really has nothing to do with this thread. Scrivener7 Oct 2021 #161

agree. hlthe2b Oct 2021 #223

Hell, fucking, yes /nt al bupp Oct 2021 #149

OUTSTANDING POST Skittles Oct 2021 #151

Thank you MustLoveBeagles Oct 2021 #155

Cracking great move, EarlG. Duncan Grant Oct 2021 #156

Dude, I have three family members that are trans and you are vastly oversimplifying the issue. Joe Nation Oct 2021 #160

Tirade?! obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #165

Here is a good article for anyone interested FreeState Oct 2021 #169

Please note that spectrumnews is run by an anti-autistic organization NullTuples Oct 2021 #182

That's not true FreeState Oct 2021 #183

They are solely funded by the Simons Foundation NullTuples Oct 2021 #190

Thanks for the article Joe Nation Oct 2021 #213

Dude, you aren't trans or autistic. Your concern trolling / sealioning is not at all appreciated. NullTuples Oct 2021 #181

I agree about what reeks obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #193

The poster is anti-ABA FreeState Oct 2021 #204

Ahhhh obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #217

ABA is gay conversion therapy adapted for autistics NullTuples Oct 2021 #219

I alerted on it yesterday. Kaleva Oct 2021 #205

At no point did I say that trans kids are just autistic. Joe Nation Oct 2021 #218

C'mon this is really, really getting offensive! Please stop. NullTuples Oct 2021 #220

But you ARE trans and autistic? Joe Nation Oct 2021 #221

K & R - nt Ohio Joe Oct 2021 #162

If anyone makes it this far down...... BidenRocks Oct 2021 #163

Yup, this is often true obamanut2012 Oct 2021 #167

👏👏👏 Orangepeel Oct 2021 #176

Respect. jcgoldie Oct 2021 #179

Thank you for this. icymist Oct 2021 #184

Post removed Post removed Oct 2021 #187

Kick! Tree-Hugger Oct 2021 #201

Kicking to remind posters of what EarlG said obamanut2012 Mar 2022 #225

Kicking... IngridsLittleAngel Apr 2022 #226