General Discussion

BeerBarrelPolka

(2,173 posts)

21. I appreciate it

Mon Oct 25, 2021, 10:07 AM

Oct 2021

You understand. basically no one out here where I live does. Like you've written, they all seem to have some smart ass advice. Most of it is hire a caregiver. First off, where are not able to financially. Secondly, the local agency tried to get my mom a caregiver during Covid lockdown. They either never showed up, showed up once and never came back, or came once in a blue moon. So the local agency couldn't do more for us to help.

Thanks for your input. It means something to me.

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Highlight:

Psychologist shares beautiful advice for talking to people with dementia [View all] NurseJackie Oct 2021 OP

Hearing the same stories over and over. Like music. I like that Walleye Oct 2021 #1

At first I tried to orient my dad to what day it was or what was going on in the world blueinredohio Oct 2021 #2

I've been BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #3

That's a heavy burden. Sorry you're going through that. NurseJackie Oct 2021 #4

Thank You BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #5

Please accept a virtual hug and support in your extremely difficult situation. Many here niyad Oct 2021 #12

This means a lot BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #14

I don't think most people get the situation. plimsoll Oct 2021 #20

I appreciate it BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #21

I'm sorry you've got this going on. MontanaMama Oct 2021 #36

Thank you BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #38

I feel for you KT2000 Oct 2021 #58

Thanks Very Much BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #59

This is so hard to read... I can't imagine what it's like to live it renate Oct 2021 #64

Thank You Renate BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #66

It takes a lot of courage. And in the end, we never know what we're capable of doing... NurseJackie Oct 2021 #73

You're BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #76

I know you've already looked into all the resources available, so I hate to ask renate Oct 2021 #82

Thanks BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #83

You're a sweetheart! renate Oct 2021 #95

Update BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #103

That's absolutely terrible news renate Oct 2021 #104

Yes BeerBarrelPolka Nov 2021 #105

Very big virtual hugs and sympathy GeoWilliam750 Oct 2021 #74

Awesome BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #77

All my sympathy, BeerBarrelPolka. calimary Oct 2021 #87

I just posted about this on the cilla4progress Oct 2021 #92

Thank You BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #98

Will hold you in cilla4progress Oct 2021 #93

Thank you BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #99

Good post, NJ. brer cat Oct 2021 #6

I hope everyone agrees. NurseJackie Oct 2021 #7

My hubby experiences tragic news events over and over. SleeplessinSoCal Oct 2021 #70

I can relate. Tracer Oct 2021 #8

It is tricky BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #9

At one time we'd tell her the truth... and she'd grieve all over again. NurseJackie Oct 2021 #10

I BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #11

Thanks. She's 100% bedridden and recently transitioned to hospice care. NurseJackie Oct 2021 #13

Understood BeerBarrelPolka Oct 2021 #15

I heard a fascinating TED talk on memory Random Boomer Oct 2021 #24

That's good to know. NurseJackie Oct 2021 #39

Yes, I heard this analogy nearly 20 years ago and moonscape Oct 2021 #54

"His parents are alive to him" LastDemocratInSC Oct 2021 #16

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that. NurseJackie Oct 2021 #18

Thank you for that story. LittleGirl Oct 2021 #31

:) Tears also. What a lovely gift for you both. Hortensis Oct 2021 #55

This is a very moving story...thank you BunnyMcGee Oct 2021 #97

Meet the people where they are mcar Oct 2021 #17

When my mother-in-law had Alzheimers Wicked Blue Oct 2021 #19

The old stories are the best... NurseJackie Oct 2021 #84

As an almost 20 year Hospice companion, I have found that if you focus on the past... 40RatRod Oct 2021 #22

Yes that is so with my mother. Captain Zero Oct 2021 #26

I finally learned Rebl2 Oct 2021 #23

I remember one visit (she was already in skilled-care) my sister told me... NurseJackie Oct 2021 #27

