Pope Francis warns pets must not replace children in Italy

[gratuitous]

26. Dear Your Popeness (and other opponents of a declining birth rate)

We're doing a piss-poor job of taking care of the 8 billion or so people currently occupying the planet, and you want MORE people brought into this calamity? A privileged handful live lives of unparalleled luxury while millions, even billions, starve unprotected from the elements. By any religious definition, this is a sin, and not one of those little venial sins, either. No, this is one of those mortal sins, the kind that (if I remember by catechism) puts your eternal sole in peril of everlasting damnation.

I no longer subscribe to Catholic dogma, but if you do Your Popeness, I implore you, nay, I beseech you in the very bowels of Christ, to set an example by which all persons can live without fear and a more equitable and just distribution of wealth and resources.

Oh, and leave the dog alone.