Thoughts from a professor that are going to make me look like a grumpy old man. [View all]

[cab67]

Man? yes. Grumpy? at the moment, sure. Old? I'm still a few years away from 60, so that's a matter of opinion.

Just a few thoughts from a college professor to students and, just as importantly, their parents, that have arisen since the final exam for my course this morning.

Want to take the exam at on a day or at a time other than scheduled? Maybe. But if you're told "no," there's usually a very good reason for that.

Here are some things we can accommodate: illness (with a medical note; this includes psychiatric/mental as well as physical problems); family emergencies (funerals or sudden very severe medical incidents or accidents); court date or jury duty; family event planned long in advance (e.g. wedding), provided we're notified well before the exam; job interview; conflicting institution-related event (e.g. related to sports, ROTC, or a required field trip for another class); computer problems (if the exam is online); work schedule conflict (though if it happens frequently, it might be good to take a different class or get a different job).

Here are some things we either can't or won't: oversleeping; routine as opposed to milestone family event (e.g. I'll accommodate you for your grandmother's 100th birthday party, but not your cousin's 8th); missed a bunch of class, but haven't made an effort to speak to me or borrow someone's notes until minutes before or some time after the exam; not feeling ready and wanting extra time; travel preference (e.g. wanting to take a test early because it's scheduled late in finals week or right before Thanksgiving/Spring break and you want to get out of town).

Bottom line - we accommodate need, not convenience.

I'm generally very forgiving on many things. I'm actually going to work with a student who missed this morning's final because he overslept; the exam was scheduled for 7:30, and this student was pretty diligent throughout the semester. Some of my colleagues wouldn't.

A former partner had to announce to her Friday 4:30 PM class session that they were having a quiz each week, that they could only make it up in an emergency situation, and that "but mom and/or dad already bought the plane ticket" would not qualify as an emergency for missing the quiz on the Friday before Thanksgiving break, which lasts all of the following week.

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I get a lot of rescheduling requests. I'm forced to reject many of them. I don't like being a jerk, but I have my reasons:

1. As a matter of fact, yes - it's an imposition.

At my institution, students may be allowed extra time on exams, and possibly a private distraction-free room, if they qualify through the student disability services office. Whether I think all of these students actually need these accommodations or not, many really do, and I'm happy to help. But in recent years, 5 percent or more of my students will have some sort of accommodation, and because our budget is in the toilet, it usually falls on instructors to schedule the separate times and spaces. And this is a serious burden if you're teaching a big lecture class; my fall large-enrollment class caps at 200, so I'm responsible for scheduling separate exam times for about ten students. Doesn't sound like much, but that means aligning the class and work schedules for each student with mine, which doesn't have a whole lot of wiggle-room. I'll only ask one of my teaching assistants to do this if there's no other option; my TA's have enough to do as it is.

Bear in mind, 200 is a big class, but there are classes far larger than that on my campus. But we manage.

Then, we have acceptable excuses. A loved one has died, or is dying. You have a fever. You're experiencing a major depressive episode. You're a bridesmaid or groomsman in a wedding. It's your brother's bar mitzvah, or it's your niece's baptism. Your prick of a boss changed your work schedule and won't budge.

We understand that life happens. It's happened to us. So we're generous to those who have real needs. As long as you can document anything that came up short-notice or let me know long enough in advance if it's already scheduled, I'll work with you.

But if your family wants to go skiing and the tickets are a lot cheaper if you leave before the exam, you're out of luck, at least if I'm the professor. The answer is the same if you have another exam later the same day or feel distracted because of an argument you had with someone. My hair always goes a shade grayer once I've finished the spaghetti scheduling involved with the accommodations for an exam, and that's for the legitimate ones.

(A note to parents - it's a very, very good idea to ask your kid when his or her exams are early in a term. This way, exam schedules can be kept in mind when events are being scheduled. It annoys me when a student tells me that a big milestone party has been scheduled at the last minute and it conflicts with an exam.)

2. Taking an exam at a different time increases the chances that the exam will be misplaced before the score is entered. I say this not only from my own direct experience, but from the experiences of several colleagues.

We're human. We work hard to prevent mistakes, and they're fortunately rare, but they do happen. There are circumstances that make mistakes more likely. With exams, not taking it with everyone else is one such circumstance. And making tests electronic or on-line doesn't necessarily help.

(A note to both students and parents, and I've said this before on DU: keep everything handed back to you. It's your receipt. I once had a student contact me after the final exam to complain about her grade. She thought she was getting a B, but ended up with a C. I looked over her grades, and explained that, sure enough, one midterm and her final were in the 80's, but her other midterm was a 28. That's what killed her grade. "But I didn't get a 28," she replied, "I got an 82!" She showed me her exam, and sure enough, she was right. The shit-for-brains who entered the exam scores - almost certainly me - managed to type the numbers in backwards. It was easily corrected, especially because I was able to see the actual midterm in question.)

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Most professors and instructors whine about these things around final exam time. I'm no different, I suppose. But if my looking like a digital curmudgeon inspires someone to think twice about asking for an accommodation for the sake of convenience, maybe I don't mind.