Is Any Place In This Country - Safe?....

[viva la]

26. I've learned a lot from Dateline!

1. It's almost always the spouse.
2. "Missionary" is the most murderous of all professions.
3. Small-town feuds lead to generations of murders, especially when there's intermarriage between the Montagues and Capulets.
4. The Devil goes to church twice a week! He usually runs the Wednesday morning Men's Bible Study, in fact.
5. Never ever ever trust an "all is well" text that seems to come from a missing person's phone- insist on a Facetime!
6. "She said she wanted it like 50 Shades of Gray" = rape/murder.
7. When someone wants to hire a killer, they'll ask a half-dozen friends and acquaintances. Half will laugh, half will negotiate. NONE will ever call the police.
8. If you've killed your spouse, you can get off by saying it was self-defense, even if you had a gun and the other had nothing.

Hmm. I think I need some less a-moral shows to watch.