Stop Telling Women How to Not Get Raped

[Tansy_Gold]

66. Um, maybe if it were effective, women wouldn't still be getting raped?

Maybe it would help if we looked at some of the statistics for who gets raped and who does the raping.

(Keep in mind that the FBI has only this year -- 2012 -- changed its own definition of "rape" as exclusively forcible penetration of a female by a male, so many assaults that would commonly fall under that rubric do not enter into the statistics.)

Most rapes (roughly 80%) occur in someone's home, either the rapist's or the victim's, or a home shared by them; 7.2% at parties, 7.2% in cars, 3.6% outdoors, 2.2% in bars. So if we keep the women out of the bars, that's only going to affect 2.2% of the rapes, and maybe a few of those that are committed in cars after the victim has left the bar.

47% of rapes occur when both parties have been using drugs or alcohol; 17% only the perpetrator, 7% only the victim, and 29% of the cases did not involve drugs or alcohol.

Only about 20% of rapes are reported to law enforcement; given the fact that women are STILL blamed for their own rape, is it any wonder many of them are reluctant to accuse? "Oh, she went to a bar, so it's not really rape; she was askin' for it." "Well, look at the clothes she's wearing! She must have wanted it, and I just obliged." "My buddy told me she was an easy lay; if she slept with/ fucked him, why would I think she wouldn't sleep with/fuck me? She's just a whiny whore. She wanted it, I know she did." "She coulda stopped it and she didn't, so it's her fault. I had to rape her. I had no choice. She made me do it!" "She's my wife; you can't rape your own wife. She's supposed to have sex with me whenever I want, none of this I have a headache bullshit. She's my wife; I can fuck her whenever I damn well want!"

It's men who rape. Not all of them, and not all the time. But if that's true, if they can be taught not to rape MOST of the time, then they can be taught not to rape ANY time.

We're not talking about the sociopaths, the psychopaths, the mentally ill who really don't have any control over themselves. We're talking about the "normal" guy who thinks he's entitled to have sex with a woman he just spent $200 on for dinner and a show, and when she decides he's not the kinda guy she wants to go to bed with, he forces her. And in the process, either through the means he uses to force her or in the recriminations after the deed is done, he lets her know that it's her fault. Without witnesses, with the evidence of a few drinks at dinner, he's pretty much told her no one will believe her if she claims she was raped. Yet that's what happened, and he's going to leave her and go back to his "normal" life, to his job and his friends, and he's not going to feel the least bit guilty about what he did because he was entitled to it. Everybody knows that. And anyway, he's not some sicko pervert hanging around dark alleys; he's a normal guy.

Yeah, right.

That's the kind of guy who needs to be educated. Apparently some on this thread think it can't be done, and others think it doesn't need to be. Either way, that's a pretty dismal assessment of men.


TG