The Source of Masculine Toxicity.

[Bucky]

188. When you treat a collection of individuals, even bad ones, like a collective, you miss the point

Each shooter, each misogynist, has a different pathology driving their violent or abusive impulses. A sweeping statement like "men lost control over women and so many of them turn into abusers" is close, but is not quite depicting the dynamic accurately. There are, after all, plenty of men who do have power over "their" women. Some of them turn into shooters as well. The mythology of the American mass shooter is that it's the victims of the times lashing out at the modern world. The reality has always been that most mass shooters (and most interpersonal abusers using other means) are successful bullies, successful abusers & controllers who are simply upping their game, taking the abuse to a new level.

Such men aren't lashing out at women cause they've "lost control" of them. There are as many different motivations and pathologies as there are outlashers. Many are lashing out because they feel entitled to, because there is ongoing social messaging that it's okay to abuse, that it's an expression of manliness that they have already tasted & practiced. "They kick dogs before they kick lovers," a detective who specialized in family violence cases once told me. So women standing up for themselves, society messaging that women should stand up for themselves, or women being "unruly" as you put it, isn't really the catalyst for domestic violence or domestic terrorism. It's the start of the cure for it.