Psychologist shares beautiful advice for talking to people with dementia [View all]

[NurseJackie]

This is what we eventually ended up doing with my sister... it served no good purpose to continually remind her that Mom and Dad were gone. When she asked about them (or other beloved relatives), we'd lie and say they were fine. Or "last time I spoke to her she was doing fine" or "they're still back in [Hometown]"

https://www.upworthy.com/psychologist-advice-people-dementia

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Psychologist David McPhee shared some advice with a person on Quora who asked, "How do I answer my dad with dementia when he talks about his mom and dad being alive? Do I go along with it or tell him they have passed away?"

McPhee wrote:

"Enter into his reality and enjoy it. He doesn't need to be 'oriented.' Thank God the days are gone when people with advanced dementia were tortured by huge calendars and reminder signs and loved ones were urged to 'orient' them to some boring current 'reality.'

If dad spends most of his time in 1959, sit with him. Ask questions he didn't have time for before. Ask about people long dead, but alive to him, learn, celebrate your heritage. His parents are alive to him. Learn more about your grandparents. If he tells the same story over and over, appreciate it as if it's music, and you keep coming back to the beautiful refrain.

This isn't 'playing along to pacify the old guy,' this is an opportunity to communicate and treasure memories real but out of time."

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