Of bears and men: How big does a risk have to be before you "have to" walk around scared?

[wnylib]

168. Wow. Talk about clueless. You mention one dog attack making

Last edited Wed May 8, 2024, 12:12 PM - Edit history (1)

a person fearful of dogs. Women experience threatening behavior, gestures, words, gropes, and stalking frequently throughout our lives any time, any place.

It's not always about sex, but that's the most common type of incident. Sometimes it's about being perceived by a man as smaller or weaker or vulnerable enough to mug for money. Sometimes it's just a misogynist looking to feel manly by trying to assert himself over a woman.

It can start as early as puberty. I can remember at age 11 walking down a residential street during the day in a neighborhood considered safe and being stalked by a strange man driving slowly beside me, offering a ride and getting angry when I ignored him. Threatened he'd "show you what it's all about, girly." I rushed to the store and called home. My mother sent my older brother to walk back with me. On the way home, he gave me tips on how to get away or defend myself in situations like that.

Age 14, guys in cars driving by yelling out, "Hey, wanna f***? "

Age 15 at a Greyhound bus station on my way home to PA after visiting relatives in SC. Airline strike then or I would have flown. Had a layover in VA for a couple hours before the next bus. Stalked by a man who would not take no for an answer when I refused his offer to drive me part of the way. Had to stay at the bus depot's food counter where the waitress helped me avoid him.

I've overheard "ordinary guys" at work complaining about a woman that they thought was too ambitious saying, "What she needs to straighten her out is a good f***."

Workplaces, elevators, parking garages, walking on city streets in daytime, etc. throughout my life. I am an ordinary female, not beautiful, not ugly. Just being female is enough. Of course not all men are like that. But there are plenty who are. Some of them are "respectable" people at home or in church on Sunday. No, it doesn't happen to the same woman every day. But it's frequent enough to be prudently cautious and prepared to act if necessary by carrying keys or mace, having situational awareness, having a phone handy to call 911, going into a public place when being followed, etc.

Terrified? No. Cautious, prepared, and aware of surroundings? You bet. Comes with the territory of being female.

Guys like that make me more angry than terrified.

I don't get gaslighted, either, by guys who deny our reality with their fantasy.