Cheer up, Trumpy [View all]
Things may not be going great for you right now, what with all those investigations into your business dealings, allegations of tax fraud and/or evasion, the Jan-6 hearings going prime-time, yadda yadda.
But let me assure you that no matter what happens from here on out, you will never be forgotten. There will never be a time between now and your dying day - and even beyond - that anyone will ever say, "Who was this Trump guy? Never heard of him."
Rest assured, you will be the punchline of jokes for decades to come. Late-night TV shows hosted by up-and-comers who are contemporaries of Colbert's, Kimmel's, and Fallon's great-grandchildren will still be eliciting yuks simply by mentioning your name in their opening monologues.
History teachers will dazzle their students with tales of a "pResident" who once captured the hearts and minds of devoted supporters who died of Covid due to following his medical advice, gathered together to await the resurrection of long-dead politicians and rock stars, and believed that a self-proclaimed "pussy grabber" was chosen by God to lead a Christian nation.
The BIG LIE will be remembered as the BIG LAUGH, and future generations will wonder how a bunch of inept Trump-humpers thought they could overthrow democracy while leaving a trail of emails, text messages, and phone exchanges in their wake.
And your face will never be forgotten. All of those photos of you staring into a solar eclipse will live forever - along with the videos of you acting like an orange-faced buffoon while you insisted that wind-turbines cause cancer, suggesting that injecting bleach can eliminate a pandemic, or promoting the idea of nuking hurricanes.
You WILL live forever, Donald. You will forever be a shining example of corruption, failure, and abject stupidity - a born loser whose only claim to fame was being impeached twice, orchestrating a failed coup, and reminding the world what shit looks like when it rises to the top of the punchbowl.
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