A friend of mine does this with her wnylib Oct 2021 #25

My mother had Alzheimer's Jarqui Oct 2021 #28

Thank you for posting this extremely valuable information. I have been saying similar, niyad Oct 2021 #29

Good advice. My father spent his last few years in a nursing home, and towards the end he was Dial H For Hero Oct 2021 #30

I found it effective to never mention that something had been said before or repeated bigtree Oct 2021 #32

Absolutely!!! You'll make them "afraid" to speak or self conscious... NurseJackie Oct 2021 #37

thanks for the thread bigtree Oct 2021 #44

Wow! Fun... funny... and sad. That's a great story! Thank you! NurseJackie Oct 2021 #80

My mother suffered from dementia for her last 10 years. Although it was difficult to watch her... George II Oct 2021 #33

You're right about that. It is sad. NurseJackie Oct 2021 #43

Not always the best advice. Depends on each patient. My mother-in-law for example Doodley Oct 2021 #34

There is a difference between dementia and delirium Deminpenn Oct 2021 #46

And? Why are you assuming that I don't know that? I looked after my MIL for years and this was a Doodley Oct 2021 #49

Just fwiw as some people, including doctors, don't Deminpenn Oct 2021 #102

I think that would be obvious. BlackSkimmer Oct 2021 #51

Thank you for your contribution. Doodley Oct 2021 #53

Certainly. BlackSkimmer Oct 2021 #56

I would like to tell what was helpful and enjoyable for my sister. Tracer Oct 2021 #35

Same here Rebl2 Oct 2021 #40

My mother's situation was completely opposite. OAITW r.2.0 Oct 2021 #41

... NurseJackie Oct 2021 #42

I had a friend in my condo complex in Florida. marie999 Oct 2021 #45

Perfect! It's all about compassion... being fearless... finding silver linings... NurseJackie Oct 2021 #71

My spouse has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment, Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #47

I had to make a conscious effort to NOT speak to my sister like she was a child. NurseJackie Oct 2021 #52

I've gotten used to just swallowing my pride Ms. Toad Oct 2021 #62

Covid has been challenging for us since the long-term care facility restricted visitors. NurseJackie Oct 2021 #63

Beautiful Idea JustAnotherGen Oct 2021 #48

Thanks for this. BlackSkimmer Oct 2021 #50

... NurseJackie Oct 2021 #72

I loved my great grandmother's stories when I was growing up. rickyhall Oct 2021 #57

Great advice, & most of all a beautiful, if heartbreaking, thread. Thanks, all who contributed. Hekate Oct 2021 #60

To me seta1950 Oct 2021 #61

When I worked in a nursing home back in the 90's, we were still in the Wingus Dingus Oct 2021 #65

I was with my sister when she was seeing things that weren't there... NurseJackie Oct 2021 #67

That's about all you can do--accept what they believe but try to reassure Wingus Dingus Oct 2021 #69

One problem is when people were trained to "attempt to reorient" nitpicker Oct 2021 #75

A sobering thread with many thoughtful responses grantcart Oct 2021 #68

When she was still aware, I knew that my visits would be quickly forgotten... NurseJackie Oct 2021 #78

this is what my Mom is currently like.... bahboo Oct 2021 #81

K&R Blue Owl Oct 2021 #79

Somehow I Thought This Was Going To Be COL Mustard Oct 2021 #85

The beautiful hours of time travel lostnfound Oct 2021 #86

I wish I could rec this about a hundred thousand times, I really do. nt Maru Kitteh Oct 2021 #88

Thanks. NurseJackie Oct 2021 #101

I appreciated the moment when it was my grandma.... KentuckyWoman Oct 2021 #89

My Mother went back to her early 20's. Texaswitchy Oct 2021 #90

it's what I have always done Skittles Oct 2021 #91

Both my sister, who I live with and care for, MerryBlooms Oct 2021 #94

My older brother passed from FTD BunnyMcGee Oct 2021 #96

I Feel I Have A Preview of What This Is Like... usedtobedemgurl Oct 2021 #100