Two flights from hell in one day... [View all]

[Atman]

So I get up wicked early Friday morning to catch a flight to Orlando, attending the annual Surf Expo -- I was actually a VIP guest at the Surfing Hall of Fame induction ceremony! Pretty cool, but I digress.

I'm still wearing "the boot," recovering from tendon surgery 10 weeks ago, so I arranged for pre-boarding so I could secure the bulkhead seat. Dr. said it was best if I didn't fly yet, but if I was going to, make sure I have leg room, and move around a lot. So I deliberately booked a flight that changed planes in Baltimore, with a two hour layover during which I could stretch and take a break.

It's early, I'm looking to catch up zzz's. No one takes the seat next to me because there is no room in the overhead and you're not allowed any loose items in those seats -- this proved to be a deal killer for at least half a dozen women who tried to sit there, but couldn't part with their purses.

Finally, just as the plane is getting ready to leave, surprisingly NOT 100% full, a large, bearded gentlemen ambles on board and, you guessed it, chooses the still-empty middle seat. There goes my arm rest. But then, the introductions start, the questions start. The deep southern accent...turns out he was a long-haul trucker going to help a buddy paint a funny car.

Somehow, for some reason, he brought up the subject of the urinating marines. He was outraged that anyone cared about what these brave men did to a couple of Taliban that they'd already killed anyway. Ugh. I managed to avoid getting into it, instead responding with various grunts, sighs, shrugs and tsk tsk-ing. But this crap continued for the whole flight. I arrived in Baltimore tired, with a stiff neck from having to lean to one the entire time so he had room.

Flight two began in a nearly identical fashion. First an elderly gentleman took the window seat, no one wanted the middle seat until the plane became full. That's when Mr. Salesman in a perfectly pressed expensive suit got aboard, "charmed" the flight attendants with winks and small talk...and moved into that middle seat. Without wasting a moment, his hand is extended, "Hi, I'm Tom," huge phony salesman grin. "What did you do to your foot." So I told him.

Just my fucking luck, the guy sells replacement knees. He proceeds to tell me all about my surgery and what the docs did to me. He started talking the politics of health care, and what he'd do. That's when I broke one of my rules and told him that I work in politics, so be careful where he was going with this. That just cranked him up a notch.

The inevitable "what do you do in politics?" came up, and when I told him I was an advertising art director for the Democrats, he actually got up, went back to his carry-on and brought me a stack of his sales literature, asking my opinion and to quote what it would cost to redesign.

This, as on the previous flight, never stopped for nearly 2 1/2 hours. It really creeped me out when showed up in the bathroom after we'd landed in Orlando, took the urinal next to me and continued chatting. Then walked with me to the monorail, even asked if I was renting a car and what rate I got.

WTF is it with people? When I travel alone, I look at it as a zen-like thing, a solitary journey. I guess that was my first mistake.