No! For men, rape is NOT the default.

[hfojvt]

46. drunk sex

I have to sort of wonder why that IS such a bad thing.

As a man, how would I feel if some woman did that to me? Deliberately got me drunk in order to have sex with me.

Hard to imagine, because first of all, I do not drink. Second, it's hard to imagine that there are actually women who would want to have sex with me. If such women exist, where can I meet some of them?

But, of course, while there are lots and lots of attractive women, there are also many that I would not want to have sex with. Some of whom I have dated.

So, I am having drinks with one of them and one of two things happens

1. I wake up later, discovering that I had sex with her.

or

2. I wake up later, and find she is on top of me, engaging in intercourse.

What's my reaction?

I generally think of sex as a good thing, like eating ice cream or pizza, or hitting a home run in baseball, or winning a game of chess against a grandmaster.

I mean, isn't waking up to find out you had sex, more like waking up to find out you had an ice cream cone than it is waking up to find out you had a root canal? And even if I did wake up to find out I had a root canal, why wouldn't I be happy that I slept through the horrible ordeal?

Waking up to find youself actially having sex is only horrible and disgusting if you feel the other person is disgusting. Kinda like waking up to find a roach crawling on your face. Which actually happened to me once, I screamed, killed the roach and went back to sleep. But the two women I dated and did not want to have sex with do not strike me as disgusting. Semi-unattractive, but not really disgusting. My unattractive co-workers. I guess I find their bodies to be disgusting, but not they themselves. And in many ways, I find my own body to be disgusting. None of them are probably dreaming of sex with me any more than I am dreaming of sex with them. Heck some of them, unlike my disgusting self, are married (or in relationships).

So, it seems to me that even if I did get drunk and woke up to find myself having sex with someone like that, that I would not feel as upset as if I had been robbed or beaten or even insulted. I might not be happy about it, or proud of it, but it would not even make the top 100, probably, of bad things that have happened to me in my life, and I have had a fairly sheltered life compared to many.