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hfojvt

(37,573 posts)

59. because they are living their life in fear of you?

Fri Nov 30, 2012, 02:28 PM

Nov 2012

That kinda proves my point though. They lived their work day without fear and there was a brief moment of fear when they were "walking in the dark".

Yet, for a time there, before I got more comfortable with this city - I carried pepper spray with me when I walked or biked home from work. A man could logically fear being attacked by a gun or knife wielding stranger, or even, like myself, being accosted by some drunk or belligerent person who is big enough to be dangerous even unarmed. The only reason I feel as safe as I do, is because I have the speed for flight if a fight or flight situation arises. They call me the breeze.

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No! For men, rape is NOT the default. [View all] Bonobo Nov 2012 OP

We must be reminded RobertEarl Nov 2012 #1

"the default rape creatures that they are" flvegan Nov 2012 #2

Ummm, you snatched that quote out of context, 5gan... Bonobo Nov 2012 #9

Ummm, no I didn't. flvegan Nov 2012 #22

Sorry, I have no idea what you are saying. Bonobo Nov 2012 #23

there are many cultural examples of men being taught the opposite values G_j Nov 2012 #3

Why is it then that despite watching countless violent television shows, playing Arkana Nov 2012 #69

lucky you G_j Nov 2012 #73

I don't dispute that they may have an effect on young minds. Arkana Nov 2012 #74

agreed, the buck stops at the parents G_j Nov 2012 #77

I think the culture introduces the idea later in adolescence Prism Nov 2012 #4

Interesting... Bonobo Nov 2012 #7

I think you've touched upon it. Prism Nov 2012 #16

That is an interesting observation LittleBlue Nov 2012 #66

you really think about the beginning of time, they had the brain power and the knowledge to know seabeyond Nov 2012 #70

Just an excuse. Just like so many rationalizations so many of us use to excuse ourselves Egalitarian Thug Nov 2012 #40

I think that's part of it. The rationalization Prism Nov 2012 #51

drunk sex hfojvt Nov 2012 #46

Men can't get pregnant Prism Nov 2012 #52

but logically there is a consideration hfojvt Nov 2012 #53

A girl did that to me once. And I statuatorially raped her. ieoeja Nov 2012 #78

+1. HiPointDem Nov 2012 #5

it doesn't matter how many threads people make liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #6

Men's biggest fear is that women will laugh at them. Women's biggest fear is that men will kill them Sadiedog Nov 2012 #8

Wow. That is haunting. liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #10

Me too - and I'm a man. dchill Nov 2012 #28

Apparently Margaret Atwood relayed that quote. Bonobo Nov 2012 #11

Thank you, I am glad to know who said it originally. Sadiedog Nov 2012 #12

Just so you know, men also fear being killed by other men. Bonobo Nov 2012 #13

Sad! Sadiedog Nov 2012 #18

As a man Berserker Nov 2012 #24

We're not all giant vikings... nt Bonobo Nov 2012 #26

"they go through their life in fear of us" hfojvt Nov 2012 #42

It's a generalization, i.e. overly broad by its nature. I don't necessarily agree *or* disagree. nomorenomore08 Nov 2012 #43

there is the generalization hfojvt Nov 2012 #45

Wrong. Completely, utterly wrong. nt redqueen Nov 2012 #50

in what way? hfojvt Nov 2012 #57

It isn't big things, like whether or not to get married gollygee Nov 2012 #75

Which is why I am asked consistently by my LanternWaste Nov 2012 #54

they are .... hawt, for you, dontcha know. it means they want sex? nt seabeyond Nov 2012 #55

Darn tootin'! LanternWaste Nov 2012 #58

really. seabeyond Nov 2012 #60

because they are living their life in fear of you? hfojvt Nov 2012 #59

No... it doesn't. LanternWaste Nov 2012 #64

theya re at work. it is dark outside. they do not want to go outside by themselves. seabeyond Nov 2012 #65

That may be how you feel TrueBlueinCO Nov 2012 #67

Gavin de Becker, The Gift Of Fear LadyHawkAZ Nov 2012 #29

Yes! That is the book that I had heard the fear quote in! Thanks! NT Sadiedog Nov 2012 #79

THE GIFT OF FEAR by Gavin de Becker. nt raccoon Nov 2012 #47

Lorena Bobbit's husband would beg to differ (nt) Nye Bevan Nov 2012 #48

Some people do have to be taught not to abuse their kids leftstreet Nov 2012 #14

Because they were not raised right. Bonobo Nov 2012 #15

Agreed leftstreet Nov 2012 #17

Bonobo? really? NashvilleLefty Nov 2012 #19

I agree. Orangutans rape, bonobos don't. nt Bonobo Nov 2012 #27

Unbelievable that I have to post this link over and over again. We are so clueless about our culture Luminous Animal Nov 2012 #20

people don't want to believe humans can think this way liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #21

I am skeptical. Surveys are notorious for their ability to be manipulated. Bonobo Nov 2012 #25

I have been manipulated and coerced into having sex liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #30

That is never a nice thing. Bonobo Nov 2012 #31

what is physically coercive sex? Do you mean physically forcible sex? liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #32

I meant physically forcing, which is, of course rape itself. Bonobo Nov 2012 #33

I can't say whether I sustained the same level of trauma as someone who was forcibly raped liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #35

I am sorry for you hurt. Bonobo Nov 2012 #37

thank you liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #38

Physical coercion can result in sex? Silly me, I thought that was rape! bettyellen Nov 2012 #34

Nope, not blurry in the least. See post #33. nt Bonobo Nov 2012 #36

I wonder if that is a common experience hfojvt Nov 2012 #44

for you... redqueen Nov 2012 #61

The tone nvme Nov 2012 #39

"If it involves traumatic(physical) or manipulative, coercive, or substance induced. redqueen Nov 2012 #63

For me this speaks to an even more fundamental question, of whether people are "naturally" more nomorenomore08 Nov 2012 #41

Some women and men do have to be taught not to abuse their children gollygee Nov 2012 #49

Makes sense, but then there are a few who apparently just don't know treestar Nov 2012 #56

or put an aspirin between your knees. come on. guys have known sayings about this shit. no means seabeyond Nov 2012 #62

You're Correct. It is NOT a Default Position ProfessorGAC Nov 2012 #68

I wasn't going to reply to this, but people seem to be taking it seriously... redqueen Nov 2012 #71

Yeah, I didn't know how to answer this because I couldn't think of how gollygee Nov 2012 #76

Predators always know marions ghost Nov 2012 #72