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Thunderbeast

(3,814 posts)

59. A very popular Russian joke...

Fri Oct 27, 2023, 04:53 PM

Oct 2023

Near Red Square, a man approaches a news stand, and buys the morning paper. After glancing at the front page, he throws the paper in a trash bin. The next morning, the same man comes to the news stand, buys a paper, and throws it in the trash again.

On the third day, he returns. The man in the kiosk asks him "Why do you buy a newspaper only to look at the front page?"

"I am looking for an obituary" the man replies.

"Obituaries are NOT on the front page" says the vendor.

"THIS ONE WILL BE!" replies the man.

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Highlight:

Has Putin Died? What We Know, What We Don't [View all] William769 Oct 2023 OP

I'll Wait Till I See A Kremlin Denial, Sir, Before I Believe It The Magistrate Oct 2023 #1

I am waiting for an AI image of him denying it. JohnSJ Oct 2023 #3

I thought I saw a denial earlier nt AZSkiffyGeek Oct 2023 #5

The Russian Dude on YouTube shared a couple denials this morning. sybylla Oct 2023 #72

Lol. gab13by13 Oct 2023 #2

He can settle it by coming on tv.......................... Lovie777 Oct 2023 #4

And it needs to be the real Vlad, Sky Jewels Oct 2023 #11

and not his stunt doubble . AllaN01Bear Oct 2023 #50

Who Can Say? MineralMan Oct 2023 #6

Schroedinger's Russian Despot? Ocelot II Oct 2023 #8

Exactly. Google can translate this: MineralMan Oct 2023 #12

Sounds like sgt. Schultz William769 Oct 2023 #21

Indeed. MineralMan Oct 2023 #25

That gave me a good chuckle. Xolodno Oct 2023 #60

The whole thing is so very Russian! liberalhistorian Oct 2023 #66

Probably a hoax, but I wouldn't be sad if it turned out to be true. Ocelot II Oct 2023 #7

Someone should drive a stake through his heart just to be sure he's not faking. Meadowoak Oct 2023 #9

Yes, I'm ok with that. Heehee. brush Oct 2023 #15

I wouldn't waste a good steak on him. Just throw him on the grill, too! Wonder Why Oct 2023 #56

True or not EYESORE 9001 Oct 2023 #10

Weekend with Bernie? Vogon_Glory Oct 2023 #13

Show me. Chainfire Oct 2023 #14

I'm itching to start the mourning process FrankBooth Oct 2023 #16

I will believe Bird Lady Oct 2023 #17

Caveat - funeral WITH a clearly visible body in high definition. Nt Maru Kitteh Oct 2023 #22

Is Russian media playing "Swan Lake?" That's supposed to be the traditional signal. n/t dobleremolque Oct 2023 #18

If he really did die they won't be able to keep that a secret for long. totodeinhere Oct 2023 #19

Exactly what I'm thinking KS Toronado Oct 2023 #43

The picture of being locked in with Putin's rotting corpse is quite vivid, but Maru Kitteh Oct 2023 #20

He'll be getting ripe pretty soon. lpbk2713 Oct 2023 #23

Flies are good nutrition. Those doctors will be getting hungry and Maru Kitteh Oct 2023 #30

I am so hoping this rumor is true kimbutgar Oct 2023 #24

Also to consider, Putin would fake his own death. Irish_Dem Oct 2023 #26

Anything is possible. William769 Oct 2023 #29

If things heat up too much for Putin, he will do his own extraction. Irish_Dem Oct 2023 #42

is trump crying? aren't they besties? orleans Oct 2023 #27

Psychopaths are incapable of empathy JoseBalow Oct 2023 #32

Wow - that sure sums him up. calimary Oct 2023 #48

donnie dollhands will be draped over his coffin... rubbersole Oct 2023 #35

He's not dead. He's says he's feeling better. Ray Bruns Oct 2023 #28

LOL William769 Oct 2023 #31

Norwegian Blues stun easily, major. JoseBalow Oct 2023 #37

Meanwhile, madamesilverspurs Oct 2023 #33

True or false? Maybe if we watch what happens in Ukraine? bluestarone Oct 2023 #34

As soon as... 2naSalit Oct 2023 #36

We all will be, especially the Russian People. William769 Oct 2023 #38

All I can say is . . . AverageOldGuy Oct 2023 #39

I have vodka I'll pour over his grave Marthe48 Oct 2023 #40

Good one! calimary Oct 2023 #49

Tan his hide, Clyde Marthe48 Oct 2023 #55

Wishful thinking CloudWatcher Oct 2023 #41

For those who remember... Mr. Evil Oct 2023 #44

I always loved that hearing impaired bit with Garrett Morris! JoseBalow Oct 2023 #63

Konstantin at "inside Russia" says no way Warpy Oct 2023 #45

But death has a way of not being stopped by such things. calimary Oct 2023 #53

Putin is probably laughing his ass off at how often he can get away with this DFW Oct 2023 #46

Wow! peggysue2 Oct 2023 #47

Moon Over Parador JoseBalow Oct 2023 #62

LOL! peggysue2 Oct 2023 #70

My glass half full viewpoint of this is it's good news so that his invasion of Ukraine and killing iluvtennis Oct 2023 #51

Like a Movie Prendy Oct 2023 #52

That was a mostly factual account of Stalin's death though JoseBalow Oct 2023 #64

So silly. If he died his BFF Trump would have blabbed Bluesaph Oct 2023 #54

Message auto-removed Name removed Oct 2023 #57

Popcorn & Vodka, anyone? Wonder Why Oct 2023 #58

A very popular Russian joke... Thunderbeast Oct 2023 #59

That joke could earn you 5 years in the Gulag, JoseBalow Oct 2023 #65

"Russian gossip channel General SVR" TwilightZone Oct 2023 #61

24 hours after this supposed "coup d'etat" was meant to have happened, you bother starting a thread about it? muriel_volestrangler Oct 2023 #67

It was a current Newsweek article William769 Oct 2023 #68

Well, that's part of the point - Newsweek is an awful rag these days muriel_volestrangler Oct 2023 #71

"...this reported slide in health has allegedly reached its nadir, if the newest rumor is to be believed." LudwigPastorius Oct 2023 #69